We all know that self-love will transform our lives for the better.

But we seldom talk about that transformation—about what happens when we’re finally at peace with ourselves and the world.

That topic is rarely discussed as we tend to focus on the steps that lead to that powerful state. We know the how-to, but let’s talk more about the aftermath.

How will loving ourselves change our lives? How will it feel to be drenched in acceptance, gratitude, and openness?

I’m not an expert on self-love, but I know for certain that learning to love myself has brought me many benefits.

In my opinion, these nine things might happen when you start loving yourself:

1. Saying no without feeling guilty. Saying no used to make me feel bad, uncomfortable, and guilty. But when my self-love truly kicked in, I understood that I wasn’t responsible for how people felt about my no. If your no is gentle and makes you happy (aka comfortable), there is no reason to sit around worrying about how the other person is handling it.

2. Being happy alone. Getting comfortable with silence and the absence of other people requires us to be comfortable with our own company. If you are your worst enemy, you will keep distracting yourself with activities, pleasures, and people—and calling it fun. However, spending quiet moments with yourself will no longer be an issue when you embrace the things that you love about you.

3. Moving past your mistakes. When you learn to love yourself, you intuitively turn your wrong choices or mistakes into valuable life lessons. You understand that you’re not perfect, so you allow yourself to mess up without feeling shame or guilt.

4. You don’t make someone the center of your universe. You are the center of your life. Loving ourselves means that we spend a healthy amount of time with our friends, family, and partners without singling someone out. Focusing on one person and putting them on a pedestal might lead to hurt and disappointment.

5. Loving others in a healthy way. Before practicing genuine self-love, I loved too much and pushed too hard. I smothered friends and partners so I could fill the empty void in my heart. When you learn to love yourself, you give people room to breathe and space to grow. You let them enjoy your company without suffocating them with your unreasonable needs.

6. You stop blaming others for your misery. Your happiness is your choice. When we have learned to love ourselves, we take a long, hard look at ourselves before blaming others. We change our actions and thoughts and take full responsibility for our life and well-being.

7. Being generally more satisfied with your life. You practice an attitude of thankfulness and abundance, even when things don’t go your way. Negative or unwanted events don’t stop you from enjoying this present moment, for you know that whatever it has in store for you is precious.

8. Your relationships improve. Your connection with others will be genuine and devoid of anger, blame, jealousy, and greed. Loving ourselves positively alters our relationships. We may even find ourselves bringing more joy and abundance into other people’s lives without effort or stress.

9. Seeking peace. I know that I love myself when all I really want is peace and happiness. I steer clear of any talk, person, or situation that I know might bring drama, negativity, or unnecessary pain into my life. If you keep yourself involved in situations that make you miserable, you might need to check in with yourself.

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