November 3, 2019

How to Ditch Small Talk & Connect with Strangers.


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We are all human.

We are all trying to “figure” out this thing called life.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to protect ourselves from hurt and pain.

Why do we think we are “different?” That my pain is different than yours; that you don’t feel the longing to be loved as I feel it?

I’m here to experience acceptance, a radical acceptance of myself and therefore others.

I’m welcoming all of myself—the shadow, the light, the shame, and the celebration. It’s such a beautiful witnessing when you can share your inner experience with people, making the implicit explicit. This is what creates a connection, a shared present reality.

What causes separation is our assumptions of each other—me thinking I know you, or having assumptions about you before I’ve met you (Where did I meet you? Who told me about you? Maybe I took on that person’s opinion of you? What you are wearing or what you look like makes me assume things too).

Our assumptions about people, situations, and life help make us feel safe. Safety, I know, is my priority in life, and when I don’t feel safe, I’m not myself. I’m guarded, edgy, alert, and ready to quickly move.

What cultivates safety is connection, seeing and being seen and welcoming who you are without judgment.

How do we cultivate connection?

Welcome your experience and reveal your inner world to others.

When you start revealing your inner world, you allow people to get to know you, the real you, not the you that you think people want to know. We often think our inner worlds are shameful, ridiculous, scary, or not meaningful. Yet it’s precisely your inner world I’m interested in.

What are you noticing now?
How are you feeling?
What do you assume about me?

You are fascinating. Stop filtering yourself to be who you think you should be. (The need to belong often makes us think we need to be someone else in order to fit in, otherwise we will be outcasts.)⠀

It’s edgy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s extremely vulnerable.

And that’s exactly why it’s needed.

What can you share right now that will reveal your inner experience?

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