January 12, 2022

Does Love End with Separation?


View this post on Instagram

I woke from a dream feeling like it wasn’t a dream, and all I could think of is that I had a visit from my dead ex-husband.

In my REM dream state, I received a call.

In my dream, I was out shopping and running into men who had asked me out when my phone rang.

“Renee,” said a familiar voice. A deep voice, rich and soothing. “Can I call you back?” I asked, as I don’t like talking when out.

“Renee, you obviously can’t call me back, and it took some work to make this call, so listen.” I did and he said to go back and pet the horses at the ranch. After receiving this message, I woke. It felt so real, and I was elated and eager to share this dream with others.

Waking, I felt a joy like no other.

In the fall of this year, I helped facilitate a grief camp for youth, one in which my ex also worked when he walked the earth.

The camp provided support and counselling to children who had lost family members. During the camp, I really didn’t get time to spend time with the horses, as I facilitated art sessions with the children.

We all try to make sense of dreams from time to time, and I am no different. This felt like a visitation dream—and why now…I am not sure. I do know that I would like to spend time with horses in nature and this would be of benefit. It was so good to hear my ex-husband’s voice.

I acknowledge that healing likely needs to happen. I need to process my own grief before I can move forward in the “love department.”

Many moons ago, when I first met my husband, he was going through his own anticipatory grief, as his elder brother was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Our early married days were filled with loss, and this both brought us together and then apart. We shared openly and in isolation.

Mental illness would eventually take my husband from me. Although we both were able to move forward in life on our own, our lives together were severed. I still have grief work to do, as I have never really processed this. I am open to working on this, yet wonder, how do we get over love?

If you have ever loved someone, even though you have parted, this story may ring true.

Love does not end with separation, and it surely does not end with death.

The phone call dream was a reminder of love and connection, even if only in my own heart, and the possibility of loving another if I continue this journey to heal and move on with life living fully.

Today I pause and say you can’t hurry love, and I laugh recalling the first joke prank my ex-husband made when I was working with him at summer camp. After a staff meeting, he answered the telephone and said it was for me, “Renee, telephone; it is God. He says you should sing more.” We all had a good laugh.

Oh, love shall always remain.

I’m open to taking calls from the great beyond, and my heart remains open.



Read 6 Comments and Reply

Read 6 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Renee Fesser  |  Contribution: 67,220

author: Renee Fesser

Image: muhammedsalah_/Instagram

Editor: Elyane Youssef