Confession: I’m not just a therapist and a yogi, I’m also a bit of a word nerd.

And lately I’ve been thinking about the way the word “balance” is being bantered around these days. Ever wonder why we are having such a hard time “achieving” it? Because it’s been grossly misrepresented! Some folks make it sound like it’s something we can get, like a cappuccino—but it’s not. Nor is it a stride we hit and then coast on the rest of our lives.

Want to know what it is, then? It’s a verb. Not a noun. (Remember the difference? It’s okay, just look it up.) Here’s how that distinction makes all the difference—balance the verb is something that we are constantly doing, like breathing.

Here’s a good example of balance as a verb: slack—line. Ever tried it? Super challenging. I tried it a couple of different times, but I couldn’t even begin to get it. Now, I’ve watched people try it and eventually succeed—but I saw how much patience it took, and how many, many times they would fall off the line while practicing. I’ve also witnessed that splendid moment where they got it—their arms stop pin—wheeling, their body stops quivering, a look of peaceful alertness comes over their face…Aha!

Here’s the sticky part: just because the mind and body has adapted to a new skill doesn’t mean the work is done.  And it doesn’t mean that it’s any easier, it just means that the work has gone deeper.

Can you see how that applies to balance in life? Sometimes we are swinging back and forth wildly, quivering all the time, our feelings flailing their proverbial arms in the air from one extreme to the other…

“I don’t ever want to see him/her again!”

“I can’t wait to see him/her again!”

“I’m never going to have another donut/drink/cigarette again!”

“Maybe just one more donut/drink/cigarette….”

But if we can just keep practicing balance, with repetition and patience, we can begin to slow down, and not quiver or swing so much back and forth. The work gets deeper the more we practice being mindful of our emotional swing. Practice is the key word here. Just like a slack—line, if we fall off, we climb back on again. (And again, and again!)

The next time you get impatient with your process, remind yourself of the difference between a noun and a verb. Remember that no one ever achieves balance and simply rests there. It’s a constant feeling, like on a slack—line, of give and take, this way and that.

So to cut yourself some slack (pun intended) and be patient as you modulate through your life…a little this way, a little movement that way…a little this way…oh nope, back that way…over a little to the left…Aha!

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Editorial Assistant: Kathryn Muyskens/Editor: Bryonie WIse

Photo: elephant journal archives