How to (re)start a meditation practice.

Via on Aug 21, 2011

Ever wonder how to begin a meditation practice? Or maybe rekindle a forgotten one?

Since I have an 8-year history of doing both, I consider myself an expert on this matter.  I’d like to offer you these really simple steps towards building your own practice.

Me, meditating like a motherf*cker.

1. Go to a new acupuncturist who asks you if you meditate.
2. Say yes.
3. Feel guilty that you either don’t or haven’t for at least three months.
4. Forget that conversation.
5. Remember it about a week later.
6. Check Twitter.
7. Check Facebook.
8. F*ck it, check Google+.
9. Look at your iPhone and decide to set your timer.  Seven minutes is good ’cause it’s probably longer than you can hold your breath underwater.
10. Close your eyes.  (Some say you should keep your eyes slightly open but I find that too distracting.)
11. Think of something you can repeat over and over so you don’t freak out.  I like to think of the words clear or God, but Justin Bieber will work too.
12. Marvel at your fortitude and decide you should write an article about this.
13. Remember how nice it feels to meditate.  And then wonder if you should get your hair cut.
14. Get excited when your timer goes off. You did it!
15. Repeat.

About Vanessa Fiola (Recovering Yogi)

Vanessa Fiola is a business consultant, artist, writer, and—after years spent teaching yoga—a co-founder of RecoveringYogi.com. You can find her micro-blogging at @vanessafiola or through her personal website, www.vanessafiola.com.Vanessa wants to hear your 5 things.

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20 Responses to “How to (re)start a meditation practice.”

  1. Wicked awesome. That's pretty much exactly what my meditation practice is like. Glad to know I'm doing it right.

  2. Tanya Lee Markul Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Great tips!!

    Posting to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

    Tanya Lee Markul, Yoga Editor
    Join us! Like Elephant Yoga on Facebook
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  3. Robert says:

    The "ape"-mind in progress , love your post!

  4. Jade Doherty says:

    Om Justin Bieber Namah

  5. Seven says:

    Google+ is such a zen-killer. I hope it follows G-wave to the wayside. As for Bieber…the new haircut doesn’t matter, it’s about his music. That being said, I’m going to go film my meditation session for my YouTube page. It’ll be something like this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBj1puqF3QI&fe

  6. Love it Vanessa! Been meditating a long time, but definitely have those days;)

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  15. Greg Eckard says:

    Enjoyed the humorous take!

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