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*Warning—naughty language ahead!
Fellow men: I know we’re all eager to learn how to have multiple orgasms.
Just think of the increased pleasure, the satisfied partners, and the impressive stories that will come with that new skill!
But there are more important benefits most of us are not aware of. Along with the ability to be multi-orgasmic comes the opportunity to move potent sexual energy throughout the body for supercharged vitality and an expanded sense of self.
Before we arrive at the part about becoming “a multi-orgasmic machine,” it is crucial to understand the current landscape in which our collective sexuality has ceased to function properly.
Male sexuality as we know it
Our society is experiencing an epidemic of failed relationships—porn addiction, sexual disconnect, and dysfunction of all kinds. Young boys are being sexually conditioned as young as 11 years old by both pornography and a culture deeply saturated in toxic sexual shame.
The truth, however hard the pill is to swallow, is that men have become far removed from their true masculinity. Embodied masculinity is absolute presence. Solidness. The ground from which all energy, all sensations, and all pleasures are created and experienced.
For the majority of men, self-love is anything but mindful. Most of us use pornography almost exclusively to achieve that momentary sense of freedom. The porn-addicted mind and body become anxious and numb, severed from reality. Empathy for the feminine dissolves entirely! We are completely out of touch with our own bodies. Self-pleasure and the pleasuring of others have become bound in deeply-rooted shame.
Our real-life bedroom moments can’t live up to the unrealistic sexual expectations of a porn-saturated mind. Working vigorously while striving to achieve that “big” moment has cut us off completely from the very thing that makes us so divinely masculine. Perhaps the more tragic part of this story is that this, as a result, never allows us to surrender to the true power that is the primal sexual energy.
Sounds awful, right? It gets worse. With empathy long gone and our conditioned sexual past projected onto our partners and into the space of our lovemaking, it’s no surprise that most relationships are in the state they are in: total disconnect.
Some of us may be so ridden with shame and insecurity that we avoid intimacy all together. Others, without realizing it, use our partners as objects to satisfy our toxically conditioned minds.
We generally have very little awareness of a woman’s body, her energetic needs, or her pleasures. We lack the presence she requires from us for her to completely let go, receive our energy, and release into her own.
I know this can sting upon initial realization—decades of sexual memories may come flooding back, triggering all sorts of uncomfortable feelings—but it’s not our fault. We were taught nothing about a woman’s power. Nor was she! Everything we know about both masculine and feminine sexuality was absorbed from porn and media.
So let’s get to the point: becoming a multi-orgasmic machine. You should know before going on, there is no way this can be learned by simply reading a blog post. What you can do is take the following tips and begin to play with them. This is a life practice. To take it to the next level, an adept tantric teacher is highly recommended.
Here are some tips to get you started:
Get off the porn. It’s time to let go! It is not serving us in the least; it is harming us and making us numb. Pornography is cutting us off from our own capacity to experience the immense amount of pleasure available within our own bodies. It is unknowingly conditioning our sexual beliefs and sexual responses in profound ways. Do what you have to do to get off of it.
Reach out for support if needed.
Expose toxic sexual shame. Our sexual conditioning must come completely unraveled. The deeply ingrained belief system we hold about the nature of our consciousness—our hearts, our bodies, and our vital sexual energy—must be reevaluated and restored to nature.
We need to connect with a lover, a teacher, or a group that is a healthy, loving, and non-shaming mirror through which we can expose the shame that binds us to this limited self.
Awaken vital sexual energy. This is where a great teacher and tantra’s many useful techniques come in. We can apply myriad combinations of ritual, meditation, kriya, mantra, hatha yoga, Qigong, and dance to restore our natural flow of sexual energy and then learn how to move that energy with awareness. Proficiency in energetic sciences such as hatha yoga is a must. Obviously, this takes time to learn and practice.
Slow the fuck down. Seriously, men! We all need to slow it way down. This applies to self-love and partner time. How can we even feel anything while we’re battle ramming a partner at such great speeds?
In order for our partners and us to be able to truly feel, we have to go slower. Our female partners will be elated! Finally, they will have some space to be able to relax and fully open. In time, and with their own practice, they will be able to receive us completely. Women have become far too accustomed to tolerating the tense discomfort of cocks unceasingly poking at their face and sacred pussies.
Breathe and relax. The breath must flow freely, easily, and naturally. If it isn’t moving, or is moving harshly, we aren’t relaxed. If we aren’t relaxed, the flow of sexual energy becomes restricted. Orgasms will either not come or they will be forced and minuscule compared to the boundary-dissolving wave of electricity that is possible with the right understanding.
Practice, practice, practice. This is the best part, and it will take place over a lifetime. Practice, practice, and practice some more. Let this become your new hobby! We must practice alone, at least some, before including a partner.
This begins by setting aside some time without disruptions or goals. Remember, we need to be relaxed. Have a shower/bath, light candles, play music, smudge, and do whatever else will enhance the flow of energy and create grounding.
Basic guidelines for a self-love ritual:
1. Using a favorite oil, first massage around the penis. Don’t go straight for it–explore! There are many pleasure receptors in other parts of the body. Direct some awareness and pleasure through the abdomen, legs, anus, perineum, and scrotum. Take your time warming up the body. This creates resensitization to touch. Spend at least 10 minutes doing this before even thinking of touching that sacred rod.
2. Remain connected to the breath. Take notice of the sensations. Ensure the leg muscles and pelvic floor are not tense. Do not try to make an orgasm come by bearing down, clenching, or bracing.
3. Practice riding the waves of pleasure close to orgasm and then slowing down—or stopping if needed—in order to avoid ejaculating. Edge closer and closer to the final release. Be completely aware of all sensations. Breathe into them. Remain physically relaxed. After much practice you will be able to ride the energy right to the point of climax; the body will orgasm without ejaculating.
You can apply some learned tantric magic to withhold the semen, retaining that potent energy. (This is where hatha yoga is useful).
4. Awareness and breath then draw that sexual energy up through the body and toward the space above the crown. (Kriya yoga is useful here.)
5. Repeat this until you either run out of time or can no longer contain yourself. If there is no orgasm in this session, let that be a good thing! Know that the sexual energy awakened during playtime can be spread throughout the body for enhanced vitality.
The truth is that this may seem difficult at first. Either the ejaculate cannot be withheld, and it ends quickly, or it could be difficult to remain present and aroused without pornography or fantasies.
Don’t be discouraged and give up after one or two practices. Once confidence is developed, it can be practiced with a partner as both the giver of pleasure and the passive receiver of pleasure.
The play-space we consciously create with our partners can be the most powerful shame-free space we have access to. Let’s use it!
More than just sex
I want to make it clear that this is about so much more than enhancing a man’s sexual performance. In fact, that is the least important part of becoming multi-orgasmic. Ultimately, it’s about truly awakening as the divine masculine beings we are.
And in doing so, realizing the capacity to hold space for divine feminine energies to unfold within our beloved partners and ourselves.