September 28, 2023

Real Love Never Asks you to Lose Yourself.

real love

There was a time when I equated love with endless sacrifice.

When I’d lose sleep and, often, the very essence of my being trying to be the anchor for everyone around me.

Sometimes, it felt like I was drowning, losing my breath while trying to keep others afloat.

But here’s what I’ve realized recently: love shouldn’t come at the cost of oneself.


That was the game-changer for me. And not just physical ones but emotional and mental barriers that shielded my inner sanctuary.

If you’d told me years ago that setting boundaries was the epitome of self-care, I would’ve raised an eyebrow. But now? Now, this is my mantra. No longer am I the girl who cancels plans or skips self-care Sundays to drown in someone else’s storm.

This is why we need to talk about our innate desire to “fix” those we care about. I’ve been there, thinking my love and energy could mend wounded hearts. But I’ve come to accept that healing is a personal journey.

We can’t bear someone’s cross, no matter how strong our shoulders are. And it’s not about carrying their weight; it’s about walking beside them, ensuring they recognize their strength to carry it themselves.

The guilt? Oh, it crept in every time I put myself first. But let’s be real: we can’t pour from an empty cup. And feeling drained, depleted, and desolate? That’s no way to live. In this new chapter of my life, I’m embracing self-love, not as an act of rebellion but as a necessity.

There were relationships where I felt like I was constantly tiptoeing, scared of the next emotional landmine. And it hit me: love shouldn’t be a battlefield. When it’s more about fear than freedom, perhaps it’s time to step back. Sometimes, love from a distance isn’t about detachment—it’s about preservation.

I’m in my “I love you, but I have to love me more” era, and it feels liberating. No more heavy baggage, no more dimming my light. I’m nurturing my spirit, realizing that when I shine, I light up not just my world but the universe of those around me.

To everyone on this journey, remember: it’s about discovering who we truly are amidst the noise. Love, with all its beauty, should never overshadow who we are.

So set those boundaries, prioritize your peace, and know that real love never asks you to lose yourself.


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