Who else has ever felt disconnected from themselves and their lives—like something is wrong, or they’re not quite whole?
It’s common for many of us, especially those who were raised to follow others’ expectations regarding what we should do with our lives.
I used to feel this way.
As child, I was taught to do what adults told me to do, regardless of what I wanted to do. Failure to do so—even if behavioral expectations were unclear or nonexistent—resulted in yelling and other punishments. My earliest recollection of being shouted at for something I didn’t know I was supposed to do was around age two.
I was expected to get straight A’s in school and participate in numerous extracurricular activities, followed by attending college and getting a job I liked. But I was told that I the job I liked had to be an 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. office job in which I’d work for a large, reputable organization.
However, I loved energy healing and have always been intuitive—I grew up seeing auras, talking with animals, and knowing who would win sports games before they started. I discovered that I could change energy and make it lighter and flow faster when I focused on it. Even though I knew energy healing was my calling, the adults around me didn’t support me in pursuing it as I started high school and thought about what might come next.
This upbringing resulted in me not knowing who I was or what I wanted to do with my life. So, I spent the first 35 years of my life seeking to please others personally and professionally—and subsequently experiencing anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and verbal sexual abuse while pretending to be happy.
Seven years of visiting physicians and psychologists, changing careers, and taking personality and career tests weren’t helpful. After a few more years of soul-searching, I realized that the issue wasn’t me, it wasn’t my parents, and it didn’t require medication to fix. The issue was me trying to fit into a life that my parents designed for me, but wasn’t who I really was or what I really wanted.
This realization was liberating and terrifying. What would I do? Even though I had moved out of my parents’ house at age 17, I never really felt independent. I was physically in a separate location from them, but I wasn’t really free and living my own life. Consciously and subconsciously, I was still living the life they wanted for me. I felt like I had no idea how to be me and operate in the world.
That’s when I rediscovered energy healing. It helped me find the real me and live that way authentically in the world. After several years of energy work, I realized that there was no me versus my parents or the world—there were simply different choices, and I could create the life that worked for me.
So, exactly how did energy healing do this?
Everything, including our physical bodies, as well as our thoughts, emotions, and memories are made of energy.
When this energy is flowing smoothly, our lives flow smoothly. Traumatic experiences, limiting beliefs, and unresolved emotions cause energy blocks that show up as issues in many aspect of our lives—physical or psychological health, career, finances, living environment, romantic relationships, family, and friends.
Many of these traumatic experiences are from our childhoods or past lives. They show up in our present as health, financial, career, or relationship issues, so we can resolve them and live our lives the way we want to.
Every time I was yelled at as a child, my central nervous system was stimulated, and I felt anger and fear. So, for years as an adult, I was afraid to go after my dream career as an energy healer and intuitive. The memories of the shouting and the anger and fear had tangled my energy and kept me from moving forward.
Energy healing untangles the energy so it flows smoothly and we are able to proceed with our lives on our terms. Sometimes we know what these blocks are—hurt feelings, unpleasant memories, and limiting beliefs. Sometimes they’re subconscious. Either way, we must remove them to change our lives.
I knew that I had to let go of the anger and fear and memories of shouting, so I would be free to live my own life. I did that through energy healing; I worked on myself with my own techniques, Reiki, tapping, BodyTalk, and Access Consciousness—and also hired other healers to help me. This work helped me dig very deeply into my subconscious mind and heal there too.
Many energy healing techniques are available. Ancient modalities include pranayama and acupuncture. More recently, we have Reiki, tapping, and many others. Choosing a technique and a practitioner that you are comfortable with is very important. Interview the practitioner before working with them to ensure you are a good fit.
We all respond differently to energy healing. Even the same person may resolve one issue quickly, but need multiple sessions over a longer time period for another issue.
I did energy work for five years so I could create my dream career, and another benefit of this healing was that I now have a loving, mutually supportive relationship with my parents. I was determined to do whatever I needed to do to live my own life. It was very deep, intense, soul-level healing.
Truly getting to the bottom of one’s issues and permanently resolving them can take time—and unless you do all the healing work yourself, it can take a substantial amount of money as well.
It also requires an open mind and willingness to remember and feel the painful emotions, beliefs, and experiences, so they can be resolved. You must desire to change and also have dedication to yourself, your healing, and lifestyle changes. For example, if you smoke and want physical health, you must stop smoking and detoxify your physical body. Energy healing will help you let go of the beliefs, emotions, and memories that blocked the energy flow and led to smoking, but you must take actions to support the healing.
I believe it’s time and money well-spent. It’s an investment in the self—an amazing opportunity to get to know and fall in love with yourself. To totally accept, support, and respect who you are, and to live that way freely.
Yes, your life will change. It will reflect the beautiful person you really are—the person you always wanted to be. And you will feel like you belong in the world, because you are creating the life that fits you, rather than fitting in to someone else’s idea of you.
Author: Joslyn Zale, Ph.D.
Image: Unsplash/Sarah Gray
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina
**About the author: Since 2009, Joslyn Zale, Ph.D., has helped clients manifest what they want in their lives, from physical and emotional health, to career changes, to deeper connection with romantic partners. In addition to private practice, Joslyn has created group healing sessions and workshops for the University of Southern Mississippi and her local community. Visit her website, or connect with her on Facebook.Browse Front PageShare Your Idea
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