January 26, 2022

The Subtle Art of Flirtation.

“Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!” ~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act I, Scene 5


Shakespeare really worked it, didn’t he?

At least his “Romeo” used language to woo. Look where he ended up. It wasn’t good, was it?

There is no antidote for the lure of charm in many cases, and those who weave a web of lies to get what they want are perhaps the most dangerous.

I have come to the game of love late, and I am still learning. To be honest, I often miss the subtleties of the art of flirtation.

I am by nature awkward and naïve. I see and can read what is often going on with others in terms of relationships, and yet, when it comes to myself, I am an anomaly often missing when overt flirtation is happening. This being said, I am getting an education. This education isn’t nice, I might add.

The reality is that an open heart and seeing the best in people are a great vulnerability. When my gut says, “Pay heed this is charm,” my heart says, “But listen; there may be more.” I want to run and hide, and yet I let the banter continue.

In the midst of writing this piece, I had a long conversation with a single, lifelong friend who reiterated my ideas regarding flirtation.

My wise, older friend says that there is no innocent flirting. She adds the dangers of social media, liking, and the subtle flirtation that occur millions of times over daily.

When our social media is “love-bombed,” that person is saying “I’m interested.” This may be the case with those who are not available.

Social media and the virtual world are sometimes unreal. We only see what is put out for us to see, and it is a fantasy.

According to my expert relationship correspondent, when we flirt in real life, it is different. We are saying “I’m interested,” there are other things at play, and we can read body language and social cues. If you aren’t available, should you be flirting online or in person?

Flirting isn’t bad. It is healthy in a healthy context and can help with self-esteem. It also gives the opposite sex signals of attraction.

We humans even flirt at times without being aware we are doing it.

Have you ever stared too long into someone’s eyes or stood too close? Maybe you inhaled their perfume or touched their arm?

Every interaction has a reaction. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Physics—not biology or chemistry; I know, but you get the drift!

This physics’ laws of motion can be applied to people.

Flirtation is an art, and for every art, there is a dance. Darlings, this can be a dangerous one. This is something to pay attention to and think about.

We can ask ourselves if our words and actions are mindful or if they come from reacting and based on need.

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