Don’t Like Crazy? Find a New Planet.

Via on Jan 17, 2013
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roblindsayphotos.com

I just tossed a fifth of gin

Now I’m going to dizz knee land

I just got cuffed again

Now I’m going to dizz knee land

Shot my gun into the night

I’m going to dizz knee land

I just saw a good man die

I’m going to dizz knee land. ~ Dada

I wrote this post five years ago. I’ve pulled it from my private collection.You’ll know why.

My lame joke about guns and holsters for all occasions may soon  become reality. America has noticed an insanity problem. America has declared it will not give up its guns. The discussion is on the table.

There are no statistics here on the prevalence of pharmacueticals prescribed for anxiety and depression nor statistics on gun sales. I took no opportunity to rail about the challenges of adapting to a technological and potentially isolated life. Or maybe I just did. Guns are now allowed in our parks.

From the archives of the Journal Pages 2008

I heard the news today oh boy. The NRA is putting pressure on Disneyland. Employees should carry concealed weapons to work. It seems those employees put their lives on the line every day. As a person who has an unhealthy horror of anything plush or otherwise with an over-sized head or hands I can see that.

Once a week I teach at a tennis club. It’s a diverse crowd and I saw an opportunity for real growth last week when I brought up the NRA concern. I instigate where I can. There are so many opportunities for us to dislike each other but we don’t which is a great accomplishment.

Someone added that the NRA is pushing to allow concealed weapons permits at all national parks and though she didn’t seem too concerned a couple of college students gasped in horror. An older woman known for her terse and take no prisoners attitude snapped,

“Well it’s supposed to be a free country. We should be able to do what we want. In the old West everybody wore a holster and had guns right on their bodies! I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

I made a bad joke about the opportunity for marketing guns and holsters to suit a modern woman’s changing wardrobe needs.

I imagined getting pulled over by the police for a bad tail light and getting a ticket for not wearing my seat belt but the weapon would be allowed. In fact I could wear my gun to a bar, get drunk and stagger down the street as long as I didn’t get in my car and drive. For that matter I could get in my car and drive with an arsenal of prescribed drugs in me as long as I wasn’t carrying pot. But I digress.

 

In 2003 in the state of Tennessee there were about 217 requests for concealed weapons permits and in 2007 that increased to about 217,000 requests. They have a gun, I need a gun or maybe they have a gun and why shouldn’t I? I live in the South and there is a sense of entitlement to guns that we didn’t share in the general non criminal population of New Jersey. I have friends who have guns and as I write this I’m wondering why I am friends with people who believe it’s good to have guns but I’ve gotten used to it. I should heed the words of my Nana who once admonished me for dating what she saw as a loser,

You can get used to anything, even a wart at the end of your nose.” A woman of impeccable appearance, this curse was avoidable as anything could be cut out or off or made reasonable with the help of a plastic surgeon.

Still, there is a peculiar poetry to the insanity in the South which both disturbs and pleases me. I unlike the Chinese who recently issued a statement that mentally ill people would not be allowed at the Olympics have come to expect unreasonable behavior.

The Chinese have whole cities devoted to making products like mattresses. In a mattress city the country folk are imported to work and in return they are fed and crowded into small apartments where they live on top of each other. How crazy is that? Aren’t you harvesting crazy people? How can people who have cities like this talk about mentally ill people?

And how will they know who is mentally ill anyway?

If you’re not drooling and screaming perhaps something in your toiletries kit will offer the information they need. Anti-psychotic drugs are widely distributed as are drugs for depression. And then there are drugs for general anxiety and drugs for pain or sleeplessness that have the side effect of making one wild eyed. Are you going to keep out right wing folk singers?  How about Jews for Jesus? People who chain dogs in their fenced in yards?

And who would fill all those seats? I would consider about a third of the people I know more than a bit off. My husband and I had three people to dinner the other night and two of them were barely orbiting the planet while I have automated voice turrets. Anytime any automated voice addresses me I go crazy with verbal assaults. I am the most reactive yoga teacher ever and worse still, I don’t care, I delight in it. So what do you expect China?

Will it be okay to carry concealed weapons into the Olympics? How about Capitol Hill? Why not?

That’s all.

About Hilary Lindsay

Hilary Lindsay created the first comprehensive yoga program in the NFL with the Tennessee Titans, choreographed videos for athletes, introduced yoga and meditation to the Nashville public school system and continues to work one on one with private clients including the Nashville Predators. She has been covered by popular magazines and television shows and has worked for a variety of publications as a yoga expert. She authored a chapter in Yoga In America, a book published at the forefront of the discussion among yoga teachers about contemporary yoga in America. Additional writing can be found at www.bitchinyoga.wordpress.com as well as the Journal pages of her yoga site. Hilary teaches classes and workshops in consciousness through movement. Her medium is yoga. Her method is exploring the language of the body in light of the eight limbs. Find her at activeyoga.com.

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10 Responses to “Don’t Like Crazy? Find a New Planet.”

  1. Anne Falkowski Anne Falkowski says:

    Hillary this is amazing, intelligent, true, sad and funny all at the same time. Thank you.

  2. Thanks for getting right there with me Anne. I started to write something new but somehow it seemed I had to put this up first because look at the trajectory we're on! Sometimes you have to look back. All the best to you…

  3. Clotn says:

    Right on Hil!

  4. neil says:

    Very, very judgmental. Especially about the southern folks.
    Are you sure you are a yoga teacher?

    • Judgemental, yes. I have strong opinions.
      I love the way eccentricity manifests in the South. It's the stuff of Southern writers and while much of the country has become homogenized, the South still has a strong flavor which I greatly appreciate.
      This post took a strong stance on our relationship to guns and the discussion of insanity. I posted it now to make the point that we are no further in clarifying our position on guns or on what constitutes insanity then we were five years ago.

  5. Well done, Hilary! Love your sense of humor and the utter craziness about our relationship to guns. How about guns in yoga? Now that could get interesting… Might need two for balance.

    • Yes I am aware of the discussion. Thank you for adding to the talk. Sometimes we say that this is just the way it is. And sometimes we say, we will change the way it is because it could be better. I don't use a gun to kill my food and I could not imagine pulling a trigger to kill a foe but I do realize that is not the case with everyone. I understand keeping a rifle to shoot a rabid skunk or scare away an intruder or hunt for dinner but the rest of it eludes me. It doesn't matter how many people think more guns are the answer, I may be a dreamer but the world I'm dreaming up is not armed.

      However, this tongue in cheek post was pointing out that determining who is crazy and not is the real topic. And if we cannot tell who is trustworthy when angry or confused with a weapon in their hand we might do well to ask for measures that protect us from ourselves.

  6. Sherry says:

    I live in a rural area and have always been impressed by how frightened (unless they have been through intense desensitization training) the animal world is just by the sound of gunshot. Always envy their sense for our lesser species.

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