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For me, pole dancing is a metaphor for life.

It is painful but from that pain blossoms new growth. It is scary to trust my ability to handle the skills, but in that trust, I soar into new possibilities.

A while ago, I did a photoshoot with photographer @marcholzhausenfotografie. This was the only time I did a photoshoot for my pole dance. It was never really shared. Social media made me feel uncomfortable. One time, I did share it and someone said I was a terrible mom for having pictures of Laine’s art on my wall and a stripper pole in my house.

I was totally confronted. It left me to wonder, “Is this what the world thinks?”

I cannot be a good mom and learn pole dance at home? I can only be a good mom if I conform?

Pole dance has always been for me. I use it to feel alive. I don’t share a lot of it; I mainly share my yoga. Social media has helped me to see a lot of untruths and grow out of a lot of shame. I’m still working on it.

However, I think a key part of it is sharing our journey openly, as that helps to stop shame from others limiting us.

My teacher, @kheannawalker, reminds me every time I train with her that I am stronger and more capable than I think. She reminds me it is okay to fall and not know the answers or be able to understand something yet; it isn’t failure. It is the ability to show up and grow.

For me, movement is meditation. Movement for me is the truest conversation I will ever have. It expresses all the words I never have words for. It allows for the pain to move rather than stay stuck, so I can see I am more than my pain.

When I share my content here, I don’t see myself as a yogi, yoga teacher, personal trainer, pole dancer, an author, or labels that confine/define me. I just see myself as an ordinary girl sharing her experiences and thoughts through movement.

Movement stops me from covering up the silence and allows me to flow into the answers I seek. It stops me from searching outside of myself and in others for those answers.

It stops me from looking for love in different places and faces and reminds me it has always existed at the moment I close my eyes, listen, and be.