View this post on Instagram
When we think of ghosting, we might instantly think of romantic relationships.
But it also applies to friendships, families, and even work relationships.
When there’s a connection and it suddenly ceases without any explanation, we could call it “ghosting.” A friend might never return our calls ever again. We might not hear from a company after we’ve met for a job interview. A person with whom we have an unexplainable connection might stop messaging or calling.
Although I tackled this specific topic before, I feel like I always have something more to say. Can we ever really say enough when it comes to being ghosted? I don’t think so.
We need to talk about it because our emotions matter. We need to raise awareness and rectify some misconceptions we have about ghosting. I’ve been there, so I know some truths that might actually make you feel slightly better.
1. You’re still worthy.
Unfortunately, when someone ghosts us, our self-worth is negatively affected. I still remember when I was ghosted before. I haven’t slept properly for several months, thinking there was something wrong with me. I thought I wasn’t beautiful. I thought I was worthless. And worst of all, I thought I wasn’t worthy of respect.
If someone has ever disappeared on you, you might feel the same, and it’s totally understandable. We think that one person’s disappearance dictates who we are. Bullsh*t. I struggled with my self-image for multiple years, but it took me even more years to realize that ghosting wasn’t about me: it was more about the ghoster.
If someone cuts off contact with you, it tells us something about them. They might not deal well with conflict or communication, but it doesn’t make you less brilliant. It might take you years to realize your own self-worth, and it’s okay. Give it time and don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault.
Meet new people, keep your loved ones close, and move on with your life. Eventually, those who truly appreciate and love you will show you who you are. Focus on those who are present—not absent.
2. The pain will go away.
Now it hurts; later it won’t. Unfortunately, the memory of ghosting will always stay, and sometimes clearer than ever. However, the pain will lessen and will one day disappear. We’re still going to be emotionally wounded, but it won’t negatively affect us as before.
Although I despise the time when I was ghosted, I’m grateful it happened. The absence (and disappearance) of some people has made me appreciate the presence of those who are around. It taught me the difference between those who choose you and those who choose to let you go. I also learned how to draw better boundaries and not let everyone in.
I’m sure it’s tough to look for the silver lining when we’re drenched in sorrow, but with time we’ll see it, and we’ll actually be grateful that that person is no longer present with us. Other healthy relationships will put ghosting into perspective and help us understand that not everyone is meant to stay in our lives.
Have you ever been ghosted? Share your experience in the comments section. Let’s spread some love!