“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
As most of my friends know, I have been falling in love for decades.
Allowing myself to plunge in the ocean of semi-superficial flings has been an intoxicating hobby of mine.
I would often be found saying “I’ve never known love like this before,” and that was true! Every time.
Each obsessive infatuation brought up different emotions, pleasures, challenges and lessons. I enjoyed not being fully committed or tied down.
The freedom to love was enriching; it fed me.
I was usually satiated physically, mentally and emotionally, but rarely spiritually. My previous affairs lacked the luster of true, unconditional love.
Is that even possible in modern day relationships?
“Unconditional.” Sounds nice, doesn’t it? If we’re in love, we want to assume it’s absolutely infinite. As wild, ego-driven humans, we tend to attach love with desired outcomes. In this twisted, “civilized” world, lust and longing are often disguised as love.
A majority of relationships are based on “I love you if…I love you when.” Why not say, “I like you until you f*ck up.”
Genuine love isn’t a barter system; it comes without circumstances.
It can be a frustrating challenge to let go of our usual neediness to simply love with the whole heart, and without desperately yearning to receive something in return.
Our true being thrives from sincere, selfless love. Sacrificing our egos builds inner strength. When there is no agenda or hidden motives, and loving is simply enough, this is pure love.
It is Tantric love.
Last year, a divine and celestially charming being entered my world. His company was an unexpected and delightful surprise. Since our continually blossoming love began, I haven’t been concerned with avoiding the typical childish games of dating. I have been passionately drawn to rise in love, instead of needlessly drowning in a short lived, pseudo-crush.
I’m not falling from unfulfilled bullsh*t expectations. My beloved is not a soulmate. I am my own. He does not complete me because I already am. I don’t feel attached or caged. We don’t own each other. We are not in a relationship for safety, security or boredom.
We are in it to evolve in love.
We are independent individuals, sweetly connected in our hearts, learning from and inspiring one another.
This is a rare and significant practice in the ancient art of Tantra.
My heart is ignited, soaring high in the boundless and unfamiliar love that continues to expand. Although each of us are responsible for our own transformation, it has not been without my lover’s impact.
Our natural state is in love already! It’s just the disgusting outer layer of socially conditioned muck and emotionally charged shit, that cloud our joyous, loving hearts. I see the light!
“Love is what we are; we don’t get it from somebody, we can’t give it to anybody, we can’t fall in it or fall out of it. Love is our true Being.” ~ Krishna Das
My beloved’s presence has captivated my spirit. I feel free. I have removed depthless masks of identity which hid my true self. I am not judged for being me, instead I am celebrated, respected and adored.
Because I have absorbed the enchanting light of love, I hunger to be better and to consciously encourage higher frequencies to spread across this beautiful blue planet.
Loving like this makes me want to share it, not possess it.
It is liberating to burst open and gush out unlimited, sugar plum-filled, delightful love all over the place! I rejoice in it!
“To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic.” ~ Alphonse De Lamartine
As much as I appreciate (and bask) in the daily joy of receiving love, the act of giving love has brought me even more pleasure! I gain profound gratification from showering my beloved with kisses and recognition.
I’m humbled and empowered by how I authentically honor and worship him.
My surrender to love may eat me alive, spit me out and leave me tender and vulnerable, but how wonderful to know my heart can love so much!
“Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself…Know the pain of too much tenderness…Bleed willingly and joyfully.” ~ Kahlil Gibran
The element related to the heart is air. “Air is expansive and can fit any space, yet it is soft and gentle, like love.” Oh, love. Just saying the word makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
The influence of true love enables my companion to skillfully read me beyond the physical. I have never known such full-bodied satisfaction.
His magic hands melt me deeper into love.
I find myself catapulted into hallucinogenic realms of luminescence from his tender and present affection. Cosmic love orgasms allow me to radiate ripples of peace waves throughout the world, which is in desperate need of some high vibes!
When I’m balanced in the heart, I’m not concerned with ugly feelings of jealousy, attachment or possession, which are the poisons of relationships. Anahata love is pure and rises above the ego.
Romantic emotions come and go and the initial boost of oxytocin gradually wears off (sad face). But, if it ever was true love, it will always be.
Love doesn’t disappear; it transcends time and boundaries.
When my body vibrates with buzzing sensations; when my chest burns with fiery heat so intensely I will never be cold again; when my face is sore from unstoppable perma-smiles; when there are no records of “wrong;” when there’s dizzy sickness from the butterflies and I allow myself to float far from this often shallow earthly realm with my head in the clouds…what a rare blessing.
I cherish every moment that I’m lucky enough to feel this way.
This love is effortless. I bow to this man in gratitude for blasting my heart open.
“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold.” ~ Zelda Fitzgerald
Sacred sex, meditation, yoga, devotional chanting, (and for me, chocolate) are all powerful remedies to rise in the vast, unlimited current of boundless love!
At least we can give some unconditional love to the brilliant, primal energy that creates everything. Do it and feel it flow back into our precious hearts!
Author: Tirzah Shiya
Editor: Renée Picard
Image: by Zen Panda / via author (used with permission)