Thank God For the Memorable Halloween Costumes.

Via on Oct 31, 2013
Sick little-girl Heather.
Sick little-girl Heather.

For the first six years of my life, I got sick every Halloween.

This played out like a curse. From the moment dusk fell on the night of trick-or-treat, our door bell went off incessantly like an oven timer. I would be in my pajamas, feverish and grumpy, while one neighbor kid after another rubbed their good fortune in my face by swiping a candy from our bowl and high-tailing it off the porch in order to make every second count. There was no sympathy—it was every kid for himself.

I remember on more than one occasion, I begged my parents to let me put on a costume and just stand by the door, as the other kids and their half-drunk parents filtered on and off the porch. That way I could at least pretend to be part of the current of witches, ghosts and Pac-Men.

And a toilet.

I’ll explain: I have very few accessible memories from before the age of five, and even still, I believe many of those memories come from photographic-prompting. But I will never forget one Halloween night—I must have been four or five—when my parents answered the door, with a pathetic and sick little-me in tow, to find a grown-man dressed as a toilet. Though I was too young to articulate it then, something about this image rendered many of my beliefs about grown-ups being superior as null and void.

The costume apparatus was so impressive that he pulled a chord and the lid opened, offering up a bowl to put the candy in. I’m sure, what I thought was wow.

My parents laughed, gave him extra candy for his artistic efforts and closed the storm door behind him. But that costume will live on in my memory forever.

The following is an homage to those who are mind-stopping on Halloween, who leave their imprint in our memory like a fingernail X in an over-ripe pear. Whether their execution is genius or awkward enough to inspire recoil, we appreciate their unforgettability.

(Thank you, awkward family photographs, for being one of my go-to mood lifters.)

From the clever, committed and inspired:

awkward halloween photo 1

 

awk. halloween 2

 

To the impressive home-made ensembles:

jelly bellies

 

paper boy
Paper Boy

 

To the professionally photographed.

boy and globe

prof 2

 

Then there are the clever puns:

cereal killer
Cereal Killer / http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/punny-halloween-costumes

 

freudian slip
Freudian Slip/ http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/punny-halloween-costumes

 

one night stand
One Night Stand / http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/punny-halloween-costumes

 

pot head
Pot Head / http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/punny-halloween-costumes

 

And then there is simply, the downright inappropriate:

pimp kid
Kid’s Pimp Costume / www.amazon.com

And of course, I had to include one from my own archives:

"Road and Road Kill."  Heather and her exceeding tolerant husband.
We called this costume “Road and Road Kill.”

Cheers to all and to all a good (Halloween) night.

May you wake with a fun-sized chocolate hangover, and with an imprint of at least one memorable costume on your brain.

 

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 Ed: Bryonie Wise

About Heather Grimes

Heather is a full-time mama to her four-year-old daughter, Opal. She's also a part-time massage therapist to a variety of lovely folks, with a focus on old ladies. In the gaps, she writes, sews, reads, roller skates, falls, writes more, walks and relaxes with her awesome friends and husband. You can find her at hcgrimes.org. You can also check out her—now, inactive—blog at: thegrimesfamilychronicles.blogspot.com.

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