10 Things You’re doing instead of Caring about Climate Change.

Via Waylon Lewis
on Aug 9, 2012
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Climate Change is big, scary, it’s happening for sure.

Unless you watch Fox, then it’s a brilliant conspiracy by thousands of scientists and Al Gore, that overweight big-house-living, plane-flying hypocrite. In any case, it’ll probably just really crush your children, not you. And your children, having learned from the masters, will just hunker down in AC and squeeze the Mother Earth for a little last love—it’s your grandchildren who’ll really get it. So, back to feeling vaguely bad about it but not knowing what to do about it, which translates as, at best, buying a Prius and trying to use less chemicals in your hot tub while the world burns. ~ ed.

1. Looking at that chick/hunk at your local Starbucks and wishing you had the balls/guts to talk to him her
2. Eating that GMO plastic-wrapped crap while thinking about losing those five pounds
3. Watching some shit you don’t care about on Netflix Instant while eating more crap before getting up and getting just one more thing of crap that you shouldn’t have but you need some pleasure in your life. Returning to couch, watching the Kardashians and enjoying thoroughly.
4. Texting while walking.
5. Texting while driving (gossiping about the neighbor who wears her jeans too tight).
6. Spending money you don’t have that you didn’t plan to spend on things you don’t need that were Made in China, taking jobs away from idiots like us, forcing us to save money by buying cheap crap Made in China at megastores that supplant local mom n’pops, pay crap wages, and make their owners ka-billionairs who fund the Tea Party and fight against Obamacare, support Upper Class tax cuts.
7. Reading about Climate Change while wearing a sweater in the middle of summer because coal-fired or fracking-sourced electricity-hogging AC is on full blast
8. Worrying about your love life, consoling self with trite, soon-forgotten, loosely translated Rumi quotes on Pinterest
9. surfing the internet, reading articles with funny headlines that make you feel even worse about yourself sharing said articles on your Facebook page, by way of inoculating yourself against guilt, implying that it’s others who are wasteful thoughtful fools
10. looking at photos of naked Adam Levine, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Lochte, Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron/Kristen Stewart, Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry, Padma Lakshmi, Anne Hathaway, Kate Upton.

To read something on Climate Change, but not do anything about it, click here.


About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | His first book, Things I would like to do with You, is now available.


18 Responses to “10 Things You’re doing instead of Caring about Climate Change.”

  1. CBarnes says:

    11. Pointing out things that other people are doing instead of worrying about climate change. How about some productive suggestions instead?

  2. Jessica says:


  3. Autumn says:

    Agreed agreed. The tone of this is douchey.

  4. a thought says:

    I think some of the writers here secretly want to write for Comedy Central than a spiritual blog…sometimes they articles work, sometimes they don’t. I say stay true to your core audience and don’t mislead them with the titles that do really matter right now.

  5. Guest says:

    esusJay eptWay

  6. elephantjournal says:

    We do that all week, every week. Folks don't read "green." Haven't you heard? "Green" is no longer an important fad for media to cover, or readers to read.

  7. elephantjournal says:

    Well, it was meant to poke fun. I read this to a number of colleagues, and the ideas all came from things we ourselves do. Fact is, most of us would rather be happy short-term than work for greater good.

  8. elephantjournal says:

    This is not a spiritual blog. But thanks for your anonymous advice!

  9. elephantjournal says:

    Couldn'ta said it better myself.

  10. elephantjournal says:

    Via our FB page: Climate Change/Global Weirding is intimidating, somehow-partisan, unsexy. "Green" issues, once faddish, are now one of the least-read sections on elephantjournal.com. So… [link]

    Catherine Chipman Official ozone warning for Denver tomorrow.

    Barbara Gallen OK I admit it!

    Lanni Zephier Smith Oh god this is awesome! 🙂

  11. kim amlong says:

    Here is the best thing you can do about climate change is Go Vegan!!

    Care2 Earth Month: Back to Basics. http://www.care2.com/causes/save-the-planet-eat-l

    2. Animal Agriculture is the number one Cause of Global warming. Watch this 5 minute video to learn the facts. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed…!

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