Stuff Your Stupid, Uplifting Blog Post. ~ Maggie McReynolds
Photo: Unfurled
Sometimes, I get really tired of uplifting blog posts.
Or motivational quotes. Or inspiring stories of people triumphing against all odds. Or pictures of animals hugging each other.
Sometimes, I just want to be in a thunderously bad mood, all right?
Sometimes, I want to be a toddler having a tantrum; I want to stomp my foot and pound my fists against the floor, and scream, “It’s not going to be okay, it’s not it’s not it’s not!”
I refuse to be cheered.
I won’t breathe deeply, or imagine my ethereal higher self cradling me—in fact, just the thought of imagining that makes me want to run head-first into a wall.
I don’t want to chant forgiveness mantras or hug a freaking rhododendron. I will not be assuaged, damn it! Stuff is seriously sucking around here and I demand my right to be pissed off about it!
So you know what I do? I go right ahead and get pissed off.
I stomp around. I eat something ridiculous like cold leftover pizza for breakfast (because I’m too irritated to be gluten and lactose-intolerant, okay???). I cry, I play online Scrabble, I hide under the covers and sleep.
And sometimes, allowing myself to feel exactly what I’m feeling moves me past the fear and the anger and the despair and the suckishness way faster than any meditation session or motivational pep talk ever could.
When I allow myself to feel what I am feeling—even when I’m not proud of what I’m feeling—I make room for those feelings to change.
And then, sometimes, I find that after having that tantrum or hiding in mindless media marathons or eating stupid stuff, I pop out the other side, and boom, just like that, I’m calm and positive and in a good place again.
Sometimes, I find that I end up writing an uplifting blog post after all.
Damn it.
Maggie McReynolds is an award-winning writer, certified life coach and writing coach who helps clients with real or perceived limitations break through to create lives of meaning, fulfillment, and joy. She specializes in helping both writers and non-writers find their authentic “voice” and create compelling content and manageable writing routines that don’t suck, as well as in life, love and career coaching.
~
Assistant Ed: Kate Konieczny
Ed: Bryonie Wise
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LOL. This is so true. I do this sometimes too
I don't think it's possible–or even healthy–to be uplifting ALL the time. The fastest way from here to there is often straight through, no matter how icky!
Somebody needs to turn their frown into a crown. When I feel like a lemon, I like to go drink a glass of nice lemon aid.
Lemonade, Scrabble, we've all got our ways of coping with inevitable mood downturns. You might have missed the point of the blog, which is that I *do* work my way out of bad moods, when I give myself permission to feel them. Thanks for commenting!
We all think it but didnt say it, so… Thanks!
You're welcome, Susan! I think especially in "enlightened" circles, we can feel guilty about not being continually positive and upbeat. The downturns are inevitable–it's how we weather them and whether we can bounce back that counts.
We all do it! Marathon chocolate binging, mindless facebook games, or just plain old "getting into a funk" as my grandmother would have said! Thanks for reminding me that "the only way through my feelings…is to let go of my feelings!" Thanks!
One of my favorite quotes (and I'm only a little embarrassed to say that it's one of my own) is "making peace with what is makes space for what's next." Sometimes the best way for me to make peace with yucky stuff is to just be with it!
Thank you!!! Love it.
Thanks, Kris!
It's difficult to remember this in the age of relentless positivity! Thanks, Maggie.
Relentless positivity! Yes! Exactly what I was talking about! : )
NICE… Damn it!
ROFL! Thanks, Martha!
This is so, so true – I shocked a client the other day by telling her a road rage story. Apparently she thought I sit in lotus position and ommm all day…
OMG, Christa, you mean you don't? I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. : )
Oh man I struggle with this mightily, esp around the holidays, esp around friends and family I don't see all the time. I find stomping to be very effective, too. I also find it helps having at least one person you can vent to who understands it's nothing you want to hold on to (and therefore doesn't want to bring it up after you're over it)–took me YEARS to figure that out!
Thanks for keeping us real, Maggie!
Also, @Christa–you DON'T sit in a lotus position and omm all day? I am so confused…
So important to allow ourselves to feel what we feel – both positive and negative emotions. If we shut off the pipeline to one, we also shut of the pipeline to the other. Great post Maggie.
Yep, Laurie. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly–it's a complete package!
I have done this! Gave myself permission to feel the crapiness of it all for 24hrs and then got on with it.
You sound like you take great care of yourself, Kaybea. Kudos!
Always figured the problem was around the labels of 'good' or 'bad' feelings, then the feelings themselves. Whatever truth you are experiencing is the one you are experiencing and resisting it instead of simply letting it flow is what keeps us hung up, and strung out. Thanks for sharing. xoxo
Love this, Gail. We tell our children it's okay for them to feel what they feel, but we don't always give the grown-ups the same permissions. Great observation about leaving the labels behind!
This is a great post and so true! Often when I let myself feel exactly what I'm feeling there is an amazing wealth of insight that surfaces! Hidden in all that anger and frustration is often a truth that I hadn't been willing to acknowledge (you know, I really, really don't want to go to that party!). Thank you for sharing.
Positive thinking is great–but only when it's authentic. And I learn way more from my struggles than I do from my bliss. Thanks, Carolyn!
completely agree. And sometimes it's OK to be a brat & throw a tantrum – as long as you're not hurting anyone else. I think it's good to express emotions.
A well-placed tantrum really clears the air. I just make sure I'm alone first!
Absolutely!! I find that when I try to pretend like I'm not pissy, or stuff my "bad" feelings down, it ends up taking wayyyy longer for them to go away, and is much more torturous in the process. Gotta get the toxins out!
Ohhhhh yes. I wasted a lot of my early adulthood putting on a happy face. There's a time and a place for that, but there's definitely a time and a place for a little foot-stompin', too. Thanks, Lynn!
Not afraid to cry. Out of anger, not just grief or compassion.
It does scare some people off.
I've always been a crybaby.
As an old lady, I don't give a crap what others think of that anymore.
I cry when I'm angry, too. It didn't serve me well in corporate settings, but I hated working in corporate settings, so that took care of that! : )
Oh, at work the situation is different for me, too.
But, in such a situation, the closest I'd ever come to being in "Corporate America", I found I could not afford to be above office politics.
Served me well later when that particular company folded and the IRS came a-knockin'
I'd had over 100 pages of evidence …
Good for you! You don't sound like a crybaby to me–I hear some serious personal power!
Absolutely agree…sometime ya just gotta feel what ya feel, have that tantrum and then move on. But, the key is NOT getting stuck in that tantrum place, as many of us are prone to do. Love your writing!!
Carrie
Thanks, Carrie. Nope, I find the best way not to get stuck in a tantrum is to give myself in to it: for a limited period of time, anyway. If I'm not fighting it, it lifts much more quickly than if I had a bunch of shoulds and judgments about it, I think.
Awesome!
Thanks, Jill!
You had me at f*#@ing rhodedendron. Applause! THANKS FOR WRITING SOMETHING REAL!!!!
LOL! Thanks, Rachael!
Perfect for the New Year – thanks!
Thanks, Joanne!
I LOVE THIS. Great writing!
Thanks, Andi!
"even when I’m not proud of what I’m feeling" — This line really struck me. As soon as I feel that I'm not proud of what I'm feeling, I'm enveloped in shame over it and in comes the resistance. That seems to be taking it way too far. Not proud doesn't have to equal shame. It can simply mean not proud. It's neutral. Thanks for inspiring me to see that!
Absolutely. I am not PROUD of feeling depressed–but I'm not ashamed of it, either. It's just an is. Thanks for sharing, Emily.
ATT (Adult Temper Tantrums)
Love it, you're a great writer!
I love "ATT", Heidi! You're pretty darn creative your own self! : )
I'm going to pat this article in a prominent place in my home. Then, when I'm pissed I will just point to it and stomp off….may just save my husband some heartache.
. Thanks fer being real.
You're really really welcome! : ) P.S. as long as you remember hubby gets to be in a crappy mood, too!
Love it.
: ) Thank you!
LOL i thought that is what meditation is all about, allowing yourself to feel however you are feeling and watching your thoughts and feelings without judging them, just accepting that that's what is happening (or you are doing) right now. there's a difference though, i think, between feeling what you are feeling, and reacting to those feelings in some way (which in many ways, like eating junk, watching mind numbing television, drinking, doing drugs, etc is actually an attempt to get away from that feeling by distracting us with something that makes us temporarily feel good .. and actually get us (me) further away from feeling what im feeling..)
nice post! i like!
Sometimes observing my feelings is a great way to work through them/past them. One of my favorite meditations is to imagine each of my thoughts/emotions and sticks in a river, passing in front of me. I can sit and watch them, see them, note them–without engaging with them, without wading into the river and beating myself over the head with them, or poking myself in the thigh. In those meditations, I don't try to stop the thoughts/feelings, anymore than I try to wade into the river and stop the current and its flotsam.
And then, other times, allowing myself to feel what I feel AND react, albeit regressively or dysfunctionally, is exactly what moves me past it. Gotta be a short-term deal, though. One day, one night, maybe. Otherwise, it's not living with the feeling, it's wallowing and starting to make a little nest inside there.
Thanks for the comment!
You've gone & done it – made me smile – once again. Thanks Maggie!
Smiling back! You're welcome!
[...] We hear a lot of talk about reaching for bliss. Striving for bliss. Achieving bliss. Why is bliss so elusive? I mean, we all want to be blissful, right? But many of us have had that feeling that bliss is just too far out there. It’s like it’s unobtainable. Or, screw it, I just don’t feel like reaching today. [...]
[...] [...]
Bravo Maggie! I also like to indulge in a little conscious complaining (and tantrums) every now and then.