8 Ways to Take Responsibility for Yourself.

Via on May 22, 2010

8 Ways to Take Responsibility for Yourself

Taking true responsibility for yourself gives you back the power to create exactly what you want in your life.

This means that you must take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions. 

Taking responsibility for yourself gives you true freedom. By taking responsibility for yourself, and only yourself, you become aware of the true connection between your inner and outer world.  You are the one and only creator of your life. There is no one else to blame for what your life is.  When we take responsibility, we take back control of our experience.  Taking responsible control means that you understand the basic truths of the Universe, and use your understanding of your inner world to create consciously and respectfully through your actions.

The Gift of Responsibility gives you freedom, because it grants you true awareness of your power as a creator.

“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.”

~ James Allen

  1. Awareness is the first step to understanding that you create everything in your experience.  Every part of your life, good or bad, has a root somewhere within your mind.
  2. The truth can hurt sometimes, but by taking charge of the fact that you are creating your own experience, you can finally take control of what you are inviting into your experience.  Without the Gift of Responsibility, people do not realize that they are the creators of their own experience, and live their lives reacting to the things around them.
  3. To consciously create your life with responsibility, act, don’t react.  You may have heard that one of the definitions of insanity is performing the same action over and over yet expecting different results.  When someone reacts to what is happening around them without realizing that their attention to these things are just drawing more of the same to them, they see the same things, good or bad, repeat themselves over and over again in their lives.
  4. Using the Gift of Responsibility means that you may have to go through a period of change where you admit that you were causing negative or painful experiences to happen to you because of your thoughts and actions.  This can be hard, because we do not want to take responsibility for our lives.  We want to blame others for what is happening to us.  But nothing “just happens” to us, we create our own lives through our thoughts, words, actions and beliefs.
  5. The fear inside of us has been in control for too long.  Freedom is given to those who are aware of what the fear makes them do.  Fear is like a parasite inside of you, and it feels very threatened by the idea of freedom and of living with conscious awareness.  This internal parasite feeds off of drama, judgments, negative emotions and off of your fear of change.  If it can’t get these things out of you, it will have you “attack” other people with your thoughts, words, body language, and even with your physical body to get the energy it needs to survive.  Be aware of this fear parasite as you learn and grow in wisdom and experience.
  6. If you can become aware of how fear uses you to feed itself, you can overcome it by simply being aware. When you become aware of the choices that fear is trying to make for you, you have taken responsibility for yourself, and are one step closer to being completely free.
  7. The cause of our problems is not outside of us. We do not need to wait for anyone or anything to happen to change our lives. The beginning of change always lies within us.  By taking full and complete responsibility for both the roots and the fruits in our lives, we will change our lives for the better. To change the fruits you must change the roots. If you want your life to change and if you want less to complain about, you are going to need to change how you think.
  8. Awareness is the first step to creating change.

When you allow others to be responsible for themselves, you free yourself to work on you.  No need to worry about controlling others, their choices will always be theirs, no matter how much you try to scheme about how to make them do what you want.  There is more than one way to be on this Earth, and who are you to tell other people how to live their lives?

They are responsible, so let them live their own adventure, and you will become more free to live yours.

“I will not surrender responsibility for my life and my actions.”

~ John Enoch Powell

About Amber Dehn

Amber loves yoga, pancakes and going on adventures. A business and yoga teacher, Amber enjoys writing and teaching about such things. Learn more about what she is up to her website and on the Be Bold with your Life Facebook page.

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28 Responses to “8 Ways to Take Responsibility for Yourself.”

  1. Alli says:

    Love this. Thank you!

  2. TRiCK says:

    Such words of truth and wisdom as always Amber. Funny how we find just the words we need when we need them (if we are open to them). I just commented to someone I have feelings for: "what it comes down to is not what anyone else thinks of me. It comes down to the person I want to be and/or who I already am… bold, unique, and ultimately vulnerable!" It's not about how anyone else sees me it's about how I see me, and for that I need to live in a way that fully expresses my unique gifts and talents. Otherwise we steep in what we assume others think or feel about us, which ultimately gives our power to others when they aren't even asking for it. I choose to be concious of decisions I make, and to be humble and own it when they produce suffering. When others are rude or unkind to me I will not react, instead I will reflect love and humility. In these ways I will shine my light on the world and make it a better place when I leave! Thanx Amber Namaste

  3. Sarah says:

    THANK YOU… This is one of the best pieces of writing I have read. I will cherish it and put it into practice every day :)
    Namaste

  4. Amber Dehn Amber Dehn says:

    Thank you all for your feedback. I will be writing 11 more of these, pieces taken from a book I have written called The 12 Gifts. Enjoy, and have a great week!

  5. nancy says:

    rocking thx!

  6. Wonderful way to start the week! Thank you :)

  7. Jaclyn says:

    What a wonderful article. High five to you!!!!

  8. meves54 says:

    I just had a very wise person re define responsibility in a way that is positive as you have. I always saw my over whelming sense of responsability as holding me back from being me and having fun, no I see it as you have explained but simpler
    response i ability ( I have the ability to respond that is in a way that resonates with my soul)

  9. Jalil72 says:

    I LOVE YOU! THANKS!

  10. Lezlee says:

    Brilliant piece, thank you. Will be saving the page and re-reading as it is just the thing I need to remind myself ~ like another piece of the jigsaw that is almost though not quite snuggly in place.
    Look forward to reading your future posts :o)

  11. Dan Lewis says:

    I'm all for taking responsibility for one's life and actions, but I think this article is lame.
    I think the author should be ashamed or at least embarrassed.
    I simply think it was done poorly. Just my opinion.

  12. Andre Isakandar says:

    Just be a human among humanism;because we can't follow all people need-the US most help people all the world must give the way fro them self:resources FEMA Cases in New Orleans

  13. venusmiled says:

    I like this article, very much. It is written clearly and in simple language for those who may be new to the concept of taking back their own power through, "What other people think of me is none of my business" ideology.

    I once knew someone who told me that responsibility meant the same thing as blame. I think there are many, many people who belive this on some deeply ingrained, subconscious level and act from that place of, "If I never take responsibility for ANYTHING I think / feel / do / say, then nobody can ever BLAME me." It is the conscious understanding that owning one's beliefs and behaviours is empowering that frightens many, because then you have to own the outcome, as well… Remaining the "victim of circumstance" is MUCH easier and requires no concsious choices to be made.

  14. Actually…..this is not exactly true. If it were there would never have been need for the bodhisattva.

    In mindfulness practice you actually learn to see yourself through the eyes of others, which means, intrinsically, that they are in some way responsible for you (a true friend corrects you when you make mistakes, especially glaring ones) and you are responsible for them (it is expected you would do the same thing for them…..)

    To say that you should only think of yourself, is a way I child would view the world.

    "No one else matters, just me! I do what I want!"

    I know that is not what you meant to imply, however you have taken a sense of accountability away. If others are to be accountable, especially if they are to be made aware, who tells them?

    Children are told when something is wrong, or they would never know.

    You assume everyone is a mature adult with an ability to see the difference between right and wrong.

    This is not true.

    Example (a well used one) :

    My estranged wife, whom calls herself Mukti Yogini now, actually demanded forgiveness, though, as I pointed out to her, she had done nothing to earn that forgiveness. No restitution, no apologies, EVER, but the most unforgivable acts were repeatedly done by her hand.

    But she has been listening to and reading Ram Das, and Eckhart Tolle, and Wayne Dwyer, and Byron Katie and Rhonda Byrne, yet refused to read Cutting through spiritual materialism. All the authors and self help "gurus" she has read implanted in her that she should be forgiven, but not that she should also forgive, or even apologize.

    She wants it all, but wants to give back nothing.

    She is an aries fire dragon.

    Essentially, she is the child of children.

    The epitome of a child.

    And she would see what you have written as justification for only working on herself, as have many I have encountered in the new age spirituality game.

    Sorry to be the rain on the parade, but them's the facts of life.

  15. [...] provides for making use of my inclinations toward healing and coaching is to be cherished and, so, I take solace in the fact that experience, and sometimes lousy experience, is really the supreme tea…. Furthermore, I know that if I’m ever to be as good at this as I want to be, sometimes I have to [...]

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  18. 1styrdivorce says:

    We do not need to wait for anyone or anything to happen to change our lives. — This is a tough but invaluable lesson to learn and relearn. I spent years in a relationship that just wasn't enough for me because I kept waiting for him to change. He never did. I had to get up the courage to leave.

  19. amye says:

    I think this essay is excellent. Harleigh, it sounds like have some work to do. You are too caught up in your estranged wife. Let it go and then you will be free to take responsibility for yourself. Amber, thank you for this!

    Amye

  20. Kary B. says:

    I do not agree with this entire article..".Awareness is the first step to understanding that you create everything in your experience. Every part of your life, good or bad, has a root somewhere within your mind." So when bad things happen to you as a child, are you saying that it was already there somewhere, within the child's mind? I can see putting these things to work for you when you are an adult, to take responsibility for yourself. I believe the author should have specified these things.

  21. Aaron says:

    I find it interesting that the author gives the advice of "no need to control others", yet pretty much the whole theme of this article is (in my perception) "you need to do this" and "you should do that". Its all about 'you'. I find this piece difficult to read, and personally, I'm not following this advice. I am taking responsibility for myself by owning how I use my words. For more info, check out my article by clicking on my link above…Peace

  22. kelly says:

    nice and true. we should accept the responsibility with seriousness and then prove ourself.

  23. Tommy Gene Salazar says:

    Mind blowing on how much deep thinking we do in our lives. To seek answers, reasons, or is it just a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. I have been searching for the answer for years. And the whole time it is here with me. Stop worrying about what others say or do. I have morals, beliefs, and

  24. Please more of these. =)

  25. Hector V. Barrientos-Bullock Harleigh Quinn says:

    I actually like and agree with your comment. :-)

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