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July 24, 2022

Is Ghosting a Form of Emotional Abuse?

It seems now every response in the dating game has been annotated a term.

Ghosting as defined by Google search comes up with “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing all communication.”

Is it ever okay to leave this way, abruptly, mysteriously, leaving all closure completely open to your own interpretation?

Is it cowardly? Is it unnecessary and rude? Has “getting rid of someone” become all too easy in this time and age?

When you share such a special romantic relationship with a partner, all your personal life and secrets, when you turn to them for support and you invest so much time in getting to know them, when you make an effort to understand and accept them for who for they are, isn’t it a kick in the teeth when they leave without a text, call, or message of any kind and you find yourself a stranger who apparently no longer exists?

All their promises smashed to the ground like a vase smacked off a table. Suddenly, the person you thought you knew, now you know nothing about.

It’s painful to realize that you can never speak to them again, and they refuse to answer you at all costs.

A man with whom I thought I shared a wonderful relationship ghosted me. I trusted him; I was there for him in times of need; I stayed on the phone with him for hours, giving him advice and being a great listener to him; I gave him a shoulder to lean on.

The last I ever heard from him was when I reached out to call him, and he apparently passed the phone to one of his friends.

This was the coldhearted, unnecessary way he decided to leave me, and wow, I never expected him to do that.

He never reached out to me again.

No apology, no explanation, he suddenly blocked me off everything…he ghosted me.

I believe ghosting is indeed a form of emotional, psychological abuse.

I felt worthless; I felt resentment; I felt like something was wrong with me; I felt I was lacking something and I was the crazy one.

My trust was bottom floor, my confidence to date again shattered, and I was so insecure, like I had nothing to bring to a relationship. I even felt that maybe I wasn’t pretty enough.

It was hurtful that he thought I deserved to be ghosted after the days, months, and years I was there by his side.

Ghosting affects your mental health by triggering feelings of abandonment and rejection and uncovering wounds from your childhood. I bet it can also cause anxiety and depression.

Would you think my ghoster might care about this? Not at all.

There’s a level of respect and kindness that we must keep. Having a quick conversation to explain or simply say you’re no longer interested is as easy as pie and will probably take a minute, if not seconds out of your life.

There is really no excuse for shutting someone out of your life with no closure and explanation.

Why do some of us think this is okay? It’s not okay to intentionally hurt someone and damage their mental health.

If you have ever been ghosted, never blame yourself. Don’t go over every single detail, trying to figure out what you might have said or done wrong. You did nothing wrong.

Delete all texts, do not read them back, and do not dig into more possible reasons. Pick yourself up, raise your head high, and know you are so wonderful.

Write a letter to your ghoster, create your own closure, and then rip it into pieces and throw it away.

You were simply dealing with an immature coward/cowardice with a major lack of communication skills and empathy.

So, well done, you! Thank your ghoster because you’ve just had a hell of a lucky escape.

~

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