Dating a Yoga Goddess.

Via Alex Smith
on Aug 4, 2010
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Via the lovely, feisty Holly Westergren and our friends over at Sir Richard’s:

Okay boys, gentlemen, not-so-gentle men, knights in shining armor, pimps and playas…

You’ve see us in the gym, in yoga studios, in magazines or on TV. Maybe you’ve even taken our classes—we yoginis, the flexible dare-devils on a spiritual mission who seem to float around the world so freely. We’re a different breed. Most of us are born travelers, nomads even. Most of us don’t like societal rules and conventions. And most of us don’t adhere to them and have dedicated our lives to living outside boxes in some way or another.

This is a beautiful thing that many men find intoxicating and exhilarating— until they realize that it also scares the shit out of them. This is true especially for the kind who look good in ties.

For the multi-talented beautiful Yoga Goddess, finding a life partner who is traveling down the same road or wants to walk hand-in-hand with a Yoga Goddess on her journey is much more difficult for her than any forearm balance. Yoga Goddess, more specifically, a woman from a Western civilization who teaches yoga for a living, especially in a metropolis of some kind, is a complicated creature who has elected to remove her Western goggles and instead apply and be guided by Eastern philosophies and practices of self-actualization.

This makes her an intriguing and complicated creature to most men, but I assure you, she is not entirely inscrutable. You have only to understand that underneath her yogi persona, your Yoga Goddess was probably fed fairy tales for most of her life, where damsels in distress waited to be rescued by the Prince. Now she is grown up and she is a Yoga Goddess, a yogi who has discovered her dharma ( this is the Sanskrit word for one’s “virtuous path”) and a devotion to God which has eased her existential distress but probably not completely relieved her of the distress of the romantic variety.

A Yoga Goddess can appear to many like an untouchable, statuesque, ephemeral, mystical, zany, Aphrodite-esque theatrical mess on wheels. To many men, she is bewitching and beguiling, she can unsettle you with her eyes and bring you to tears when you least expect it. A Yoga Goddess can see souls. She knows how to make you feel things you may not want to feel, which leaves many men feeling too vulnerable in her presence to ever feel good enough. Know that the Yoga Goddess of your dreams is not out to emasculate you but that it is her wish and it is within her power simply to help you open your heart. Sometimes, a Yoga Goddess forgets her own power and forgets too that a man might not want the woman he is pursing to have that effect on him. Know that she knows this but can’t always help it. Her soul work goes deep. The tricky part is, as a highly sensitive healer and woman with deep compassion for human suffering, she no doubt has walls of her own that you will have to be willing to tear down for her to feel safe enough to let you in. Therein lies her beautiful complexity.

So, here are some essential things you should know before you set out to win the heart of a Yoga Goddess of your dreams:

1) Get over the fact that a Yoga Goddess is probably someone who is a little bit dangerous to take home to meet your mother.

It occurred to me recently that this picture alone might actually have been why my last relationship didn’t work. If you want your Yoga Goddess for your very own, you must grow up and get over needing your mother’s approval. Yoginis are sparkling, creative, charming, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, highly intuitive and charismatic women who your mother might not love at first and will come to love eventually. But we’re also wild and free-spirited, with a lotta bit of hippie hell-raiser on the inside, which has the potential to feel threatening to many mothers who just want their son to settle down with a nice girl who won’t make too many waves. The good thing is that these qualities are usually countered with equal parts compassion, faith, and altruism. Yoginis also have chameleon qualities, so it is possible that your Yoga Goddess might be willing to dim her light for a meeting with the parents, but do not be surprised if your beloved Mumsy gives her the snake eye for reasons you cannot and will not ever understand. It’s a witchy woman thing.

2) Yoga Goddesses don’t do small talk.

Yoga goddesses usually cut the shit and get to the stuff that matters. Questions like, “What do you feel? Where do you feel it? What do you believe? Have you surrendered?” are a Yogi Goddess’s version of small talk. A woman who has chosen a spiritual path and dedicates her life’s work to helping people unify their mind, body, and spirit in profound and transformative ways is just not very good at shooting the shit with strangers and will tend to fire away questions that get right to the heart of the matter. If you need her to tone down the yoga talk, simply brief her before dinner with your boss. You can take her to work functions and she will do just fine for a while, but you might hear her take very deep loud audible breaths throughout the course of the night to manage her sensitivity to the noise and heavy lifting of bullshitting. Keep in mind, in her line of work, she meets people for the first time on the floor in sweatpants, and spends her days reading about God and breathing. So, don’t be surprised if she might need to go and do a headstand in the corner after a few vodka tonics to handle the change of scenery and relax her face from all the fake smiling.

3) Yoga Goddesses consistently crave and create adventure for themselves and others.

Yogis by nature are adventurous so if you’re not willing to be adventurous, in all kinds of ways, if you need to play it safe because you’re afraid of what people will think, then the Yoga Goddess is not for you and she probably won’t date you anyway. For the Yoga Goddess, it is not enough to simply like the idea of adventure. She will test your strength, she will keep you on your toes, she will love it if you surprise her just as much as she surprises you. If you’re a stable, steady kind of man, she will love you for your groundedness but ask you to abandon it on occasion in the name of faith, courage, and wisdom. That’s just how it goes. One of the most romantic things you can do for a Yoga Goddess is to plan a trip for the two of you and surprise her with it. She is used to taking the lead with plans and orchestrating events. To be cared for in this way is a Yogi Goddesses’s dream. And yes, the adventure extends to the bedroom, naturally. Don’t be scared. Yoga Goddesses are very gifted and patient teachers and healers.

4) A Yoga Goddess will turn your world upside down.

If you fall for a Yoga Goddess, it is very likely that she will very gracefully turn your buttoned-up world upside down. Afterall, she has been called to teach people to see things from another perspective, to look at things differently, to encourage people to challenge their ideas about who they are and what their lives should look like. This is probably why many men will date Yoga Goddesses for a time but never marry them. The potential for change is too great for many men who are intrigued by the possibility of being with someone so free-spirited but who are ultimately uncomfortable with what life might look like with someone who is so comfortable with uncertainly, so in tune with and guided by spirit. Someone who possesses an ardent faith in things unseen can feel too intense for someone who is not prepared or interested in a spiritual journey. So, while your Yoga Goddess can be playful and fun-loving, she takes her life, her vocation and her spiritual path very seriously. A man who earns a Yoga Goddess’s love must respect and admire her work, understand its value to humanity.

5) Yoga Goddesses are mysterious.

Yoga Goddesses do not go out of their way to be mysterious, they just are, simply because they have surrendered to the mysteries of life, have given up searching for answers for why things are and very comfortable living the the gray areas of life. If you are a rigid thinker, the Yoga Goddess is not for you. She is a free-thinker, open-minded and open-hearted. She prizes authenticity over knowledge and accomplishment and leans into the mystery of life at every turn. In my experience, this terrifies and confuses many men. Yoga Goddesses are not good planners since they are usually out doing God’s work, will entertain detours if led by spirit to go left instead of right or to be late for an appointment because of a chance encounter with a mystical stranger who seems to have an important message for her. She will require your trust and patience and she will return the favor tenfold. If she keeps you waiting, chances are she will have a magical reason for it, a wonderful story that keeps your faith in things unseen alive. She’ll tell you about it while giving you some kind of exotic massage. She cannot be rushed. And she will not let anyone else set her pace for her.

6) A Yoga Goddess is the hostess with the mostest.

She will cook you things to balance your doshas and if you don’t know what those are, she will help you identify them. She will play amazing music from all over the world that will transport you into other galaxies. She will know what to do with your body in many situations as well as what kind of oils to rub on it and where to make you feel like the God you are. She will create a house of harmony, health, balance. She will want to care for your mind, body, and spirit. She can’t help it. It’s her job.

7) A Yoga Goddess is still a material girl.

A Yoga Goddess is not immune to desires of the flesh. Though she has probably made the decision, at certain points in her life to disengage from the material world as part of her spiritual training, she does still enjoy earthly comforts like jewels and fancy dinners and unexpected trips to exotic locales. And she is still a girl looking for a boy to love her, honor her, and ravish her.

8 ) A Yoga Goddess cherishes her freedom and yours.

The yogic path is often called the quest for the jivan mukti, or the soul’s liberation. A woman who is on a yogic path understands that souls want what souls want and that a relationship is meant to be a place where those desires can be expressed without shame or guilt. This can make her seem like she has the potential to be so free-spirited that she just wants to be free-wheelin’, free-loadin’ and free-lovin’ her way around the world. Not so. A yogic-minded woman simply understands for herself that we are all here to be each other’s teachers and students and that there is no better place for the expression of that dynamic than in a loving partnership.

Read on for 9 and 10 over at the Sir Richard’s Salon.


About Alex Smith

Alex Smith first learned asana from an 80-year-old man under a banyan tree in India and never looked back. She teaches a breath and alignment centric vinyasa flow and is grateful each and everyday for her practice. When off the mat, she can be found writing, daydreaming, drifting down the med school path, and busting out ujjayi breaths on her bike, buses and mountain tops.


240 Responses to “Dating a Yoga Goddess.”

  1. Stewart J. Lawrence says:

    Actually, I think the correct term is "Yoga Diva"?

    As in: "I'm ready for my close-up now, Mister Friend."

  2. anon for this. says:

    Sounds a little like a recent girlfriend of mine. Trust me, it can be a *very* fine line between walking the spiritual path and treating someone like their feelings matter hardly at all.

  3. Helena Rust says:

    If you meet the Buddha on the road who claims they are the Buddha, kill them. For the real Buddha would never need to make such claims.

    I feel the same about this article and whatever so called Yoga Goddess/Gods that think so well of themselves they believe that all who teach yoga must be that way as well. This was an excellent article, however, about dating advice to the square business-man types who want to date spiritually loud, high maintenance Western women who have caught the yoga bug like yesterday's Cosmetology School.
    I am not saying the author of this article is one such a woman, but the article itself provides an apt caricature, (yes, thank you Jeffrey) of such a woman.

    Breathe deep and prosper.

  4. Bridget says:

    This is so awesome! I had a male friend and fellow yoga teacher tag me in this as he shared it on facebook and I laughed so hard and was super flattered that he considered me to be a yogi goddess to begin with. My husband wants to add the comment, that if you think dating one is crazy/scary, try being married to one. 🙂 Thanks for a big smile today!

  5. Lyon says:

    Chill… it's iPad month homie. 😉

  6. Lyon says:

    Although quite entertaining, and some interesting points made, this was a bit over the top, but I personally know the feeling of frustration with small talk. and I date a person who is not on the same spiritual path, if he is on any at all, so i often question where this would lead, specially when my free spirited self feels like she needs to spread her wings and seek similar soul mates. However, I have learned greatly from our differences, specially to be patient and open to his own process. I like to believe that once this lifestyle hits close to home and the seed is planted, worlds collide and it's only a matter of time until they also become more aware, no use in pushing your beliefs onto someone just because you can see their potential, they yet can,

    "Just because people are walking paths different from ours, does not mean they are lost,"

    I also don't think I am any more mysterious or whatever… Sometimes I tire of trying to make people see the other side of things… At times it simply is too much for people. I like to think of myself as a very normal person, who is extremely approachable, welcoming, and easy to communicate with.

    But it is really awesome being this flexible. 🙂

  7. Lyon says:

    Well said

  8. I have photographing Yoga godess in a collection of 1,000 yoga poses/asanas.
    I wanted to give back to the yoga community…so I created the "World's Biggest Yoga Pose Collection" for free with instructions and benefits…Hope you enjoy it and may it help take your yoga practice to new exciting places. Namaste!

  9. Tim Illencik says:

    I can't tell if this article is meant to be taken seriously. I hope not..

  10. guest says:

    get a real yoga practice…this one is broken

  11. Guest says:

    Cosmopolitan Magazine called…they want their pretentiousness back.

  12. James says:

    gender. labels! you’re leaving out the Ones living in the bodies of men. we’re souls, we wear these bodies. peace and love.

  13. vijay. says:

    " Yoginis are sparkling, creative, charming, intelligent, beautiful, sexy, highly intuitive and charismatic".. wow too much of "I am this I am that". Every woman is special in her own way.. Just because some one who has great practice and teaches yoga does not make them special.

    Also, just imagine a male yoga teacher writing an article titled "dating a yoga god" . Would love to see the reactions to that.

  14. […] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

  15. […] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

  16. Vernon says:

    Fully Agree!!

  17. Ian says:

    Are full of themselves………

  18. […] you met one of us and have managed to pass go and collect your 200 dollars. Now you’re thinking you’d […]

  19. Glenn says:

    Sounds like I'm looking for a Yoga Goddess! Great article!

  20. nimh2 says:

    Good God, this is the most narcissistic article I've read in a long, long time. One can almost see the writer grinding up to her reflection in the mirror and cooing, "Ooh now who is the most awesome goddess ever! You are, yes you are!"

    Naively, as a lay person in matters of yoga, I thought yoga was at least in part about elevating oneself up from the ego and finding some higher level of consciousness. Recognizing the good in all and everyone, casting oneself free from self-absorbed vanities and appreciating one's wholeness with … I dunno, the cosmos, I guess. Something like that. But in this post, the stars to follow are not in the sky: why, *she* is the star, and the women like her, and other people are to admire them and strive for their favours, because that's just how fabulously awesome they are!

    Distinctly less Buddha than Cleopatra.

  21. Oh Sofree says:

    Tie-wearing uptight frat grads be on notice, Yoga goddesses will cheat on you because they are unconstrained. So what if your mom doesn't like it?

    File under navel-gazing LOLlery.

  22. Lahla Devi says:

    Just what i need it to confirm in my life…a Women of God of Service…sometiem so misunderstood even from myself…thank you soooooooooooooooooo much for this article it has turned my day up and uplift my spirit in so many ways…to be with a Yogic Goddess is just more to dare to change. to be crazy, to let go, to snap yourself out of any assumptions in life…to know that is ok not to know it all…and that is ok when everything is simply not ok.

  23. Jennifer Foote says:

    Love it! It's right on! (Except for the mom part, I haven't had that experience.) To those who have said calling oneself a yoga goddess pretentious or condescending, I just want them to know that I don't call myself a yoga goddess, that's the term other people use (men and women by the way). I actually laugh uncomfortably when someone calls me that. Sure, I get a bit of an ego feed from it but very quickly I turn my thoughts to God for it is that which people are seeing. It's got nothing to do with "me".

  24. AmyYogini says:

    I think this article was fabulous! However, without any first hand experience from which to draw, I understand how some people may find this article condescending. Try to see past that. We are no better than anyone else, just different. Really try to appreciate this beautiful portrayal of a yogini and how she interacts with others. Keep in mind that once discovery of this path clobbers us over the head and changes everything, "reintegration" into the world can be a challenge. I have searched for my own way to articulate this to those in my life who don't understand. This article speaks brilliantly to anyone does wish to understand a woman on this particular journey. LOVE IT!!!!

  25. […] to show the world who they are and in what they believe. (Added bonus: in social situations, this cuts way down on needless small talk). Tattoos are a flag we raise, a beacon, drawing us together—a true tribal expression of […]

  26. […] I you want to date me, here’s what you’ll need to know. […]

  27. alex says:

    hello!!!! thanks. that was such an obnoxious article.

  28. bunk says:

    Agree. My favorite "Yoga Goddess" is a 60 year old naked man with a gut and a mullet and no such "my social group does this" pretentiousness (that he cares to share online, at least).

  29. […] in Sanskrit means “goddess” or “female power,” and the “Akhilanda” means essentially “never not broken.” In […]

  30. johnnycoyo says:

    Yikes …this is hilarious ! Please spare us from Yoga goddesses and their self-importance …. 🙂

  31. CBS says:

    I just threw up in my mouth…

  32. TD says:

    what self absorbed garbage -stupid rich white women have nothing better to do than bastardize a deep practice & make it an egotistical trip. Yoga leads to selfless service of others – teach the less privileged or something instead of sticking your head up your ass

  33. Quester says:

    This is an abomination of all things spiritual. What load of egotism. If this were on the Onion, I would think it genius.

  34. Gary says:

    Eh…somewhat narcissistic. I don't wear a tie but I do work in that environment and I've done more personal growth work than 9 out of 10 yoginis. Especially in the Bay Area doesn't take much to call yourself that and it's not intimidating to most men out here.

  35. @Kokitsuneko says:

    To be so egoist in this article, really makes me look down upon the name of a "yoga goddess." HA. I respect those who just love what they teach and what they do without really putting themselves up on a pedestal like this.

    I would think to really be in connection with God and with yoga, you'd put yourself down first without putting out your spirit and the worth of your Being too. Putting yourself up like this is nice in a simmered and subtle way but please, refrain from it.

    These types of women feel like Geminis, Sagittariuses (especially) and Aquariuses to me, in an astrological sense. lol

  36. Terri says:

    I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL LOVE

  37. namaste says:

    Funny, I absolutely loved this article!

    I see nothing wrong with appreciating the goddess within you and others too. Well-written, and I identify with a lot of the points (don't do small talk, adventure loving, etc.)

    Thank you for sharing Alex! 🙂

  38. annettemackay says:

    Gotta say this article made me laugh….in a good way. Made me think of Dharma and Greg. That was such a great sitcom. Hubby and I used to watch it and laugh our asses off. There were many many episodes where we'd felt like they'd mined our lives for the story line. We've been together for 34 years and I don't think my MIL has made her way to loving me yet, but I think she graciously puts up with me. We've learned over the years what topics are best kept off the table.

    I've only been a yoga goddess for 10 of those 35 years. But it was inevitable. Whenever my dear hubby rolls his eyes at me I remind him that he picked me and the first time he saw me I was wearing purple pants – which he liked. So he was plenty fore-warned.

  39. tom says:

    Well, I guess the next obvious article to come…probably written by me i'd assume is… "When Your The Man" (From Up here.. the Male Yoga Teacher) : how to handle being wanted, how to be authentic with your teachings in class and still students while entire communities squirm because you know what love is and don't mind being judged for the fact that you they don't or maybe you just see past what Yoga isn't. Have you been to WanderLUST lately? Peace out.

  40. tom says:

    edit: "how to be authentic with your teachings in class and still DATE students while entire…. sorry, peeps.

  41. Pong says:

    PRETENTIOUS. Yoga is about dissolving one's inflated ego. WTF happened? Thanks a lot I puked in my mouth. Ever thought about the other balancing aspect of this "goddess"? The Negative aspect? Yea… That…

  42. happytruelife says:

    amazing and acurate as for myself 🙂 feel so good that you expressed it in written way. happy true life to you:)))

  43. boygirl says:

    Well i'm glad we have yet another sub-genre of human with another sub-set of rules to follow that somehow ironically crushes the core of humanity and what otherwise excites me about getting to know someone…

  44. James says:

    A REAL Yoga Goddess has let go of her ego (just sayin')

  45. Peg says:

    Kinda egotistical, if not humorous! 😉

  46. debra says:

    lighten up people!!!

  47. RedScharlach says:

    Not sure if this a list of true and necessary facts about a general social archetype or an arbitrary list of narcissistic self congratulations.

  48. Sophie Poppele says:

    I feel like some take this article way to seriously. (As with all articles on the internet. "*sigh*) The way Holly put it, she wasn't saying the "yoga goddess" describes herself as such, or puts herself on a pedestal, Holly is simply stating, that this is how they can come off to others. Sure, not all the characteristics apply to everyone, (Im about to google ''doshas"). BUT, wither or not some parts of this are true and some aren't, I believe this is still a hilarious, interesting, and informative article. Especially to men!