January 23, 2022

Vegan Lobster Hand Rolls: a Messy, Tasty, Finger-Licking Meal. {Recipe}


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When an urge to eat from the sea arises, no need to set the traps or grab nets.

I have been eating lots of kitchari, also spelled kichari, alternating with tofu, lately, and really craved a change. A glance in the pantry spotted the jars of artichoke hearts, and a couple ideas from past meals surfaced that had my salivary glands working overtime.

I made one dish two days ago and will be one of the topics in an upcoming article on Ayurveda and the winter season. Once I open a jar, it only has a few days to use the other half. So, this blast from one of my other artichoke hearts dining posts was on the menu today.

I first had this from a short-term vegan meal kit service I used at the start of the pandemic. I changed it then to eliminate what I cannot have and have since adapted based on wanted changes and what’s in the fridge.

I cook for one human and only measure certain items such as grains with water. I eyeball, dash, splash, and make mistakes. The worst is when the top of the pink salt came off and emptied half of the shaker into a jar when I was attempting to make cucumbers into pickles.

Ingredients for the “lobster”

Artichoke hearts: the jar was 12 ounces with the water, 7 ounces without. I used half.

Mustard: Dijon was in the fridge, about a tablespoon. Dry mustard with water or any other bottled mustard would also work.

Lemon juice: ¼ of a medium-sized one

Seasonings: Old Bay—I did a generous shake; kelp, ground: same

Ingredients for the dressing:

Vegan mayo: about a tablespoon

Lemon juice: ¼ of a medium-sized one

Celery: 2 skinny stalks

Spices: black pepper, a dash; salt, a dash of Banyan Botanicals Natural Mineral Salt

Other ingredients for the roll:

Bread: I used lavash from Atoria’s Family Bakery and cut it into 2 pieces of 4×5 inches.

Greens: romaine was in the fridge; broccoli microgreens on the windowsill.

Extra: carrot for garnish and munching, to add a crunch.

Oil: for sautéing the lavash and artichoke mix. I used a little EVOO, at most a tablespoon.

Miscellaneous items:

Medium to large sauté pan* without lid > spoon rest > cooking utensils > good mood > towels to hold washed produce > love > 2 small but not too small glass bowls for mixing the dressing and the coating for the artichoke hearts > music or home sounds (I prefer just apartment sounds) > serving plates > napkins because this is a messy eat > potholder if needed > cutting board > chef’s knife that fits your grip and has a weight suited to you.

*I am currently using a stainless-steel pan, it’s 10 or 12 inches. Takes some elbow grease to clean if no or minimal oil. I add water, let it sit while I am eating, and it usually comes clean easily after eating. I do save the coconut fiber base my microgreen seed quilts rest on and cut them into sizes to scrub stubborn, but rare pots and pans, and serve as soap dishes.

Remove the pesky feline from the countertop and clean it well. Distilled white vinegar with water in a spray bottle works just fine.

Mise en place all of the above in sections of what goes with what.


1. Wash and place on towel any produce.

2. In a glass bowl, add mustard, lemon juice (remove any pesky seeds that dropped in). Add in Old Bay and kelp and give it a stir. Pat the cut the artichoke hearts’ stem and gently slice in half lengthwise. If using minimal or no oil, leave them damp. Toss them into the mixture and set aside, near the pan though.

3. Cut the lavash or bread of choice, or use a roll opened.

4. Add oil to the pan, turn on stovetop light to low, turn on burner, and heat the oil.

5. Add the bread, I only sauté the side that will be up once plated.

6. This only takes a minute or two.

7. Chop the celery into small dice, peel, and set carrot on the serving plate.

8. Using the other bowl, add vegan mayo, lemon juice, chopped celery, salt, and black pepper. Add in celery and fold, mix.

9. Hmm, did you check on the bread? If you move to a slow groove, you may have wanted to hold off on the prior two steps. Either way, place the bread on the serving plate oiled side up.

10. Scoop the artichoke hearts and the mixture and all the goodness there into the still-hot pan. Keep checking and moving it around if you are not using more oil.

11. Add the larger green, romaine for me, on top of the bread. Add some or all the microgreens. Delicately place the mayo celery dressing in the center and feel free to get creative.

12. Check the pan and flip, move around. Not you, the lobster mix.

13. Turn off the burner, stovetop light, and fan. Spoon the lobster onto the top and perhaps add some carrot shavings, more microgreens.

14. Find a suitable spot to park your bum, hopefully with an outdoor view. Give gratitude.

15. Take a breath, take in the visual, and the smells. Alert all senses to activate. Now pick up the bread and if using a lavash, fold it. The juices will trickle down your fingers, onto your palm, and add a sensuous feel.


As usual, no critters were harmed in any phase of this process. One more win for all sentient beings, and another for this tiny blue marble we call Momma Earth.


For a whole bunch of delicious recipes, scroll through my author page.


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