This is a person who will go to work early, stay late and work almost every weekend. Someone who’s married to their job is so emotionally wrapped up in their job that making room for someone else is not a priority.
People who are married to their job will once in a while get glimpses of being lonely. When this does happen, the desire to want to be in a relationship radiates so strongly that if you meet someone who’s married to their job you wouldn’t be fully aware how important their job really is.
Someone who’s married to their job will convince themselves (and you) that they want and actually will make time for a relationship. The problem, old habits are hard to break and for this person, they make it seem impossible.
This type of person will ask you to be understanding and patient, a lot! They will string you along by telling you that soon their schedule will lighten up, creating more available time to spend with you. Who doesn’t like a glimpse of hope to hang on to especially if you really like someone? Unfortunately, spending more time together rarely (or never) happens.
After a month or maybe as long as three, hearing someone who’s married to their job consistently singing the same “Be patient” lyrics becomes a song that gets old quickly.
A person who’s married to their job will also start to cancel plans with you last minute and move “normal” dinner date times (5:30/6/6:30pm) to late date times (8/8:30/9pm) because they are stuck at work. What’s even better, this person is not only completely mentally drained but also half asleep during your late date therefore never being fully present.
Being with someone who’s motivated and driven to be successful can be great, but it shouldn’t come between relationships.
Often when people put their careers before their significant other, it’s a strong indication that they are emotionally unavailable, using their job to “hide behind” in order to not get emotionally attached to anyone. Someone who’s married to their job would never admit or take ownership of their lack of availability because they aren’t aware of their emotional detachment to it.
Everyone can “be busy.” When you care about someone, you will figure out a way to make time for them.
Bottom line: it’s better to be with someone who works to live not lives to work. At the end of the day you should want to be with someone who’s wrapped around you versus wrapped around their job.
editor: Greg Eckard
Stephanie Bailey has been writing books on relationships since 2003 and just began her blog Miss-Reflections in November of 2011 which is a mixture of relationships and life experiences. Visit her blog to learn more: https://www.missreflections.posterous.com