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December 14, 2018

Self-Care isn’t a Solo Act: 3 Tips to Taking Control of Your Happiness.

Self-Care Series Part 2

Taking the time to determine and implement a new self-care routine is not selfish and can feel daunting, but no one ever said you had to go it alone.  Starting a new self-care routine can also be exciting!  You buy the new supplements and workout clothes with a sassy saying.  You sign up for an interesting sounding class, download the newest app…but when the days and weeks start to pass and the newness of your routine turns weary, what then?

In the midst of all the caretaking of others you do, starting to add your own wants and needs to the list, let alone at the very top, can feel overwhelming and unrealistic.  The late nights at the office, dealing with diapers and homework battles, managing multiple employees or the emotions of loved ones can really start to take its toll on your mental health if you do not have a system in place to take care of YOU as well.

First start taking stock of what matters to YOU, at this point in your life.  Next devise a plan to work as many of those joy inducing things into your daily routine as you can.  Then surround yourself with people who reciprocate your love and support by holding you up in times of need.  Just because the word ‘self’ is in the phrase ‘self-care’ does not mean it’s a one-woman endeavor.

Here are three tips to revamping your routine and filling your life with new experiences, activities, and people you love who support your journey to peace and fulfillment.

  • Take the time to start figuring it out. This step may require a few late nights or early mornings to journal your feelings (eww feelings)., but intentionally reflecting upon what it is you really want is the beginning of real change. You can start by making a list of what makes you laugh, experience feelings of calmness, or feel good about yourself.  Then do those things!  Start scheduling those experiences into your life.

Do something different than your current routine.  Meditate for 10 minutes by your back window before getting the kids up.  Sign up for the class you’ve been curious about forever but always talked yourself out of actually attending.  Do you really like going to the movies mid-day and burying your face in a bucket of popcorn?  Make it happen.  Regularly.  Have a friend who makes you laugh so hard your face hurts when you part ways?  Reach out and set a reoccurring lunch date. And keep it.

  • Create a new routine just for you. This is the fun part!  Really, it is!  Big change can come from tiny tweaks.  You new routine can be as simple as making your bed in the morning to signal the end of the sleep cycle and start of a fresh day.  Always forgetting to take your vitamins, supplements, or a medication that could physically help you feel better?  (Raises hands sheepishly)

Let me ask you this… Do you forget to check your email every day?  Do you forget to log in Facebook?  Do you forget to get dressed?

There are things we do out of habit or necessity every day that can be used as cues to help us remember the other things that seem to so easily slip our minds.  Couple a new ‘to-do’ with something you already do without thought.  So maybe when you brush your teeth in the morning you take your vitamins.  Or before you log-on to social media you make yourself journal for 10 minutes or do some energy clearing every time you log off.  Try to think of ways you can improve areas of your life by attaching new routines to existing ones.

  • Find Growth Friends. We are not made to go through life alone.  Having a buddy to check in on each other can make all the difference in the world.  In moments of weakness, we may easily skip a workout or new self-care habit.  Even though it’s something we know will help us feel better in the long run, sheer will power doesn’t always cut it.  But if you have a friend waiting there for you at the new Zumba class you signed up for, you’re more likely to get out and go on the days it’s cold and you’re tired… and you will feel better afterwards!

Or maybe everyday your new Growth Friend is expecting a selfie of your freshly made bed and smiling face as your cheers with the 20oz of water you committed to drinking first thing in the morning. Sometimes that support is enough to help you stay committed to the goal you came up with for yourself.

Activate a series of checks and balances so you’re not alone in the care of YOU.

People love you.  Some really want to be there for you, so let them.  Reach out when you’re having a down day.  Call someone and cry it out.  It’s OK.  Lean on others.  Taking care of you doesn’t mean doing it all yourself.  If you have a system of support in place you’re most likely to succeed in your self-care goals, especially on the days you just aren’t feeling it yourself.  This will build in consistency and help you succeed.

These are things you are doing for YOU, steps intentionally put into place to help you become the healthiest, happiest version of yourself.  Invest the time necessary to establish a new standard of living so in line with your inner peace and calmness that no outside source can steal the happiness and satisfaction from your life.

The third article in this Self Care Series guides you through a process of plotting out HOW you can actually overhaul multiple areas of your life.  From real life relationships to your social media news feed, let’s design a life beyond your best dreams.  You’ve got this, friend!

 

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Leah Bomar  |  Contribution: 730