“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled. There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled. You feel it, don’t you?” ~ Rumi

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Valentine’s Day, like most holidays, either brings delight, apathy, regret, or dread.

If we have a “significant other” and the relationship is going well, yea. Bring on Valentine’s Day. Roses, a special present, chocolates, cards with words of love, and a romantic dinner. If we don’t have anyone we are adoring and are adored by, Valentine’s Day can bring on a case of depression and dread like no other.

But here’s a thought. What if we look at this day as a reminder to place our focus on a different kind of love—regardless of whether we are in a romantic relationship or not? You probably know what I’m about to say.

I am advocating for the well-advertised concept of self-love. I don’t mean “self-love” in any kind of narcissistic way. Heavens no! Narcissists only see the world in terms of themselves and don’t have the ability to celebrate anyone else but themselves.

I am promoting “self-love” in the best and most needed of ways. It is the kind of nourishing love that embodies self-acceptance, compassion, kindness, and a gentler approach to living with ourselves.

It is the kind of self-love that is willing to shoo away our inner critic when it’s running rampant and not serving our self-esteem and emotional wellness in any way.

Just in case you need a dose of conscious self-love for Valentine’s Day (and every day), here are a few intuitive life coaching tips that have worked for me along the way.

Write a letter. A love letter. To yourself. If you only focused on your good qualities for a change, write the kind of love letter that speaks to how much you cherish yourself. Flaws and all. Humanness and all.

Look in your mirror with eyes of love. Not criticism. Not focusing on your pimples, wrinkles, and what society says is “beautiful,” but through the eyes of self-acceptance, appreciation, gratefulness, and unconditional love.

 Give yourself at least three compliments every day. What did you do right? What did you push through even though you were scared and anxious? What small acts of kindness did you do for yourself and for someone else?

Every time you advocate for self-love, give yourself small but mighty rewards. Did you stand up for yourself today? Show up for yourself? Forgive yourself? If so, it’s time to celebrate!

Buy yourself some chocolates, send a card to your best friend (you to you), and do a happy dance. Take a break from all your hard work and stop the world, put your hands on your heart, and simply breathe, be, forgive, accept, and self-love like your life depends on it.

Because it does.

For dessert, here are a few affirmations that work for me:

>> I matter.

>> I am my own best friend.

>> I am a champion to myself.

>> I am enough just for being and breathing.

I leave you with today’s “look within” question:

If you only spoke to yourself with pure love, what would you like to tell yourself?

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