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Feeling not good enough is not always a personal reflection.
It’s not always the way we view ourselves.
It’s not always our baggage and trauma.
Sometimes, it’s the people around us. Sometimes, it’s our inability to believe that we are truly good enough. And, sometimes, it’s life itself that makes us feel this way.
Many times we think we are so close to our goals, we are on the right track, and we haven’t been sidetracked by all the distractions around us.
But then, life happens. People happen. Our own failures happen.
We start to dwindle back into thinking that, maybe, just maybe, things aren’t going the way we planned because we are not good enough. Because we deserve these setbacks. Because we should’ve tried harder. Because we don’t deserve the best in the world.
But that’s not true.
And it’s not one of those instances when people say they’re sad, and we ask them to stop being sad (ignorantly expecting them to turn off their sadness with a press of a button).
No. This is a simple reminder that loving ourselves and believing in our abilities don’t mean that things will always go our way. It doesn’t mean that our efforts will all be met by unhindered successes. This doesn’t mean that we are perfect and incapable of making mistakes.
Charles Bukowski’s words ring true every time I start doubting myself.
And maybe, I’m taking it out of context, but this is how I see it. This is how I understood. How I read it.
Even as we love ourselves, even as we are happy with who we are, even when we feel we are good enough, we cannot deny the fact that there will be times when we fail. Or maybe, it’s not us who are failing. Maybe it’s life throwing difficulties in our way.
But once we move past those difficulties, we’ll learn to love and respect ourselves even more. We were able to fight. We were able to survive. We were able to put on our armor and allow ourselves to fall at times but rise right back up.
And when we feel we’re not good enough, we must remember that nobody can take our love for ourselves away from us.
This self-love is ours to protect.
It’s ours to maintain.
And it’s ours to nourish.