April 30, 2013

Crazy Sexy Cleanse: A Review. ~ Jenna Penielle Lyons

Buddha said that “Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” 

If you love eating kale, avocado, rice milk, spinach and bananas, this one’s for you.

The cleanse started at a time when it felt good. I needed a cleanse. My roommate’s girlfriend and my new friend Heather suggested that we do the Crazy Sexy Adventure together. At first, I was like, “What the hell?”

But then I read the book, and anything could be an improvement on how I was feeling. I had just gone through a breakup, I was tired, I hadn’t been sleeping, and I was stressed about things that were happening in my life and all the tasks I had to accomplish on a deadline. I wasn’t taking care of myself, and my body and happiness was suffering.

I had always struggled with image issues; as a former ballerina, I had gone through adolescence and young adulthood thinking I was fat and always depriving myself of the nutrition I needed as a serious athlete. I quit ballet and entered college as a bonafide anorexic and workout fiend who only ate spinach, chewed Orbit bubble gum, ate Hydroxycut and drank coffee by the gallon. I was terrified of letting myself “go” over 100 pounds.

But, 30 pounds and a couple years of soul-searching later, I feel stronger, have gained a lot of lean muscle, and for the most part, I eat a clean diet full of fresh and organic foods. But, like most people, from time to time, I let a gluten and sugar-loaded scone creep into my life or (*gasp*) I eat a corn dog and Twizzlers on road trips. And who isn’t a fan of beer after or during skiing? These things offer only temporary satisfaction…let them go and replace them with foods that create a positive environment in the most important thing of all–your own body. And now, I view it is a responsibility to heal and to help other young girls (and boys!) escape the wrath of the health/diet/image frenzy they are bombarded with today.

Let me explain what Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet is. You can check out her website here.

The cleanse is 21 days long. And the point of it is to remove acidifying foods from your body so that you create an environment that makes it impossible for free radicals to survive; essentially, and like most cleanses, you are attempting to create a more pure body. You are cleaning yourself. You are not starving yourself or fasting. You fast for a couple days out of the three weeks. Kris Carr is a cancer survivor, and she attributes her success to the alkalizing effect of the Crazy Sexy Diet.

In this particular cleanse, you are only eating foods that have an alkalizing effect.

You’re adjusting the pH of your body. You’re becoming hot and sexy! Like a hot tub! Here’s a list of the top alkalizing foods and foods that you can eat doing the Crazy Sexy Adventure:

Beets/beet greens
Cabbage (kimchi!)
Fermented veggies
Green beans
Green peas

Sea veggies
Sweet potatoes
Wild greens

Coconut, fresh
Dates, dried
Figs, dried

Tropical fruits

Almonds, tempeh, tofu

Apple cider vinegar
Bee pollen
Green juices

Mineral water
Molasses, blackstrap, agave
Probiotic cultures

Essentially, this is what a day in the life of the Crazy Sexy Adventure looked like for me:

6:00 – 9:00 a.m. Wake up, drink a mug of hot water with lemon juice and cayenne pepper in it. Add mint for best results. Read, homework, early morning yoga class…gentle morning activities. If I have time, I make a bowl of quinoa with rice milk, cinnamon, and agave in it. I usually have a huge bowl of oatmeal, so this is a good substitute. I’m terrible at eating food in the morning, so the smoothie is a good option because it’s easy to get down!

9:00 a.m.- 1 p.m. Blend kale, avocado, banana, rice milk, cucumber, maca powder, cayenne pepper, and huge chunk of ginger root. Drink quickly for best results. Do homework. Write. Go for a run. Lift weights. Walk by the river. Go to yoga. Go for a hike with the dog. Write my blogs. By this point, I’ve usually had about eight cups of tea.

1:00 p.m. By this point, I have a massive caffeine headache, mostly because I usually have three shots in the dark every morning for breakfast. However, the smoothie and the cayenne/lemon creations seem to be keeping me full! For lunch, I would usually have an apple or banana with almond butter on it or a baked sweet potato. And more tea.

2:00 – 5:00 p.m. Go to class again. Go hiking. Run errands. Have more tea. Eat some seaweed or an apple as a snack.

5:45 p.m. I usually go to yoga during this time, and beforehand, I eat some Honey Stingers and drink some lemon water.

7:00 p.m. Apres yoga, I am always somewhat hungry. For dinner, I would have some miso soup with added seaweed, some tofu cooked with mushrooms, cumin, turmeric, and tamari. Or a kale salad with lemon juice, olive oil and pepper on it. Or cook a pablano pepper with some tomatoes. Or eat half a jar of kimchi.

I usually would make a dessert smoothie, which inevitably has avocado, rice milk, chia seeds, maca powder, lots of cayenne pepper, ginger, and lots of raw cocoa powder in it. I would maybe sprinkle some bee pollen on top. This smoothie is what got me through the cleanse, I think.

9:00 – 11:00 p.m. Drink more tea (chai with rice milk and agave in it if I need to stay up late). Do more homework. Chug water. Bedtime.

Basically, the cleanse isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s kind of addicting.

I am an endurance athlete and a wildland firefighter; needless to say, I hike, run, ride bicycles and lift weights a lot.

I also attend one or two Corepower or fusion yoga classes a day because I enjoy the way it makes me feel. I found myself feeling protein deficient three days into the Crazy Sexy Adventure, which is where black beans, quinoa and almond butter come into play. As soon as I added those things to my diet, I felt better and stronger. I think the diet gives you enough room to manipulate your intake to fit your lifestyle. If you’re hungry, eat more food! It’s all good food, and you can eat as much of it as you want without getting fat as long as you are remaining active, staying hydrated, and sleeping.

By Day 10, my skin was clearer, my eyes were brighter, and I felt lighter and leaner. I was able to focus better on the things I was doing. I made some awesome brownies by blending sweet potatoes, avocado, kale, banana, agave nectar, coconut oil, black beans and adding those ingredients to a bowl of garbanzo flour, cocoa powder and cinnamon. You can really make anything you want…you just have to be creative!

Needless to say, I think I am going to keep doing the cleanse, but I am going to continue my three shots in the dark morning coffee tradition, continue eating honey Greek yogurt and eating fish and steak a couple times a week. I also miss my one square of dark chocolate every night, so that will be added to the Crazy Sexy Ongoing Adventure as well. Red wine will be coming back in limited quantities–only in celebratory fashion!

I will give Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Adventure Diet 8/10 stars, mostly because I really missed coffee. However, I think she does a great job of encouraging positive life changes and self image. The Crazy Sexy Diet book is informative and empowering. Do the cleanse with a friend: Thanks, Heather, for sharing the Crazy Sexy Adventure with me! For more about self-empowerment, visit Vital Being Wellness.

Now go on a run, read a book, go to yoga and have a green smoothie! You rock! You’re Crazy Sexy!




Jenna Penielle Lyons was born in Portales, New Mexico among sage and sand. Raised in Pocatello, Idaho among the black rock and juniper, she grew up wandering in cowboy boots, running, riding bikes, skiing, climbing, painting, and studying classical ballet. She is a scholar of English Literature, a poet, painter, photographer, musician, and outdoorswoman. She winters in Missoula and spends the summer working for Snake River Hotshots. She is a lover of mountain bluebirds & elephants, tea & good coffee, Carl Jung, Salvador Dali, skiing, climbing in the desert, yoga, harp music, and sagebrush. Her favorite foods are borscht and any combination of chocolate and cayenne pepper. Follow her adventures at http://www.thelyonsroarliterature.wordpress.com.




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Ed: Kate Bartolotta

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