I am looking for the easiest Halloween costume, so I am thinking about “going naked” this year.

However, it is a little bit chilly for early winter. Plus it is a sure way to meet the police, and not the ones dressed in fake blues, carrying plastic handcuffs.

“Going naked” is brilliantly simple, because I already own the costume.

I found that old cardboard box with “college” scribbled across it with a Sharpie, but the costume was missing. I remember folding it up, shoving the costume in between my study sheets for geology and term papers, next to chunks of pyrite and pebbles of granite, alongside some of my old journals and tokens from those days of my early twenties.

Yet, somehow, the costume went MIA somewhere in between my move to New York then my move back to California, and then my move to New York, and then my move back to northern California.

I guess the “going naked” costume morphed into a cloak of invisibility.

Yep, there is truly a costume for “going naked,” yet staying warm on Halloween.

It is all about the muff.

At the playful age of twenty, during my very brief flirt with being single, I embraced “going naked” for Halloween; and, it was all about the muff.

I cut a triangle off the edge of my best friend’s fake calico fur jacket (she was going as a cat). I sewed the bright, hairy and obnoxiously large triangle to the base of my nude-colored leotard while I added apple red dots to the leotard where it covered my nipples.

jes circa 1995.

Wearing just the nude-colored, but richly adorned leotard I covered myself with a trench coat.  At the time, I had been dreading my hair, so my massive mane added that extra touch for the “going naked” costume.

I strapped my black heels on, and headed to the downtown of our famously known college town where I sauntered along with my friends, flashing open my trench coat, and laughing at the startled surprises—April Fool’s mixed with Halloween—my favorite holidays had merged into one by being a Faux Flasher.

“Going naked” is possible this Halloween.  Why not give it a try?

 

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Ed: Bryonie Wise