“There are no good men left,” my girlfriend grumbles during dinner.
The full moon shines above on this fall crisp evening. I sat at a rectangular table on an outside patio at my favorite Italian restaurant with a group of friends in my little suburban town.
I haven’t seen this group of friends in almost two years. We used to spend so much time together, and then life got busy and it was hard to find the time.
It’s a good mix of men and women with different backgrounds, races, educational levels, ages, and marital status, yet we all somehow clicked and have stayed friends for over 10 years now.
One of the men in the group quickly responded to her outburst, “Bullsh*t.”
She continued. “All the good ones are taken. I can’t meet anyone.”
“You’re not looking in the right places.” He smiled with confidence.
She just ended a long-term relationship and is attempting to date again. She had tried online dating but that hasn’t worked out so well. Every time we chat on the phone, she complains of the lack of available good men. She swears all the good guys are already taken.
I began to wonder, at some point, were all the good ones taken?
Later that evening, I found myself calling every male friend I knew to find out where all the good guys have gone. The single ones were annoyed by my offensive question. How dare I ask such a thing to a single man who considered himself to be one of the good ones?
I quickly agreed and redirected my question to “where can a single woman go to meet you?” All of the men were eager to participate in my little treasure hunt that I was mapping out for the single ladies.
There are many really good guys who are still out there. Just because we haven’t met them on a dating site or a bar, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist.
This is where we can find those good men:
1. The supermarket
None of these men did online grocery shopping or had an account with any pre-made food services. Single men are at the supermarket shopping just like the rest of us. Single men need to eat. Some go daily. Others go once a week. But there are plenty of good single guys standing right next to us at the supermarket while deliberating over which box of rice to purchase.
The next time we stop at the market, we might as well add a little lip gloss. We never know who will be standing behind us at the checkout counter.
2. The gym
A lot of the men had a daily workout routine. They chose a healthier lifestyle instead of going to the bar and watching a football game. Workouts included running on the treadmill, spin classes, and lifting weights. It was important for them to feel good about themselves, live a stress-free life, and, of course, work toward a killer six-pack. Single men like to stay fit.
Now is another great reason to add a little bit of fitness into our routine. New year, new you, new man. Even if we don’t meet someone, we are still getting fit for a healthier life.
3. On the train
A few of the men took the train to the city on a regular basis. Have you ever taken the train to the city on a Monday morning? It’s loaded with men. Sure, some may be married. But according to my friends, there are a handful of available men just waiting for us to sit next to them and strike up a conversation.
4. The local cafe
All of the men drank either coffee or tea. Granted most of them were in and out of the cafe with drinks in their hand, but they are there nevertheless.
The cafe is a relaxing place for a lunch break. Bring a book to read or people watch as we drink a cup of heavenly goodness. Why would anyone go anywhere else for lunch? The smell of freshly brewed coffee is intoxicating. And we might happen to catch the eye of someone of interest, even if it’s on the go.
5. The dog park
Most of the men have a dog. They all admitted to feeling lonely at times. Having a dog helped fill the emptiness that sometimes arose. The dog park was the popular location for these lovable single men. It got them out of the house for a few hours and was a great exercise for their little buddy.
I don’t want us all to run out and get a dog. But since we are talking about it, there are so many little cuties looking for a nice new home. If we plan to hit the dog park for potential love, we are going to need a dog.
6. The bookstore
One of the men goes to the bookstore often. He is the super smart type who loves to read. He even admits to meeting a woman there once.
Why not check out the local bookstore or even the library for a new weekend read. If we are lucky, we might also meet someone who loves to read too.
Only a few of the men were all about the volunteering scene. But we shouldn’t let that stop us from thinking about giving a helping hand. There are so many amazing places doing good for the community.
Regardless of whether we meet a single guy at the food pantry or not, volunteering is a great way to give back to the community. There are so many options when it comes to volunteering. Find something local and jump in. The feeling of helping is super rewarding. That alone should make us want to dive in and help.
8. Friends of friends
Everyone knows someone who is single. Think about calling our friends and asking them to hook us up. It doesn’t hurt to ask. Chances are, there is someone single whom our married friends have never even thought about setting us up with.
9. The great outdoors
All the men loved anything outdoorsy and adventurous. None of them enjoyed staying home and watching television. Adventures included bike rides, hiking, camping, and fishing.
Why not try some of these outdoor activities to see if we like any. And maybe, we would meet someone while we’re at it.
10. Doing activities we enjoy
One of the guys suggests doing things that we actually love. That way, if we meet someone, it will be someone with similar interests as ours.
Like concerts? Go to see a band. Like sports? Go to a sports event. Like wine? Go to a local winery.
The key is to keep our eyes, ears, and heart open while we go through our day. See the beauty in the world. Listen to the world around us. And open our hearts to new possibilities.
We must not be afraid to make eye contact with someone who might pique our interest. He won’t know that we too are available unless we show him that we are in some way.
It’s okay to make the first move. Some men are scared.
There are plenty of amazing available men out there. They are all around us. I personally know plenty of them.
And they too are looking to meet someone just like you.