Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.~~Marianne Williamson
If that’s true, imagine what a great fuck would do.
I (want to) believe in love, and I definitely believe in great sex. Unfortunately it seems there isn’t nearly enough of either in the world. I have this vision in my mind where men and women from every creed and color are gathered together on a hilltop, like in that commercial from the early seventies, except, instead of teaching the world to sing and buying them a Coke, they pair up, disappear, and go buck their frains out, in perfect harmony…
Before I continue, let me make this clear: I have no desire to contribute to the pool of pick-up artists. If you use sex as a weapon, if you’re trying to rack up numbers as a way of proving your attractiveness to yourself, if you use sex as a substitute for genuine affection, if you’re using sex to boost your ego at the expense of someone else’s feelings, these are not the droids you’re looking for; move along…
That said, if you want to have the kind of spine-tingling, goose bump-raising, electrifying, all is right with the world kind of sex, that makes you skip for no reason, not care if your boss yells at you, or if your car payment is late, there may be something here of interest to you.
I am an advocate for sex, and all things sensual, and intimate. This includes kissing, cuddling, foreplay, making out, making love, screwing, fucking, after-play, and everything in-between. But not just sex; great sex: the kind that curls your toes, makes you clutch the sheets, scream until you’re hoarse, leaves you cramped, dehydrated, thoughtless, breathless, not knowing where you are, who you are, speaking esperanto, throbbing with ache, and with a sex hangover that lasts for days.
Maybe I’m spoiled, but that’s what I’ve come to expect of my sex life, and I deem anything less than that, insufficient.
There are myriad challenges, some not insignificant, which account for this kind of sex being the exception, and not the rule. Not being in a relationship, emotional or sexual incompatibility, the stresses of daily life, time constraints from child rearing; the list is endless, and some of these things aren’t easily overcome. However these are obstacles worth surmounting, for one inarguable reason: great sex reinforces love.
During orgasm, your brain releases the chemicals oxytocin, vasopressin, and other endorphins; naturally occurring opiates which bond a memory to a sensation. They’re the same chemicals released when a mother nurses; it foments trust and strengthens the emotional bond between lovers.
Have no illusions: the best sex in the world will not fix a broken relationship, nor is it reason enough to become romantically involved. Sexual chemistry is a powerful thing, so it’s important to at least try to only form those kinds of bonds with someone you genuinely care for. Great sex is to a relationship as oxygen is to air, in that it is a necessary, but not dominant component. Prolonged exposure to pure oxygen causes brain damage, but deprive the body of oxygen for even a few minutes and you’d expire. Similarly, a relationship comprised of nothing but sex is ultimately toxic, but without it, relationships lose their fire and begin to die.
Screw world peace; is there a more compelling reason to become an amazing lover?
© j summers 2011
hot on elephant
July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. Mom, can I Call her Mom, Too? How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. Jon Stewart makes first appearance since retiring—”it’s not your country.”