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I rarely get angry.
But when I do, my anger can easily escalate and become destructive.
Destructive anger is the one that breeds heavy, unwanted consequences. It could sabotage any kind of relationship or ruin an agreement, not to mention the long-term physical effects that could ruin our health forever.
The other day, I came across a quote by the Dalai Lama that I have kept in my notebook for many years:
“Anger, jealousy, impatience, and hatred are the real troublemakers; with them problems cannot be solved.” ~ The Dalai Lama
At the time, that quote helped me overcome the hostile emotions that resided within me after a horrible breakup. The truth is, we create our own anger. The fight-or-flight reaction that takes place in our bodies when we get angry is not within our control. However, even long after our bodies calm down, we hold on to anger as a defense mechanism.
At times, when we feel powerless, anger gives us power and a sense of control. We think that anger could help us find solutions. The Dalai Lama obviously disagrees and plainly tells us that we could never solve anything through hatred or anger.
If you feel angry, unruly, or mentally agitated, remember that mindfulness and compassion are the only way. Express your anger, feel it, let it out, but don’t dwell on it.
Communication solves problems. Awareness solves problems. Kindness solves problems. But anger…not so much.