Karma Can’t Cheat, But Your Partner Might.
As I stepped outside my house, the Nicaraguan heat suffocated my breath and for a moment I thought: “What is hotter than the weather in Nicaragua year round?”
Answer: Infidelity. Yep, it sure is. Muy, muy caliente!
Don’t worry, I’ll be throwing caution to the wind to cool things down with the intention to bring about change and awareness while knowing damn well that this topic can be one of the biggest fears we face in any relationship.
As spiritual beings, we are forever learning, developing and evolving.
Thank you for being here. If you are here, you are prepared to do the dirty work.
We pick opportunities and experiences that are optimum for spiritual growth and awareness. I’m trying to inspire your thoughts through guidance, so together, we can create a more conscious creation of our lives in this world.
Our lives are a canvas on which we paint our destiny. And what I’m about to paint for you is simply a picture of my own thoughts and awareness to either relate to or not. My words are for your consideration only. Don’t burn me at the stake, please. It’s hot enough here and you already hung me for writing: So You Wanna Date a Yoga Goddess, but I’m not going to let that choke my throat chakra!
So here I am. Living my life by surfing the waves of karma. Listening to that inner voice to guide my decisions. Enjoying the natural ebbs and flows of what comes my way. Living my life’s purpose through a yogic lifestyle. Treading lightly over everyone’s dreams by practicing non-judgement. Eliminating gossip and bad habits. Learning about archetypal patterns and why I attract certain people into my life and why I have come into yours. Accepting full responsibility for each interaction and any mistreatment, learning from it and moving on. Living each moment in the present, surrendering to the divine power of the universe as I manifest each intention. Flowing with nature, not concerned about time. Loving each creature and being that comes onto my path, and having compassion for the people who are hurting. Accepting we humans are only doing our best under any given circumstance.
I have not walked one step in your shoes, but your pain is also mine.
Forgiving each person who may have broken my heart because it releases me from my own suffering.
Not only am I speaking my truth, but I’m doing my best to match each word and apply it to the way I currently live by not pretending and by being my most authentic self.
Loving the reflection I see in the mirror and each reflection I see when I look at each one of you, because we are all one, connected by light and dark. Hugging your shadow because my shadow is yours, befriending your ego because your ego is mine. Softening my gaze to see beyond what might be currently forming and knowing that each one of us is a soul made of energy and spirit. We are all beautiful.
I exist because we exist.
The topic of infidelity has been a raging fire in my second chakra, Swadhisthana, throwing me off-balance because I have been faced with unconscious desires and sexual temptations even a saint would have a hard time saying “no” to.
I have attracted unavailable men not because I have ever been unfaithful in a relationship, but for other reasons that I will discuss in the following paragraphs. The courage to speak about this is coming from the necessity to keep my throat chaka, Vishuddha, pure by being authentic and speaking the truth as I heal my heart chakra, Anahata, keeping this tiny flame lit while maintaining the ability to make decisions outside of the realm of karma and attracting faithful available love in the future.
Infidelity, colloquially known as cheating, adultery or having an affair. Breaking a promise to remain faithful to a sexual partner in a committed relationship is the reality we face. And it is a problem.
So how can we stop infidelity? I’m starting with myself, by being honest and speaking my truth.
I have asked myself, “Why do I choose untrustworthy men with little integrity that have the ego to keep pursuing other women while in a relationship because they value excitement more than stability?”
The answer: I chase exciting interesting men in the hopes they are single and available and it may come as a surprise to you but it’s because I’m exciting and interesting myself. Ha, ha!
When meeting exciting interesting men, I see my reflection and that feeds my curiosity. Unfortunately, many of these exciting, interesting men I have met over the past two years have not been single; nor have they admitted to having a girlfriend up front.
The truth always comes out, in time, because I make sure to ask the appropriate questions and put a stop to taking things further. I know in my heart of hearts he’s not going to leave his girlfriend so I find no more thrill in the hunt. Duh.
But, I am left with the disappointment and thought: “All the good ones are taken.”
When the reality is: “This man had no integrity in the first place; I don’t want him!”
Looking at my archetypal patterns and the energy I’m spinning, I obviously have trust issues. I keep attracting unavailable men. So here I am, knee-deep in the muck because I placed myself here, not because I have ever cheated on anyone, but because I planted seeds of doubt that relationships are not pure.
I had been cheated on in my very first relationship. Having little trust in men stems from these old patterns of the past. Now I’m forced to look at these patterns and change the only common denominator in my life: myself.
If you are a man reading this and keep attracting women who are also in a relationship, take responsibility for your own actions, right here and now—join me.
In the end, we can only take responsibility for changing our self, the way we view life and the choices we make. I’m not embarrassed. I’m human. I make mistakes and learning from them is the most valuable lesson gained through every experience I encounter.
I’m willing to do the dirty work, to get down on my hands and knees and look under that bottom shelf called my past life, you know the one, the one that hasn’t been dusted for a long time. Get under there and clean that sh*t out!
Infidelity may be inevitable whether it’s physical or emotional but it’s most definitely not a black and white solution.
So if you relate to my words in any fashion, ask yourself these questions:
What does your relationship mean to you?
What do you share together that no one else can intercede and take?
Are your parents still together?
Did your father leave you or your mother?
Do you have any role models or paradigms of successful relationships in your life?
Have you always gone for emotionally unavailable men/women or did you start after a specific event in your life?
So, starting today and not a minute sooner: I will start choosing men based on one quality alone: integrity.
His and my own! Integrity will trump attraction and I have already quickly discovered that the lack of impulse to engage with men who are taken is going to bring me closer to the one I’m meant to be with. No more distractions.
Heidi Parker. One day I will find a man who loves the ocean just as much as I do, believes in the innate oneness of all things and beings, knows that love is the only thing that can change the world, agrees that exploring and traveling to far off distance lands will heal the soul along with endless amounts of laughter and a top priority second to cuddling in the mornings will be for the love of food and planning our next meal even when we are not hungry! I created Seeking Santosha, a small boutique lifestyle wellness company after many years of a corporate rat-race lifestyle. I finally found the courage to follow my truest desires and live out my dream of running my own business. I’m here to inspire you to do the same. To be the change you wish to see in the world, together, a common goal.
Editor: Edith Lazenby