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Calling all people-pleasers!
(Or anyone else who just can’t say no.)
I get it. Saying the dreaded no word—especially to someone we care about—is hard.
I’ve been there. Oftentimes, I’m still there. I couldn’t count the number of times I’ve said yes to someone when I knew I wanted to say no. Many of us are natural caretakers and have a hard time setting boundaries and putting our own needs first. It’s beautiful to want to help someone, but when we aren’t helping ourselves, it affects the people around us more than we know. Taking care of ourselves is taking care of others—remember that.
But still, I get it, we don’t want to disappoint someone by saying no or making them think that we don’t care about them. Of course we care about them. But if they care about you too, they will understand and hopefully even appreciate and trust you more for being honest with them and true to yourself. I know I feel that way when someone has the courage to say no to me. You go, girl.
But, there’s so much more we can gain from saying no.
And if I haven’t already convinced you enough, here are 22 reasons why we should start saying no more often:
1. Protecting and supporting your relationship with yourself.
2. Maintaining close relationships with others.
3. Accomplishing your aspirations and goals.
4. Letting people know what you really need.
5. Helping people trust you.
6. Regaining control over your life.
7. Allowing people to get to know you.
8. Getting fewer irrelevant requests.
9. Being more appreciated.
10. Being able to do your best work.
11. Enjoying what you’re doing.
12. Saying no for self-care.
13. Having more time.
14. Creating healthy boundaries.
15. Saying no to yourself.
16. Protecting your freedom.
17. Saying no to protect others.
18. Saying no to protect the environment.
20. Being treated with respect.
21. Giving corrective emotional experiences.
22. Supporting other people’s emotional growth and resilience.
Before you involuntarily say yes to something you know, deep down, you don’t have the time, space, or energy for, think about this list. Check in with yourself and what you really need first. Please.
But also, I think it’s important to note that we must understand when we’re saying no for our own health or we’re saying no out of laziness or fear. Helping others is important—and it actually strengthens the bond between others. But, if all of our time and energy is spent on helping others, how will we create the space to help ourselves? By saying no.
Say yes when saying yes feels right for you.
But also, please say no when saying no feels right for you.
It’s all about discernment and it always comes back to checking in with yourself and your needs.
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