Why Seeing Things Differently Just Isn’t Enough.

Via on Mar 18, 2012
madlyinlovewithlife (away for a bit...)

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” ~ Marcel Proust

I have a love-hate relationship with this quote.  I love that it points toward deep self-discovery as a way to experience life differently.  But if “having new eyes” means “understanding or seeing” oneself differently, it doesn’t go nearly far enough for me.

My frustration comes from my own experience and that of so many people I’ve talked to over the years.  Maybe this will sound familiar to you: “I understand that I should stop the negative self-talk, accept myself, see myself as whole and well. But just knowing that hasn’t changed a thing.  I forgive myself over and over, but I wake up every day still feeling ‘less than.’”  But what else is there to do but keep trying?

The deeper voyage of discovery, beyond that frustration, is uncovering who you really are at the core of your being.  That is an amazing journey and it not only changes how you feel about being yourself, but it even changes how your life “happens” for you.

In my language, the core of who you really are is your natural “well-being.”  It is the kernel of energy you began life with, and it is a feeling of complete joy and acceptance of your unique way of being human.  So, why don’t you live every day with this feeling about yourself?

There’s this other stuff that you feel called “Learned Distress.”  It’s the negative feeling you absorbed early in life that says, “There is something wrong with me.”  This negative feeling gets stored in your sense of self, which is the engine that drives every moment of your life.

Learned Distress intensifies over time, so as life goes on, you feel worse or you feel that it takes more and more work just to make things go well. For the most part, Learned Distress overwhelms your natural well-being, so it feels harder and harder to connect to that place of self-acceptance and joy within.

Crashmaster007

Why doesn’t understanding all of this change it?  A researcher named Mimi Herrmann discovered that while your thinking brain is operating, there is a wall of resistance to change activated around your sense of self. The resistance to change is natural –– it is just protecting your survival mechanism, your sense of self.

But, because of this wall of resistance, just changing your thinking can’t change your sense of self. Hermann created a process that capitalizes on the time that your sense of self is open to change, which happens to be while you sleep, and it allows you to permanently remove layers of Learned Distress, so your natural well-being can expand to take its rightful place.

It’s interesting to hear what people say when they experience this deeper level of change.

  • “6 months ago, I would have lost several nights of sleep over this issue. But I just know it’s going to be ok. I’m not really worried.”
  • “I’m usually the wallflower at a party. But last night, I found myself talking to lots of new people. And I made some connections that are going to help me get my business unstuck. I can’t believe it.”
  • “I would normally put off this project until the last minute, because I would be scared I couldn’t do it well enough. But I actually finished it 3 days early and my boss said it’s the best work she’s ever seen!”
  • “I always just take the blame for what’s going wrong in my relationship and suffer in silence. But last night, I found myself talking about how I feel, and we had the best discussion of our entire relationship. For the first time in my life, I feel like I really matter.”

What’s more is that people start to discover their life purpose. Often, it’s something that they had never even thought of. (People often tell me that if they were to be honest, they don’t even know what really matters to them.)  Or, there’s that thing that they just thought was quirky or even wrong with them, but that thing ends up being what they can offer the world –– and just what the world is hungering for. Or sometimes, they know what their purpose is, but just haven’t found the pathway to fulfilling it.

What do the negative voices in your head say?  What feelings are you immersed in that you know aren’t helpful, but you just haven’t been able to change?  What might your life be like if you could replace those voices and feelings with a sense of joy in your own uniqueness?

~

Editor: Lindsay Friedman

 

About Sara Avery

Sara Avery’s passion is helping people uncover the energy that creates their story and the uniqueness of who they really are. In 2001, she transitioned from her first career as an orchestral violinist to guiding people through the deep transformation of Quanta Change. Quanta Change identifies Learned Distress (the feeling that “there is something wrong with me” absorbed in the womb and early in life) as the source of non-well-being. This unique process works with your brain during sleep to permanently remove layers of Learned Distress, allowing your natural well-being to become the source from which your life is generated. Sara’s clients discover a new ease and joy in life that they’ve never experienced—in emotional, spiritual, and physical realms. One client said, “I’ve been seeking for 40 years, and this is by far the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.” Learn more on her website or read more from Sara on her blog. Or, connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

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14 Responses to “Why Seeing Things Differently Just Isn’t Enough.”

  1. Rana Chang says:

    re-programming while asleep? sounds like a dream! i wish u and ur clients great support and success in this transformative endeavor :)

  2. Sara Avery says:

    Thanks so much, Rana! It's pretty fun to see how much work can get done during sleep. The founder of Quanta Change used to say to me, "It sounds like you need to get more work done. Can you go back to sleep?" LOL Thanks, again!

  3. I enjoyed your piece, Sara. I've featured it on EJ FB page: https://www.facebook.com/elephantjournal

    Cheers,
    Jeannie Page

  4. Sara Avery says:

    Thanks so much, Jeannie! I really appreciate it and I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!

  5. [...] the journey of yoga, inevitably, involves an encounter with resistance, when we navigate the world through the lens of [...]

  6. Harleigh Quinn says:

    This gives absolutely NO description as to what the process mentioned is.
    Am I the ONLY one that has noticed this?!?!?

    • Sara Avery says:

      You're right – it doesn't. :) A description of the process was more involved than I wanted to get in this article, so I left it at "works with the brain during sleep." You can read a more involved description of the process and the theory behind it here: http://quantachange.com/science
      Sara

      • Harleigh Quinn says:

        Thank you, however, that article has no weight if that is not included.
        Just reference for future articles. ;-)

      • Harleigh Quinn says:

        So, essentially, the message described is osmotic NLP.
        This is really nothing new and no discover has been made.
        It's akin to hypnosis, and that is usually only temporary, IF it works at all.

        I'm really not seeing the breakthrough here……

        • Harleigh Quinn says:

          Correction: I meant "method".

          • Sara Avery says:

            Thanks for the note about referencing. :) And – actually, the sleeping brain is in a different state than the brain in hypnosis, so working with the brain during sleep does produce different results that work done while awake or hypnotized. The theoretical and applied research behind Quanta Change confirmed that, as has the experience of many people who have gone through the process.

  7. [...] Life is simply too short, and ideas are simply too important, to avoid difficult nut-cracking and conversation sawing. The best way to build friendships and long-standing relationships that are truly constructive is to invite others to see ideas from different vantage points. After all, isn’t this part of what you love in others: When they help you see a truth in a new light? [...]

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