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April 11, 2022

Living or existing? Which are you committed to doing?

Are you living or existing?
Have you asked yourself if you know the difference?
To me, existing is: merely just showing up with no dreams or goals that you aspire to achieve. You wake up, get ready for work, work, come home, watch tv, play video games, talk with your friends, etc.
While this might upset some people as they believe they are “living”, is this living? What is living?
To me, living is dreaming big and taking chances where you might fail or crash and burn or… you might fly! You might succeed! You might realize your dreams coming true!
The challenge with living, really living, is that it comes with risk. It comes with the risk of rejection, the risk of failure, the risk of losing it all. For example, 5 years ago, I took the chance of starting my own coaching business. I sold my home in Seattle, cashed out my 401K and moved to San Diego. This was my first time going into business for myself. I never thought I would do something “crazy” like this.
What happened was my worst nightmare… at that time. Today, my nightmares are so much bigger. At first, I was very successful. My first private coach told me I was his biggest success story! I was all “why do people say it’s hard to start a coaching businees? This is easy and I love it!!” And then, it got hard.
I have never experienced failure like this. I have always had an easy time in life. This took such a huge toll on my ego. I went into a spiral and went through ALL MY MONEY. I was broke; broke AF. And I was devastated. I didn’t know what I would do next. I went into panic mode and then almost ended up homeless.
I moved to the LA area with someone I thought was a friend. We ended up having a huge and vitriolic falling out. And I had to make a decision of staying in a highly toxic situation where I was starting to have concerns about my physical safety or jump into the unknown and see what I could create for myself. I jumped.
What happened next was a journey of bitterness and resentment. I was angry that I failed. Who can relate? My fear of failure and losing it all had come true. I felt humiliated. Ashamed. I had never felt so low and beat down. And who did this beating? I did. I beat myself up for this.
Instead of acknowleding myself for at least trying to do something amazing, I beat myself for failing… ON MY FIRST TRY.
Have you ever seen anyone talk down to a baby who is learning to walk? No. You probably haven’t ever seen that. So… why did I do this to myself? Because, that is what I learned growing up. That is the way I was treated and I continued doing that to myself. Crazy, right?
What I have learned since then is that everything is a lesson; EVERYTHING. Success and failure are both lessons. Success is a lesson in that if it works, keep doing that. Failure is a lesson in that if it fails to work, now you know what NOT TO DO.
So, what does this have to do with existing or living? If we are afraid of failing, we stay in our comfort zone. I call this the FAMILIAR zone because this is what is familiar and we know how to deal with life in this place. Living is filled with risk; whether we take chances or not.
So, knowing this, what would you rather do? Live or exist?
I have worked with so many people who got tired of existing and have chosen to live. One of my clients chose LIFE. I am in constant awe of her courage and growth.
What will it be for you? Life or existence? If you’re ready to live, send me a DM or post a thumbs up in the comments and we can talk about your dreams and bring them to life! Please also get on my email list and I will send you tips on how to make change in your life.
I hope you choose LIFE. What other choice do you have really?
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Brad Kenny  |  Contribution: 1,195