10 Tips to Mend Your Broken Heart Before Valentine’s Day. ~ Renee Baribeau

Via on Feb 12, 2013

Heart Broken

As a lifestyle coach to the rich and famous, I have learned that no one escapes a broken heart.

As sure as we are born, and as sure as we die, human experience includes surviving the loss of love.  Loss is inevitable, but as the Dalai Lama says, the bitter pain of separation, anger and depression are emotions that can teach us important lessons.

Valentine’s Day is the time of year when red hearts and roses can intensify feelings of loneliness.

Below are a few tips which may help in healing your broken heart. You will survive.

•  Surrender

Disco singer, Gloria Gaynor, voice behind “I Will Survive,” belted out, “At first I was alone, I was petrified, and I kept thinking I could never live without your love.”

The truth is you can, and you will, but the how of it is up to you. Surrendering to lost love is the first step in the process of healing. From my vantage point as a coach, I see that most unhappiness in life is caused by an inability to imagine that we deserve better. Start the healing process by admitting to yourself that the relationship was not working.

Acceptance

Admitting that the relationship is over is like scaling Mount McKinley, which can be a treacherous and difficult crossing. Forget what might have been, should have been and could have been. These past regrets won’t propel you up the mountain. What you need is an energy bar of confidence to power your trip. Acceptance takes time, perseverance and grace.

Heartbreak Can Be a Divine Dance

As you begin to recover from the shock of a relationship “gone south,” you will gradually emerge from a paralyzing cocoon. Each day, rise up from the floor of denial onto your knees, and ask for the “willingness to be willing” to mend your broken heart. As you continue to move with grace, you will experience the stirrings of a sacred and sublime dance in your heart.

Inventory Your Fears, Pain and Responsibility

Moving forward requires that you make an honest assessment of the role you played in the failed relationship. Most people who suffer heartbreak take little responsibility for their own shortcomings. Whenever we point fingers at the other in blame, the hand points back at us. The things that we abhor and cherish are often reflections of our inner thoughts and feelings.

• Drag Yourself Away from the Pain

Pain is like an umbrella, always waiting, comfortably nestled in the stand by the front door. Create some diversions in your daily schedule to provide relief. My personal favorites are watching a funny movie, feeding people at a homeless shelter, vigorous exercise, dancing or visiting a friend in need.

The first time I tried, I went to a local theater by myself and watched, “Sister Act,” starring Whoopie Goldberg. I laughed until I cried, but it gave me a well-deserved two-hour break from the pain.

Talk to Someone Who Specializes in Grief

Seek support from your good friends only when you need a break from yourself. Talk to someone who is not emotionally involved and is able to view your situation in an objective manner. Shamans, clergymen, therapists, masseuses, hairdressers are examples of those who may lend a constructive and sympathetic ear.

Make Better Choices

Generally, it takes approximately three weeks to establish a new behavior in one’s daily routine. Attend an exercise class, join a hiking group, power up your endorphins and drink lots of happy juice. Associate with people who appreciate your presence and use their energy to help you move beyond your pain

Whenever You Fall, Pick Yourself Up

Your broken heart is like an apple that has fallen to the ground. Pick it up, wash it off, and sample all of the wonderful flavors that it has to offer.

Sow Healing Seeds

Several years ago I planted some hearty bulbs on a cold November day. I prayed that by springtime, the purple tulips would peek through the earth, blessing me with their beauty. The healing season, which is a natural part of life, takes time. Be patient, and as your seeds grow, nurture them, and monitor their growth. Healing can be an enjoyable and enlightening experience.

Visualize

Imagine the qualities you seek in a perfect partner, and what kind of life you would love to share together. Transform your dream into a living reality by meditating, contemplating, creating a vision board, or making a list of your requirements. Be clear with your vision, and if you are ready for love, your life will become bountiful and joyful. Become the person that you seek in a relationship.

 

Like elephant Love on Facebook.

 

Ed: Brianna Bemel
Photo: Source: polyvore.com via AnnMarie on Pinterest

About Renee Baribeau

Renee Baribeau is known worldwide as, “The Practical Shaman.” As a gifted sage, mentor, healer, blogger, author, life coach and chef, she injects humor and practical wisdom into her dynamic, inspirational workshops. The “Awakening Compass,©” featured in her new book, The Winds of Spirit(2015), is a navigational tool designed to provide guidance, focus and clarity of direction in your life, no matter which way the wind is blowing. Aligning to Your Awakening Compass for Spring. Free Audio Download Here. Follow Renee on Facebook at The Practical Shaman for daily inspiration.

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23 Responses to “10 Tips to Mend Your Broken Heart Before Valentine’s Day. ~ Renee Baribeau”

  1. Such great perspective, Renee. Thank you!

  2. Woo-hoo!!!
    My heart feels so much better now … light and lively.

    Thanx Renee :)

  3. Susan Reiner says:

    Wise, practical and simple… you have a great way of boiling it down to the essentials :)

  4. @MariSmith says:

    ;) great read, as always!

  5. Thanks for the read of the blog. I crack up when I look at your Madis Gras Glasses.

  6. Lots of great advice here. Thanks!

  7. I really liked your suggestion to drag yourself away from the pain…sometimes we just need to give it break even if it's just for a few moments. That's how we begin the healing process…one happy moment at a time.

  8. I will never forget how walking into a movie alone the first time was so scary. Now I do it all the time for fun.

  9. These tips are so straightforward with no fluff…I particularly resonated with the one about dragging oneself away from the pain. Without even realizing it, its so easy to get stuck in a rut or in a habitual cycle where one defaults to pain (past or present) without attention to all of the beneficial things that are happening around oneself.

  10. Jenna Belth says:

    This is so great! Thanks Renee for this article, will be sharing it with friends and clients. There is love all around us if we know where to look for it, and are willing to receive it. Thank you for sharing empowerment around mending.

  11. Thank you so much Jenna for sharing this article with your friends and clients.

  12. Beautiful advice and oh so helpful at this time of year. I wish we all understood that we deserve better….it seems so simple.

  13. This week I lost a friend who tragically died in childbirth loss can hit us unexpectedly … great post Renee have linked to it this valentines day :-)

    • Thank you Emma. This post might be a bit raw for someone who just lost someone. There is nothing as raw as the loss of a child. Have some great mothers who have shared that experience in their blogs.

  14. lag97p says:

    This is a particularly great article from Dr Lisa Bobby at Exaholics.com about surviving your first Valentine's Day alone: http://www.exaholics.com/2014/01/29/surviving-you

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