If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

~ “If You Wanna Be Happy” by Jimmy Soul

 

The idea behind this well known song of the 1960s was if you don’t want a wife who is high maintenance or cheats, marry a woman who is ugly, and so grateful to have a husband that she’ll take good care of you and never be disloyal.

To many this was a funny song; to others it was sexist and rude because it insinuates that a pretty woman will be demanding, difficult and unfaithful to her husband.

Obviously, the songwriter thinks that an ugly woman is more likely to appreciate her husband and work harder to make him happy because “no one else will.”

So the question for many is: Will You Be Happier if You Marry Someone Beautiful (or Handsome)?

Of course, those who are experienced and enlightened know that beauty is only skin deep. What matters most are the special qualities that make up the inside of a person. A wholesome woman (or man) of character is prettier (or more handsome) than someone who looks appealing on the outside but is shallow and undeveloped on the inside.

For those of us who are “mindful,” it’s clear that both men and women are over-focused on beauty. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be physically attracted to the other person. But, when one is obsessed with finding someone beautiful or handsome, it is easy to lose sight of the more durable and profoundly important qualities that should be valued—such as love, affection, chemistry, communication, commitment, generosity, friendliness, humor, patience, wisdom, intellect and loyalty that remain long after beauty fades.

Nevertheless, our culture promotes myths about how physical attraction (or lack of it) can lead to finding a happy relationship.

When asked, “Are you better off marrying an ugly woman,” people have strong reactions to the question:

“Men who only want pretty girls for their looks will get what they deserve because often those women are so shallow.”

“The more attractive she is, the higher the maintenance a woman becomes. When was the last time you saw a supermodel cook, clean and service her man like a king?”

“If what a man values most is a woman’s looks, he’s probably pretty insecure with lots of self-esteem problems.”

Many men do seek out trophy wives versus ugly or plain wives because, sadly, it increases their own, low self-esteem. Some (insecure) males like the idea of having a wife who is more of a “plain-Jane” because they think that will lessen the likelihood that she’ll cheat on them (i.e. “ugly women have fewer opportunities to cheat”). Others are heard to say, “If your wife is hot and she’s out somewhere socializing, you’ll always worry and be suspicious of what might happen.”

True: Attractive Men Don’t Make the Best Husbands

The irony is that research shows that women should be singing a very different song: “Marry an ugly man and you’ll be happy for the rest of your life!”

Of course, many attractive, smart and accomplished women are attracted to good-looking men who are masculine, physically fit, educated, prosperous and loving.

However, journalist, Vicki Larson writes that women who are attracted to those type of men, may be sabotaging their prospects for a happy relationship. Based on a research study in the Wall Street Journal, she explains that those criteria are working against most women. The fact is: “attractive men don’t make the best husbands.”

Larson quotes from this research,

“Guys who are rated as the most masculine—a billboard for a man’s good genes—tend to have more testosterone, and men with higher testosterone levels are 43 percent more likely to get divorced than men with normal levels, 31 percent more likely to split because of marital problems and 38 percent more likely to cheat. In other words, they may be better cads than dads.”

She goes on to say, “We’d be smarter if we sought out guys who are uglier than we are, because researchers have found that couples in which the woman is hotter than the guy are happier than if the situation is reversed.”

Your Choice: Immaturity vs. Maturity

It’s time for both sexes to look beyond the superficiality of physical appearance. While it’s easy to be bewitched by beauty, it takes real maturity to understand that deeper qualities are the glue that make long-term relationships last. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life then find someone who has both the inner and outer beauty that will keep your relationship joyful and fulfilling. As one person said, “Find someone to marry who will rub your tummy when it’s upset and make you chicken soup when you’re sick. Choose a person who encourages you to be the best you can and allows you to be an individual.”

The choice is yours.

 

Whether you’re attracted to someone beautiful or not, you can find out how the planets are affecting your relationships by going to Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health in: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2015-16. Or, a report on Your Love Compatibility with another person.

 

Relephant Reads:

Measuring Up: Unlearning Body Image Issues.

5 Things I Find Sexy in a Woman (That Aren’t All About Sex).

 

 

Author: Larry Schwimmer

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Flickr