This is difficult.
This isn’t a post about how to breakup. This is a post about how to put one foot in front of the other after it’s done. It’s about how to move on with your chin held up high. This is about letting go of fear.
Ask yourself: What could be possible?
The answer: Anything.
I can’t promise you a lot of things but I can promise you this… There will be moments when you want to run back the other way, dive your head into his chest, inhale that familiar scent and whisper the words, “Let’s make it work.”
But don’t do this out of fear. Only do it if it comes from a place of love.
Remember that scene in Eat, Pray, Love when Elizabeth e-mails David from Italy to put a close to their relationship? She reminds him of the time that he told her they should spend their lives together, miserable, but happy not to be apart. She tells him that ruin is the road to transformation. This is the conclusion she had come to. This is how she tells him goodbye. Ruin is the road to transformation.
When the foundation cracks, it won’t be long before the walls tumble down. When life is in ruins and you’re at the very bottom of the rubble…anything becomes possible.
Once you stand up you may feel dizzy. You will feel a sudden urge to rebuild what once was—but there’s a reason you let it crumble, isn’t there? Is there something you’re not yet able to admit to yourself? Some truth that you know subconsciously to be at the root of the fall?
Throw out his toothbrush. Do it. He won’t be needing it anymore.
The only reason you hold on to it is because maybe…maybe you’ve made a mistake. Maybe things will go back to how they were. But you haven’t. And they won’t. You must do it. Throw it out. Now.
That can be enough for day one. Don’t get too ahead of yourself though—no need to burn any belongings. Don’t throw out photographs—memories are to be cherished. You love this person, very deeply. They’ve helped you grow. They are one more person on the path of this crazy life that you will live for many, many years I hope. All is not lost.
What is possible?
“So miss him. Send him love and light every time you think about him and then drop it. You’re just afraid to let go of the last bits of him because then you’ll really be alone, and you are scared to death of what will happen if you’re really alone. But here’s what you gotta understand: if you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open space—a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in—God will rush in —and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed.”
~ Richard to Liz in Eat, Pray, Love
Throw out his toothbrush. And then maybe go to Bali.
Editor: Lynn Hasselberger