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Dr. Blasey Ford, Judge Kavanaugh & the Sexual Glass House.

71 Heart it! Adi Kanda 21.2k
September 28, 2018
Adi Kanda
71 Heart it! 21.2k

Image: CNN/Youtube

Yesterday’s testimony of Dr. Blasey Ford offered a profoundly moving account, in particular the details of what she has experienced in the wake of her revelations.

As she mentions, the worst of her fears have been surpassed.

She has had to move her family out of her home and is living with death threats, email hacking and media hounding, under the constant protection of security guards.

As a society, we perceive this heartbreaking situation as a battle, a fight to be heard. In the fight, there are attackers and victims—bad guys and good guys.

In the fight, we name a precisely delineated right and wrong where each participant can only be one or the other, and our answer to the “wrong” is to accuse, blame, shame, and persecute the persecutor—with the idea that by destroying what we think is dark, we will find safety and an answer to our pain.

Within the duality of this fight, there are deep layers of fear and shame.

The shame of a woman who has kept a traumatic secret for decades because of the judgement she feared would be levelled at her, that her response would not be valued or understood.

The shame of a man so childlike in his awareness, so out of control in an alcoholic stupor that he objectified and attacked a fifteen-year-old girl without any concern for the impact of his actions.

The shame of a political party with conservative values rooted in the denial of feminine power, desire, and autonomy.

The drive of a specific political agenda built upon the need to represent this man as a defender of “justice” within a “justice system,” which itself is founded upon blame, shame, judgement, and retribution.

The delight of media and press that can’t get enough of our fascination with sexual shame—more fascinating even than driving by a car accident, or watching Youtube videos of people falling and hurting themselves over and over while we laugh.

Of course, Dr. Blasey Ford’s testimony must be heard.

Of course such attacks must be stopped. Any perspective which minimizes the depth of trauma in such situations comes from a place of denial.

But what is missing here—what is glaringly absent—is an understanding of the origins of this kind of hurt, and therefore what can be done to make sure fifteen-year-old girls are honoured and that high school boys are not raised in a way which deadens their own sensitivity.

It is a fundamental truth that when we routinely desensitize individuals of any gender, as we do with boys in virtually all cultures globally, they will not only seek situations to play out their own cauterized emotions but they will also attempt to perpetuate that buried pain by cycling it within societal constructs, indoctrinating their own offspring.

A man who has been taught to deny his heart has no capacity to support the emotional health of his sons. In fact, he will be threatened by their innate vulnerability as children and seek to crush it as a reminds him of his own pain.

The profoundly limited consciousness of our legal and cultural mores when addressing this kind of impasse is just as damaging as the circumstances of the experience itself.

When we make the Dr. Fords of the world right and the Judge Kavanaughs of the world wrong, and we stop there without any further awareness, we do both of them a disservice.

Imagine for a moment that we could somehow extract the presence of shame from this story.

Imagine if we pursued a model closer to the Indigenous approach to justice, wherein the purpose of the inquiry was not to defend or destroy either of the two parties, but instead, sit with loving families, friends, and community members in circle to ask, what went wrong here?

What created this cycle of hurt?

How can it be made right—not through vengeance, but through witnessing, giving back, unearthing the roots of these behaviours and truly awakening everyone involved?

One of the outcomes of such an exploration would be, for example, that the terrible pressure Dr. Blasey Ford is experiencing right now would be eliminated.

Those who seek to destroy her because of what she represents would have no reason to because she would not be a victim. If one is not a victim, one cannot be made powerless or discredited.

One can only be a player in the human theatre of an exchange which has occurred to remind us that the power of our sexual expression deserves to be freed from the toxicity of denial and fear, the fundamental cause of sexual impulses which mutate and become harmful to others.

We must begin with the understanding that when our own inner shame becomes too much to bear, it overflows as a leaking wound in a search for control, dominance, and ultimately that most elusive of needs: human love.

But this is mere philosophy you say, in a world where so many girls and boys are broken, where their purity and hope for sexual beauty is stolen before they have a chance to know it themselves.

No. In fact the opposite is true.

We are creators of our world, and the day each one of us dares to expand our horizons beyond the paradigm of shame, blame, and punishment, we liberate those very children. The ones who were hurt throughout history, who were hurt yesterday, the ones who are being hurt in this very moment as I write these words.

Every soul who finds this understanding within themselves is a gift to the critical mass of consciousness which is presently being pushed to the surface by a rising global tide of sexual wounding.

When a child cries, or an inner child expresses, we are present as we offer them an embrace of compassion, respect, and safety. And then we take this expression and hold it within a new paradigm of expansive wisdom which dares to rewrite the definition of justice by recognizing that there is no separation, and that we are one with all beings.

This is, in fact, the only way that the underlying disease of sexual shame and wounding will ever be healed.

At this time we need to be especially watchful of the temptation to appear liberal by taking a vehement stance toward accused perpetrators.

To assume their guilt because we must listen to “victims” without listening to the unspoken truths about what creates a perpetrator.

It is natural to want to associate with the good guys. To be righteous in our denouncements. To be “woke” in our awareness of what is not okay. But don’t be fooled—the desire to appear better than, to assume no darkness lives within us, our gender, our political party, is just another trap.

Further polarization is simplistic, and swings the pendulum the other way. Those who live in glass houses are advised not to throw stones.

And if you think you do not live in a sexual glass house—you yourself are in denial of the karmic history which flows through all our veins.

I attended a political rally some years ago, the one and only time, to support a friend. When candidates stood to present their policies, the primary points made within their speeches were the perceived flaws, failures, and weaknesses of their opponents.

As the candidates raised their voices in condemnation of their fellow politicians, the crowd thrust their placards in the air, chanting, “Shame! Shame! Shame!” at the top of their lungs.

This is our political system in action. This is, in our unconscious and ignorant ways, how we believe we will create a peaceful world.

Nowhere is this principle more vividly articulated than the daily drama which plays out around the individual we know as Donald Trump.

This is a man utterly limited in consciousness, whose mental health is clearly deteriorating, who wears the face of all we have not wanted to see in ourselves, in our culture, in our divisive and dualistic fears.

By all means, let’s find a way to remove him from a position of power, but let’s also be clear that he is simply a marionette, dancing as the strings are pulled by forces completely beyond his awareness.

This is someone who has become one of the most reviled men in the world, yet we will accomplish nothing by hating him—he already hates himself.

It’s time to tell a greater truth.

We are one with our persecutors. We are one with our attackers, with those who have hurt us the most. We are one with our lost innocence, and theirs.

In our willingness to witness the contracted suffering in one another, we invite our own liberation, and that of the world.

~

Adi Kanda is a Toronto based intuitive and teacher of vibrational mastery to conscious leaders. A published novelist, poet, playwright, songwriter, practitioner of cellular healing, and mother of three, Adi Kanda holds 20 years experience in profound energy work, releasing karmic patterns at a cellular level. Arising from a spontaneous intuitive awakening in January 2000, her spontaneous writings from an Alpha sleep state emerged into conscious transmissions in the forms of poetry, spoken readings, meditations and song, numbering in the thousands for clients worldwide. Many clients describe her readings as life changing and liberating beyond any modality they have experienced before.

You can connect with her at her website.

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71 Heart it! Adi Kanda 21.2k
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Adi Kanda Sep 28, 2018 9:00am

http://www.worldwithoutfear.org

chingacor Sep 29, 2018 3:14am

I’m in complete awe of what’s been shared in this article. Thank you Adi.

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:19pm

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I am grateful.

fperry2 Sep 29, 2018 7:02am

A novel and interesting take on our situation.

Mary Ann Rose Sep 29, 2018 7:51am

Simply, Thank You

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:20pm

    Thank you for your kind response Mary Ann.

monsher01 Sep 29, 2018 8:03am

Someday maybe more people will see the greater truth in everything. What an excellent, eye-opening read this is.

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:21pm

    Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂

queenbcreations143 Sep 29, 2018 8:09am

This article started out about the circus of Ford vs Kavanaugh and ended with a political stab at Trump. Unfit for office? Remove him as President? What do these stories have in common?! The writer is using this platform in which to project their own judgement and choice on the readers unfairly. Not all readers agree. Some are ikely to cancel their subscription to this site in search for a more fair and less liberal venue without

    germs40 Sep 29, 2018 9:32am

    I agree. This article left a bad taste in my mouth. I will be unsubscribing.

      Ward Sexton Sep 29, 2018 12:21pm

      Your very reaction should inspire you to stay…and learn. It appears that you expect everything to “fit” your perceived truths. Adi has as much right to express her perceived truths and beliefs as you do. It’s all good…and all of it contributes to a better world in the long run. Stay and help yourself and others to learn.

        Sarah Reintges Sep 29, 2018 12:39pm

        Excuse yourself, this author has tried and convicted Judge Kavanaugh. That’s simply not fair. Whoever does this has underlying anger perhaps about having been assaulted themselves, and some people seem to think it’s ok to use the Judge as their venting target. We live in a country where people are innocent until proven guilty. He has not been proven guilty. That apparently needs to be pointed out to the author …and you too apparently.

          Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:25pm

          Dear Sarah.. I agree that Judge Kavanaugh deserves a trial, and it is also true that I found Dr. Ford’s testimony very moving and believable. This article is not about guilt and innocence, but rather the potential for new ways to understand and address the root issues which have led to this heartbreaking situation.

            tozierpatriot Sep 29, 2018 9:11pm

            I find it hard to believe that young men are portrayed as being naturally sexually predatory, and women as silent victims. I was certainly not raised that way and I know that many young (and older as I now am) men have the utmost respect for women and for the sacredness of sexual expression and privacy. I am hurt that I am viewed as just another potential attacker, or that my presence minimizes the rights of any human being. This situation is much more a commentary on our social plight and the use of people (truly hurt or not) to further our own goals, be they political or otherwise. As a society we should be ashamed that any incident, especially one from, what, 40+ years ago should be used as leverage in this circus of government run by petulant adults. It is unfortunately a microcosm of how we operate as a society. All of life has become a competition for resources or power or fame. This is not at all morally acceptable, nor is it Constitutionally allowable! It is bad enough that our legal system has devolved into a game of loopholes and skillful attorneys, but to even throw out THAT semblance of justice in favor of a Kangaroo hearing at the eleventh hour without judge or jury should anger every American to their core. We should be calling for the heads of every member of our government who sits and watches this with impunity.

            But the worst crime of all is that WE have allowed this system to crumble at our feet and we cheer at the circus that was once dignified and respected around the world.

              Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 10:31pm

              As a mother of two sons I absolutely agree. It serves no one to paint all men as sexually violent and all women as victims.

            Sandra Santilli Sep 29, 2018 9:38pm

            Then why Adi Kanda, did you make the decision that Judge Kavanaugh is guilty and that Dr Ford should be taken at her word, although at this time she has no way to back up her accusations. You took the wrong approach on this topic and I feel that you have done a disservice to The Elephant Journal

              Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 10:28pm

              Sandra it is an opinion, based on their testimonies. I have seen other recent cases of accused men where I felt differently, but Dr. Ford’s testimony felt very credible to me, and I expect if there is an FBI investigation it will be corroborated. I agree with you that the hearing was not a trial. The point of the article was that we must find new ways to address this kind of situation, to the benefit of everyone involved.

                tozierpatriot Sep 30, 2018 12:29am

                This i not about feelings, but facts and evidence… and that from the distant past! Why was her experience not related a week earlier… or years for that matter?! This is why I said that the whole circus was orchestrated for political advantage. Mr. Kavanaugh has done nothing in the years since High School to make anyone think he is anything but an upstanding citizen and family man. How you feel about some conjured testimony about hazy events from 40 years ago is irrelevant and frankly dishonest. Would you destroy the life of this man, his family, position, and reputation based on what you heard a woman say at the behest of this Kangaroo Court? I surely hope your answer is somewhat more thoughtful than that.

                  Adi Kanda Oct 1, 2018 12:44pm

                  I would not have anyone’s lives destroyed. If you read the whole article you will understand that we are in agreement about that.

        Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:22pm

        Thank you Ward. I agree. Please stay and be present with the discussion. 🙂

    Sarah Reintges Sep 29, 2018 10:04am

    Elephant journal has just showed some very unbecoming colors. I can’t get over how betrayed I feel by this site wishes and we seemed so balanced.

      Ward Sexton Sep 29, 2018 12:22pm

      Your very reaction should inspire you to stay…and learn. It appears that you expect everything to “fit” your perceived truths. Adi has as much right to express her perceived truths and beliefs as you do. It’s all good…and all of it contributes to a better world in the long run. Stay and help yourself and others to learn.

        Sarah Reintges Sep 29, 2018 12:43pm

        Boldly prejudiced people need to be awakened to the unfair and destructive nature of the things they say. I point it out to the author, to you, and whomever else thinks this article is ‘inspiring’!!! It’s pathetic that so many people are ignorant of simply being non-judgemental until there is proven reason.

          tozierpatriot Sep 30, 2018 8:09pm

          Very well stated and in such a concise way. Thank you.

    Sandra Santilli Sep 29, 2018 9:34pm

    I agree. I strongly disagree with the stance the author takes that Judge Kavanaugh is guilty. The author can talk all she wants about sexual abuse, but not in the setting that Dr Ford is telling the truth and Judge Kavanaugh is guilty. Preach about the unfairness of sexual abuse, but not as it relates to this case.

queenbcreations143 Sep 29, 2018 8:10am

This article started out about the circus of Ford vs Kavanaugh and ended with a political stab at Trump. Unfit for office? Remove him as President? What do these stories have in common?! The writer is using this platform in which to project their own judgement and choice on the readers unfairly. Not all readers agree. Some are ikely to cancel their subscription to this site in search for a more fair and less liberal venue without agendas.

    Sarah Reintges Sep 29, 2018 10:00am

    I don’t associate with political websites. Elephant journal has really disappointed me and I don’t know what I’m gonna do about coming here anymore.

      michael mitchell Sep 29, 2018 4:42pm

      Psychologists around the world agree TRump is unfit.

      Sandra Santilli Sep 29, 2018 9:40pm

      I am very disappointed with Elephant Journal on this one. Must reconsider my subscription.

iruhrmann Sep 29, 2018 8:17am

there is only one thing i would like to add / change … you wrote ‘ a man who has been taught to deny his heart has no capacity to support the emotional health of his sons’ … please consider adding “and his daughters” …

I am a daughter, now 75, deeply moved by this whole situation … IHAR

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:27pm

    Yes, I completely agree. Daughters and sons.. we are all so deeply touched by this wound.

kbernish Sep 29, 2018 8:27am

So beautiful – thank you for this perspective.

Flora Angarita Sep 29, 2018 8:40am

THank you for shedding light into a place where so much darkness is attempting to deny the truth!

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:28pm

    Thank you Flora for your kind words.

Josie Roth Sep 29, 2018 9:03am

Wohoo! Nice!! Well done.

Sarah Reintges Sep 29, 2018 9:51am

Hold on, let me be sure I understand… Does this article… Am I reading this right… Are you saying… Have you determined That judge Kavanaugh is guilty?I cannot comprehend that this is what you mean to say. Please clarify?

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 10:35pm

    Sarah it is my opinion after watching the hearings that Dr. Ford was truthful. But the point of this article was to question the politicizing of an issue that is much more reflective of a deep, pervasive human wound, and to find new ways to heal without polarizing through shame and blame.

Magdalena Andrasevits Sep 29, 2018 10:01am

Outstanding enlightened observation and the very sad truth of many perspectives in the world today to take a side. When it takes truly going to the very foundation of asking who we are without the social, cultural, self limiting constraints to expand our awareness and understanding of one another without pointing shame, blame, good versus bad but to understand through the eyes and heart of love. YES, a new paradigm is paramount for all humanity. Thank you for writing such a thoughtful piece to share!

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:30pm

    Yes, exactly.. through the eyes of love. Thank you for your kind words.

Amber OConnor Sep 29, 2018 10:22am

How dare ‘Then Elephant’ made determination of guilt upon Judge Kavanaugh! How dare you. This is one woman’s unsubstantiated account. Most people would believe “something” happened to her. Hopefully most people also realise that not one person can verify this. Oh-so many young girls would have been caught up in situations which were tricky, to say the least. Dr Ford was not raped. She was not groped. She did not come to any physical harm. The level of “assault” she describes is at the lower end of the scale. As a professional woman with four degrees, she has had ample time to reach her potential. Her life was not ruined. But she and the Democratic Party have ruined Judge Kavanaugh’s and his family. Dr Ford’s testimony will open flood gates for men to be judged guilty. I ask you who is the victim here! For The Elephant to take on board what is clearly a very hot-potato political issue, now leaves me to Unsubscribe.

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:33pm

    Amber I am sorry you are considering unsubscribing. Please consider staying and being a part of an important conversation. I agree with you in many ways.. I do think that many men’s lives are being torn apart by unsubstantiated claims. In this case, I personally found Dr. Ford’s testimony to be extremely moving and believable. I did not write this article about guilt and innocence, but but rather the potential for new ways to understand and address the root issues which have led to this heartbreaking situation.

      Sandra Santilli Sep 29, 2018 9:46pm

      But this article was about guilt and innocence. That is the major point that came across to me.

        Amber OConnor Sep 30, 2018 1:16am

        Sandra, no matter what the article was about, The Elephant is not entitled to make such a judgment of guilt.

    Amber OConnor Sep 30, 2018 1:15am

    Clearly I am not alone in my thoughts here. The Elephant has made a partisan stance and formed a judgment. I thought you were better than that.

elenapezzuto Sep 29, 2018 10:23am

When we come together in ways of live and intelligence, and that comfort the thoughts that have haunted do many for so long we begin again and again and aagain to feel the deeply empowering medivine of self love,- the common bonds we share. In our times of despair are also fuel gor our healing In. our memory and perspectives hopefully upon waking into a new morning of our worlds consciousness snd transformation that understands that WE Are all connected and feel kne anothers joys/: as well as sirrows and despairs. ??☮️praying and working to serve to lessen my sufferings as well as uours/ and Ourss. BLEssings

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:34pm

    .. the deeply empowering medicine of self love.. I like that very much. Thank you. 🙂

carlaweakly Sep 29, 2018 10:34am

Wow, what a truth. This article said what I was feeling. Thank you.

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:34pm

    Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂

Jane Broccolo Sep 29, 2018 2:35pm

In 1978, I was raped by a stranger. In 1988, I wrote, “Rape Without a Victim” and sent it to the defunct New Woman Magazine who said it was too innovative for them. Rape without a victim because I suddenly ‘saw’ his beauty and his pain the moment he grabbed a rock to smash my skull. I couldn’t help but blurt out to him in that moment that he was beautiful, because he was, I realized. In that flash moment, I took responsibility for having unconsciously co-created with him the entire event. I had been practicing celibacy for the 9 months leading up to that night my car ran out of gas on the outskirts of Cheyenne. My imploded sexual energy drew him to me, as did the shame and the guilt that I, as a child, let in, in honor of the Church.
Great article! Thank you, Adi Kanda.

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:18pm

    Dear Jane.. Thank you so much for your powerful sharing. What a remarkable insight, and what courage you found in the moment. I honour you deeply.

tamsherownboss Sep 29, 2018 7:33pm

“We are one with our persecutors.” That requires a lot of quiet reflection. Great article!!

    Adi Kanda Sep 29, 2018 7:35pm

    Yes indeed it does! Thank you for your kind words. 🙂

mlorriemiller Sep 29, 2018 9:08pm

This is a well articulated essay that demonstrates compassion and the necessity of looking at the bigger picture for both individual and collective healing. I appreciate the importance of remembering and acknowledging that we all have a shadow side. Of course, we all wish to see justice prevail, however I loved that you shared the indigenous model of justice as a way for healing and awakening, which is world’s apart from our current polarizing justice platform.

    Adi Kanda Sep 30, 2018 8:54pm

    Thank you for your comments, and yes, we could learn a great deal from the Indigenous paradigm.

dion leigh Sep 30, 2018 3:52am

THANK YOU for this spot on article that speaks a truth I have been feeling ne for a long time now feel a truth I have been feeling ing for a long time now. I EXPERIENCED Violent sexual. behaviors for many years and it felt traumatic disempowering and shaming I never felt I was a victim thus never quite found appropriate support. COMMINITY AND COMMUNICation are keys. AS Khalil gibran writes in the prophet : we are all responsible for ones act. WITH gratitude , lea

    Adi Kanda Sep 30, 2018 8:56pm

    Thank you for your kind words Lei.. my heart is with you, and so many others. We are not alone, but rather we are One.

donalisa1846 Oct 1, 2018 1:09am

“Imagine if we pursued a model closer to the Indigenous approach to justice, wherein the purpose of the inquiry was not to defend or destroy either of the two parties, but instead, sit with loving families, friends, and community members in circle to ask, what went wrong here?”
“The shame of a political party with conservative values rooted in the denial of feminine power, desire, and autonomy.”
“By all means, let’s find a way to remove him (Trump) from a position of power, but let’s also be clear that he is simply a marionette, dancing as the strings are pulled by forces completely beyond his awareness.”

Adi – I find your article thoughtful, but contradictory in your statements – see above quotes. I, for one, did not find Dr. Ford’s story completely believable with regards to Judge Kavanaugh, but sensed some kind of damage from her past – whatever than may be and with whomever caused the hurt. What was sad to me was to see how many in that room were happy to USE Dr. Ford to further their own political agendas, and I personally find it disgusting that someone like Cory Booker who has his own sexually sordid past and lack of awareness, would dare to sit in judgement. Or Richard Blumenthal who lied about his service in Vietnam to further his political appeal to potential constituents. Or Maizie Hirono trying to drum up re-election funds for herself during the questioning, instead of respectfully listening.
Yes, Adi, it would be best for all to ask, “what went wrong here”?

    Adi Kanda Oct 1, 2018 12:52pm

    I am in absolute agreement with your thoughts about the political maneuvering, but of course we can only offer our own personal response to Dr. Ford’s testimony. It’s not a trial – perhaps the FBI investigation will shed some light. My point in the article was that if we were to take a different approach, it wouldn’t be about who is right and who is wrong. For the purposes of the article, I come from my own viewpoint which is that I find Dr. Ford believable. And if this is the case, what is to be done? How do we end up with such familiar stand-offs between women and men, and can we consider a new (or very old) way to let go of blame and instead ask what can be done to heal and reconcile harm?

Carol Bauman Oct 1, 2018 12:46pm

I would gently ask those who have responded to Adi’s article that they would unsubscribe, to stay on. Regardless of how this all plays out, there is a truth that was shared. Women are not heard, not seen in their authenticity. Haven’t been for thousands and thousands of years. On a consciousness level, this is beginning to change towards a balance of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. Trump, Kavanaugh, Spacey, Cosby are the most recent tools of Universal Consciousness to awaken this planet to itself. We, each individually need to awaken our own conscious selves to look and see what is in our Shadows. As a species, humans need obvious. We don’t as a rule, change when told in a subtle way. Thank you, Adi for your words.

    Adi Kanda Oct 1, 2018 12:54pm

    Yes! “We each individually need to awaken our own conscious selves to look and see what is in our Shadows..” Thank you for your thoughts. 🙂

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