January 31, 2022

How (& Why) we Attract People & Situations into our Lives.


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I am sure you have heard, at least once in your life, that the people you surround yourself with are actually reflections of certain parts of yourself.

(Ironically, they are usually the parts you don’t quite like and that need changing).

These people are your “mirror.

What does this mean?

Quite simply, we attract what we are (or ourselves). Crazy concept right? Not really; it’s actually quite logical. Once I adopted it and understood it, I knew it was truth.

Have you ever noticed something irritating or infuriating about someone? It could be your child, your friend, or even your beloved spouse.

I am sure you are nodding your head yes. Truth is, you most likely see something in them that you don’t like about yourself. They have a quality that you recognize and focus on—that is something you wish to change about yourself.

Interesting concept, huh? I love it!

Most of us are subconsciously reliving our youth traumas, which contribute to our fears, anxieties, dramas, and so on. We are attracting people, by our own design; they reflect the same dysfunctions we find in ourselves. They bring these things to the surface. It’s like looking in the mirror and not liking what we see (emotionally).

The magical part of this entire process is that if you allow yourself to see what is in the mirror, you have the ability to accept and make change. It is an incredible opportunity for personal growth.

Now, ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you attract emotionally unavailable partners who are noncommittal in relationships?

2. Do you constantly focus on the relationships you can’t have without exploring why you are not attracting men/women who are available?

3. Are you attracted to married women/men?

4. Do you attract men/women who need “fixing”?

5. Are you a magnet for negative people and gossip?

6. Do you continuously have drama and dysfunction in your life?

7. Are you in constant chaos, anxiety, and stress?

8. Do you live in victim mode or attract those who do?

If any of these scenarios sounds familiar you need to explore deeply and ask yourself:

 1. Am I emotionally available and able to commit to a healthy relationship?

2. Are there parts of me that need fixing that I am avoiding (old wounds), which is why I focus on him/her versus myself?

3. Am I subconsciously working through childhood trauma (i.e. abandonment) by chasing unavailable partners?

4. Am I trying to protect myself therefore attracting that which I cannot have?

5. Am I part of the problem?

6. Do I attract drama because of my own negativity? (Drama can’t live unless you feed it.)

7. Do I thrive in chaos?

Simply put, if you want to attract healthy people into your life. If you desire healthy friendships and relationships (i.e. lovers, family, and coworkers) then you yourself need to be healthy.

Remember, people will treat you how you allow them to. What you allow or tolerate is usually a direct reflection of how you feel about and treat yourself. When you value yourself and love yourself, there is no way you would let someone treat you badly or disrespect you.

If you take the time to work on yourself (self-love, self-care) not only will you feel amazing, but you will attract healthier people into your life and have deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Start today with focusing on your own personal outlook by taking a peek in your own mirror and deciding what part of you are attracting toxic people.

Remember, people will always show you who they are—believe them the first time.


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