December 6, 2022

You Choose your Hard.


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I’m a mother scared to bring my daughter up in this world.

I am struggling with the lack of responsibility humans are taking.

I am struggling with a failure not to judge, shame, or see more than one side of the story.

I am struggling with how we are still put in boxes rather than allowed to just be.

I am struggling with the labels that tend to separate us more than connect us.

I am struggling with how we don’t share our friends’ and families’ businesses and GoFundMe accounts because “it won’t get enough likes” but complain about “big corporations.”

I am struggling with the power of comparison being the thief of joy.

I am struggling with spending more time liking and commenting on strangers’ posts than texting our friends and family.

I am struggling with the lack of responsibility to own the things we can change and complain about and judge everyone else instead.

I am struggling with knowing that we all have a choice but instead we just don’t take action.

I am struggling with endless exercise, yoga, meditation, how-tos, DIYs, and learning online, yet not using them or complaining that they are “not good enough.”

I am struggling with how, once upon a time, we had to pay for everything. And now, despite everyone having access to things we used to wish for, we still complain and blame others for why we “can’t” do them instead of making the change.

I am struggling with the game of darkness and busyness.

I am struggling with trying to connect with others who say “I’m busy” or don’t respond but yet still scroll two hours a day on social media.

I am struggling with not recognizing how lucky we are to have people and resources at the tip of our fingers and yet still not using them, instead just scrolling by and saying they “don’t work.”

I am struggling with the numbers and algorithms.

It took me over an hour to write this post and yet someone told me it wasn’t good enough, despite them not even having to pay to access thoughts. I am struggling with the fact that this is our world, and the things we have to give—what others used to dream of—is no longer a blessing.

Because of our highlight reels, we forget that nobody has it easy and we are all struggling.

I personally believe it was hard living in my grandma and grandfather’s generation and my mum and dad’s generation. My generation was hard too.

And I believe it’ll be hard for my daughter’s generation too.

However, I believe we also need to realize how much power we have, how much we aren’t using, and what is freely available to us.

It’s hard living a life we don’t like and it’s hard changing.

But changing and doing hard things creates less suffering. Adversity and building resilience creates more strength. And connection and making time for what matters creates more joy.

So much of what we need to change is completely our choice. (And we don’t even need money.) Let us imagine a year from now:

>> You didn’t call your friend.

>> You didn’t work on your health.

>> You didn’t change your diet.

>> You didn’t get off social media.

>> You didn’t follow people you like.

>> You didn’t use your breath for mental health.

You stayed where you were. Struggling…

A year from now, your mental health and physical health have suffered. You feel worse about yourself as your social media makes you compare and judge and depletes your inspiration. Your relationships and connections are broken as you didn’t reach out. And now you feel alone.

Now imagine if you did all that starting from where you are—doing the hard work.

You focused on your breath, your mental health, and your physical health. You reached out to friends and family to connect too. You actively chose how long to spend on social media. You invested your time in doing things to better yourself.

And this time, the outcome is:

>> You feel stronger, fitter, healthier, and more joyful.

>> Your social media inspires you and lifts you when you lack motivation.

>> You have friends and family who support you.

Both started from hard, and both will be hard.

But one yields better tomorrows while the other makes your tomorrows worse.

You choose your hard.


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