Drugs, Relationships & Control. ~ Tyler Stroebel

Via on Feb 29, 2012

chumsdock

Welcome to: Tea with Tyler –– your soulful advice column.

Here is a recent question I received:

I hate it when my girlfriend smokes pot or does drugs. I don’t want her to do it. What is this?

The first question to ask yourself, what about this scenario bothers you?

Are you concerned for her safety? Does her personality change when she does drugs? Are you simply against drugs? Is it that she is breaking the law? Is it that she is having “fun” without you?

What does her doing drugs trigger in you? Fear? Jealousy? Sadness?

Once you know this answer, then you have a clear enough head to ask yourself the next pressing question –– Is this a deal breaker?

Keep in mind that people are not perfect, and neither are relationships. There will always be some kind of conflict or difference between two people. That’s what keeps things interesting.

Maybe she doesn’t change the toilet paper roll ever, or maybe there is no right way for you to communicate to her about her mother, or maybe she smokes pot.

What ever the issue, ultimately you have to decide what works for you.

We can’t force people to behave the way we want them too.

I would suggest getting real clear about what it looks like for you on your end of this, and then expressing that to her. See what she does with that information, and proceed from there.

Do you have any other questions regarding this subject or any other subjects?  Ask me at www.teawithtyler.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you for having Tea with Tyler.

~

Editor: Lindsay Friedman

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hi, I’m Tyler Stroebel, and I am Tea with Tyler. I’m a mother, wife, business owner, healer, and reverend, passionate about providing comfort in a sometimes uncomfortable world. www.teawithtyler.com is a free online soulful advice column.

About elephant journal

elephant journal is dedicated to "bringing together those working (and playing) to create enlightened society." We're about anything that helps us to live a good life that's also good for others, and our planet. >>> Founded as a print magazine in 2002, we went national in 2005 and then (because mainstream magazine distribution is wildly inefficient from an eco-responsible point of view) transitioned online in 2009. >>> elephant's been named to 30 top new media lists, and was voted #1 in the US on twitter's Shorty Awards for #green content...two years running. >>> Get involved: > Subscribe to our free Best of the Week e-newsletter. > Follow us on Twitter Fan us on Facebook. > Write: send article or query. > Advertise. > Pay for what you read, help indie journalism survive and thrive—and get your name/business/fave non-profit on every page of elephantjournal.com. Questions? info elephantjournal com

862 views

Appreciate this article? Support indie media!

(We use super-secure PayPal - but don't worry - you don't need an account with PayPal.)

Elephriends - Mindful Partners

190x1902-EJ-clothing

2 Responses to “Drugs, Relationships & Control. ~ Tyler Stroebel”

  1. Sara Serot says:

    This is a wonderful website…..can't believe it's free! Great advice and interesting subjects.

  2. True Story says:

    This is pretty much all that can be said about this issue. Ultimatums are perceived as insults to the other person's judgement. Patience seem to be the way to go about it. It can definitely weight on your shoulders a hell lot. Thoughts of break-up keep on popping up.

Leave a Reply