Date a Girl Who Can Sew. ~ Lorenza Doyle

Via on Jun 28, 2013

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Inspired by Date a Boy Who Likes to Travel, on Huff Post. On elephant: Date a Girl who Writes, and Date a Boy who Serves.

Date a girl who can sew.

Date a girl who can sew because she knows it takes patience, structure and care to make something beautiful—whether it be clothes, cakes, or a relationship. She knows it takes hard work and dedication to make something of a high quality, for it to be long-lasting and to stand the test of time.

She knows that for friendships, relationships and fixing broken hearts and hems a Made In China approach won’t do.

Date a girl who can sew because she’s good with her hands, her gentle hands—she can thread a needle through a hole you can’t see, she can move fabric through pieces of metal you don’t understand and she can make an outfit out of fabric you were pretty sure were curtains five seconds ago.

Date a girl who can sew because she’ll have creativity and passion for something other than her job, her nails and her hair. She won’t rant at you for hours when she gets home from work about her infuriating boss because she knows that to switch off, all she has to do is sew.

Date a girl who can sew because when she’s sewing she’s quiet, she won’t bother you. You can watch sports, drink beer and stare at your laptop. She won’t hover and bother and ask questions, because a girl who can sew is more interested in sewing.

This girl will have an understanding of machinery and oil and odd man-things like that. She won’t bang it with a hammer or high-heel and expect it to work.

Date a girl who can sew because she won’t waste her money—or your money, for that matter—on overpriced clothes. She knows how much clothing and fabric is worth. She won’t spend $400 on a cotton shift dress because it’s fashionable, she’ll buy cotton for $4 and make one herself.

(She’ll spend money on silk though—ohh yes. Still a fraction of what the high street would be ripping you off by though, so let her go nuts.)

You’ll be amazed at the things she can fix with a needle and thread or an industrial sewing machine: backpacks, sleeping bags, any sort of pocket with a hole, golf bags, gym bags, leather handbags…hell, if you can stick a needle through it, she can fix it.

She’ll know how to read instructions and have a methodical approach to getting something done. She understands instructions and knows how to follow them to end up with well-made, finished product.

Date a girl who can sew because she’ll wear pretty dresses she’s made herself that no other girl will ever be wearing. You can proudly say “She made that herself!” when you’ve had nine drinks and are having a proud boyfriend moment.

She’ll have the gift of listening and sewing at the same time. This is different to watching television and listening—when you sew you really can put 99% of your attention to listening, as everything else you’re doing with your hands and eyes, and you don’t need to think about it: peddle up, peddle down, pins out, foot up. Plus, she’s not rotting her mind watching useless crap on television like the Biggest Loser or the Voice because instead she’s doing something useful and creative.

dating sew sewing diy etsyDate a girl who can sew because knows how to get blood out of clothes. From that many pin pricks. So go to town, Dexter.

Date a girl who can sew because you’ll never hear her complaining about clothes in the shops not fitting her—she can already make anything she wants in the colour, fabric and exact size and fit for herself. Which means she’ll always be wearing clothes that fit amazingly and look tailored to fit.

She won’t go fascinator or hat-shit crazy at Spring Racing Carnival and spend a small fortune on feathers and fluff. She can make her headwear from leftover fabric and the base pieces that cost 50 cents from Lincraft.

You need a pocket square to match her? Not a problem.

And when you get married, don’t worry about the dress; don’t worry about paying $4,000 for it, either. She’ll make it herself, or enlist the help of her sewing teacher or know the exact person she wants to make it. Bridesmaid dresses? Easy. She can whip them up cheaper than the Bali versions and she won’t be using dance time satin because she already knows how god-awful it looks in the photos.

Date a girl who can sew because your children will always have the best school dress-up day outfits, birthday dresses, dance costumes, Halloween, Christmas, drama, musical costumes or whatever it is your child wants. And never mind growing out of it—tear up the fabric and recycle for next years, Kermit becomes Shrek and so on.

Date a girl who can sew because she can teach your children and your grandchildren the joy of sewing, the art of creating something, and she might just be teaching the next Alex Perry.

She can put the spark of creativity in their minds and show them how to use their hands for more than iPads and PlayStations. She’ll teach them to make something that they’ll love, be proud of and remember the time spent building and creating for years to come.

Date a girl who can sew because she’ll be patient, smart and sew, sew awesome.

 

Lorenza DoyleLorenza Doyle is: a designer. She likes: coffee. breakfast. wine. being loud. sewing. running & sleep. She writes a blog about dating & relationships with a dash of Lorenza. Currently living: Melbourne—Australia. Find her on Twitter.

 

 

 

 

 

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Ed: Bryonie Wise

{Photo: via Natalie on Pinterest}

 

 

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13 Responses to “Date a Girl Who Can Sew. ~ Lorenza Doyle”

  1. Andi says:

    That was perfectly insulting.

    I am a sewing wild woman (serger and regular machine) with an Engineering career that is occupying, satisfying, difficult and extremely demanding. I work hard to move my way up in a very man-dominated world and seem to be doing pretty ok so far, bumps and bruises along the way. I wear fancy things, love doing my make-up and hair, take great pride in my appearance – with some clothing made but most of it bought.

    I support my husband financially right now, as we moved to the US recently for my job. I support him always. He supports me always. Our focus is on growing each other.

    Sewing is all the wonderful things you mention, helps me with all the things you brought up. But my outfits are imperfect, rushed, sometimes have to be done over again… I "frankenstein" things and yes, get to be creative. Mess things up an I try again. I get better, little at a time.

    I am not quiet when I sew. And I am not expected to be quiet when I get home from hard days at work… Living in a man's world most days – I also don't require my sweet baby machines at home be my convenient – yet still feminine connection to a man's world.

    You need to pull your head out of your garment bag, my friend.

    • elephantjournal says:

      Wow. I didn't get that quiet means submissive. Listening, and having a "meditation in action" practice to connect with after a hard day–is something equally useful and wonderful for both sexes.

      • Andi says:

        Thank you for choosing to post my thoughts, I really appreciate it. Sewing brings balance to my world but he opposite way this article suggests in my opinion, which may explain why it hit such a nerve. I vow to put more effort in commenting when I love your writing as this isn't a very fair representation of my appreciation.

        I don't come close to fitting the typical engineering mould but have found I can be true to my quirky ways and benefit as a professional. A level of conformance is required but can be hard to swallow most days, infuriating too. Accepting when it benefits all to adhere and develop process, structure and standards is an on-going lesson, working well most of the time. But strict and stifling too! It truly is the way we get things accomplished. I love process and discovered how structure unleashes my creativity at work.

        Sewing lets my natural OCD, process-driven, structure-loving self go totally wild and gives me a place I can safely let the end product 'perfection' go, get out of control with colour and texture. It is therapy in all ways, where I get loud, exercise my demons, fix buttons, ruin stuff…Evolve.

        Sometimes I build something incredible in the process, representing all parts of me, made with my own two hands. (and then wear it to work!)

        Hope this helps understand the nerve hit…. I felt both my worlds misunderstood. But what you described is also someone else's truth. Again, thank you for posting, I appreciate it.

  2. Me says:

    Yep. That’s totally me. Happily.

  3. Shannon says:

    “Date a girl who can sew because she’ll have creativity and passion for something other than her job, her nails and her hair. She won’t rant at you for hours when she gets home from work about her infuriating boss because she knows that to switch off, all she has to do is sew.”

    At first I was insulted by this article, then I thought it must be tongue-in-cheek, but after reading Elephant Journal’s response to Andi I’m not sure what to think. How about dating a guy who can sew? This is 2013 after all. ;)

    • elephantjournal says:

      Write it! We're reader-created.

      I write a bunch of posts that make fun of themselves, but this I think is pretty straightforward. I was just trying to comment above because I don't like hurt feelings. I prefer constructive criticism.

      • Andi says:

        To the reply above, you are right. I should have taken time, a big breath and paused… and I could have made it constructive. I am sorry for that. Hope the rest of the feedback is positive and encouraging and what struck me and Shannon was somewhat anomalous.

  4. Kimberly says:

    Jeeeze, some of these people who commented might want to get an attitude adjustment. Although not all applied to me in the article, I thought it was a lovely piece of writing and it was the spirit in which it was written that touched my heart tenderly. Namaste', bitches!!!

    • Me says:

      I agree!

    • Andi says:

      I can appreciate that… and I hope posting more of the reason for nerve-hitting helped. I am pretty uncomfortable with what reaction it triggered. That means something to me, work I still need to do to find my compassionate indifference.

  5. Terri says:

    I too found this article to be demeaning and insulting. I have sown all my life and enjoy the meditative quality it brings to my life, however, I kept waiting for the punch line or to the byline date to be from the 50′s. I’ll continue to sew, but I’ll talk when I want to, about whatever I want and I may sew a “pretty dress” or I may sew pants. This article seems so far removed from the usual articles you post. I’m disappointed.

  6. Maria says:

    Dear Elephant readers and writers,

    We all are so different and always will be! And we all are free to be what we are. Let's honor our Differences and be grateful for our Freedom of choices.

    I really enjoyed reading the article. Thank you for posting it!

  7. Trena says:

    I really enjoyed your article. Yes, there were parts that didn't fit me to a T as a sewist, but the true message I felt you were trying to convey did. What I got out of the article was that sewists use their time more wisely. Learning and creating are very important to them. They don't have to be in your business because they have other things they'd rather be doing. They are generally frugal and love being so. There will always be days when one needs to vent frustration, and sewing helps take your mind off it. The only thing that I would have suggested changing about this article is, date Someone who sews. Yes there are men who love to sew. It's not just a girly thing. I admire anyone who loves to be creative, instead of wasting time on Facebook or such. Gifts made by someone are so much more heartwarming. They don't have to be perfect. Just knowing someone cared enough about you to make something for you is ,in itself, a gift. I'm really surprised that anyone is offended by this article. It seems some people just look for a reason to be outraged. Thanks for posting this article

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