I would like to believe that lovers are bound to stay.
But the truth is that some of them leave.
Although I can beat my head against the wall and try to untangle why they leave, I choose not to.
Weâ€™re conditioned human beings with a myriad of emotions whichÂ are triggered byÂ the most absurd situations.
I can hardly understand my own conditioned self. How about understanding a lover who wishes to leave?
If they want to leave, let them go.
I wonâ€™t fool you into making them stay. And I definitely wonâ€™t lecture you onÂ the best tips to keep a lover around. No matter how hard we try, nothing stands in the way ofÂ a lover who wants to leave.
Reality is different than our mental constructions. We would like to believe that the person we love the most would never leave our side.Â We lull ourselves into a forever-and-always sense when in a new relationship, and try to make that our new reality.
But the reality is that people and circumstances change.
What began yesterday might end at any moment. Denying this truth is as futile as waiting for a flight atÂ a train station.
Let them go.
People come into our lives for a reasonâ€”and they leave for a reason. Donâ€™t look for it or overthink it. When you let them go, the reason manifests.
Perhaps when we let them go, then someone else will comeÂ into our lives.
Maybe the person weâ€™re letting in is ourselves. And maybe, the person weâ€™re letting go of is meant to come into our lives again. Weâ€™ll never know the reason behind an intense loss until we come to terms with it.
Instead of wrapping your arms around the person who wants to go, use your arms to open the door for them.
Watch them as they leave, and know that whatâ€™s meant to happen will fall into place.
Release them and trust that the north side of a magnet will always be attracted to the south side of another magnet. If you are your loverâ€™s south, theyâ€™ll find their way back to you.
And if they donâ€™t, trust that youâ€™ll find the north youâ€™re meant to attract.
If they want to leave, know that the most logical choice is to let them leave. Everything else you might attempt to do is insane. Donâ€™t even try to figure out how you should let them go.
Let them go the same way youâ€™d throw a stone into the sea. You donâ€™t think of what will become of the stone. You donâ€™t know whether it might reach the depths of theÂ ocean or if a wave might push it back to you. You just throw it.
Throw that stone and know that youâ€™ll be okay. Heartbreak initially hurts, but then it makes us stronger.
Let them go.
If they donâ€™t love you enough to stay, love them enough to let them leave.
Perhaps there isnâ€™t an absolute idea about love. The fact isÂ that we pinpoint love according to our experiences. That said, if the one you love wants to leave, believe that letting them go is the ultimate form of love.
Build your perception around this notion and live by it. Consider every second spent without them is a chance for your love to grow.
Let your love grow and show them the exit.
Itâ€™s not your fault, and most likely, it isnâ€™t theirÂ fault either. Whatâ€™s the point of blame if thereâ€™s no one to blame?
Everything in life ebbs and flows, and we must flow with it.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: I’m Priscilla/Unsplash
Editor: Caitlin Oriel