January 16, 2014

The Lazy Moms.

We are the ones sitting on the couch in our yoga pants at four in the afternoon with a hot cup of coffee in hand, hair pulled back in a pony tail and kids no where to be seen.

We are the lazy moms and we completely accept that fact about us.

On school days we see the other moms with their larger-than-life SUVs and their perfectly curled hair. These are the moms strutting around a fresh coat of lipstick and manicured nails. Who are they and how do they have time for lipstick?! They wait in line at the elementary school to pick up their herd and tote them off to the evening activities of McDonald’s drive-thru, soccer practice, ballet recital and PTA meetings. Smiles graze across their recently whitened teeth, but if you look closer you’ll see it. It’s in their eyes. Underneath the layers of concealer and mascara is the exhaustion, the stress, the “I’m so tired I wish I was sitting on my couch in my yoga pants”.

You and I though, we’re not quite like the others. Some may call us lazy but I prefer to just call us sane. Don’t worry, we will use the word sane in the loosest of ways.

The truth is, we value our time. Our time to be who we are, who we’ve been and contemplate who we want to be. When we became mothers, it changed us, but it didn’t define us. We are more than just a mom. We are teachers, mothers, friends, wives, partners, daughters, aunts, sisters, and although we may not be the master, or even good at any of those identities, we know that we are all of those. Not merely just one.

We don’t want to be a slave to anyone…not even to our children. We want to enjoy them, not be chained to them. If they must they can call us lazy, but it’s only because we refuse to make our schedules so tightly packed that we don’t even have time to stop and breathe.

Being the lazy mom we tend to realize certain things.

Things like: Just because we are lazy does not mean our kids have dirty clothes, our house is a mess or the dishes are never done. Well, sometimes it does.

I’ll be the first to admit that our beds are never made, and frankly the people who make their beds with 12 throw pillows and quilts folded neatly at the bottom of the bed freak me out a tad.

But I’ve noticed my house to be actually cleaner when I’m lazy. Maybe it is because I get rid of more stuff because I don’t feel like putting it away, or maybe it’s because I’m not so hell bent on having scrubbed floors—swept is good enough. It may take days to finish one load of laundry but it eventually gets done. It’s not hard to be lazy and clean.

Sometimes I do daydream about what it would be like to have the nicely manicured nails and the freshly highlighted hair. Sometimes I dream of being that mom. The fashionable clothes, the cute boots, the hair appointment once a month. Then, I realize I’m too lazy…and too cheap.

I’d much rather have time to sit around with my family at night over a home cooked dinner instead of rushing off to another appointment, another meeting or another yoga class. My yoga pants work just as well at home as they do in a fancy studio next to the blonde bombshells with the cute little outfits and matching shades of lip-gloss.

Being the lazy mom also means we let our children run free. Where are they now? We’ve sent them to their rooms to nap and now we’re listening to the sounds of their voices whispering and creating some fantasyland in their heads. They’re in the play room yelling at one other because “They had that crayon first!” And we’re taking another sip of our coffee, pretending that we don’t hear them, waiting to see if they can work it out themselves.

Our dog is scratching at the backdoor wanting inside but those 15 steps just aren’t enough to motivate us to get up and let him in. It’s nice outside, he should be happy he has a fenced in yard and should be enjoying the fresh air! We are waiting until the last possible minute to start cooking supper before it’ll border on bedtime snack and dinner all in one.

I don’t know about you, but I enjoy not being busy. I do however enjoy being productive, but only on my terms. If I feel like sitting down and taking a break…I do. If I feel like taking a walk…I do. If I feel like staying in yoga pants all day long…you bet I do. And I enjoy it! I don’t feel bad about it at all. I hope you don’t either. Nowhere in the mom manual did I read that we have to be a slave to our home and family. It’s just not in there, trust me I looked.

As you guessed it, I’m writing this sporting my yoga pants, on my couch, with a cup of tea. My kids are yelling at me from their bunk beds wondering if it’s snack time, if it’s time to get up, if dad is home yet. I’m trying to convince them that I am sleeping, I don’t think it’s working. I’m being lazy. I hope you are too, you deserve to be, and should be.

Please know that it’s ok to be lazy. It’s ok to not overdo things, to rest, to listen to yourself and to know when you’ve done enough. I’m listening to myself more lately and it seems I’ve spent years doing too much and now it’s ok to not do too much. Please be proud of what you do. Love those children, read them stories, teach them things, care for them and be present. That is far greater of a gift you can give them than any activity.

So I say to one lazy mom from another: Let lazy mean that we are simply reviving our energies, we are laid back, well rested and we are living in the moment. We are doing just fine and rushing around doing too much will only rush the little time we have on this earth.

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo: Juco via Flickr

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