*Editor’s Note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal views of the authors, and cannot possibly reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here.
I like to show off sometimes.
We all do.
It’s part of being human. You can call it “ego” if you want. Ego is also part of every human being. It’s part of life here on earth.
Sometimes, I enjoy taking photos of myself while working out, when improving my technique of training, when I want to keep track of how my legs have changed since when I started dancing, how my vagina looks like in a bikini, and how my butt stands still lifted inside my sexy panties.
For many females, exposing our bodies is a deep need.
It’s like reminding ourselves of the wild creatures that live within our bodies.
They can take the shape or the form of a dragon, a snake, a swan, or any other creature of nature.
Exposing our bodies is a need of connecting with our flesh and sexual energy. It’s a language we cannot translate.
Exposing our bodies as women is a deep need to reveal what we keep secret, between closed doors, the desires between our thighs and the wet thoughts of forbidden fantasies. It’s speaking of what we have repressed for a long time, what we have denied in our human nature of being deeply sexual beings.
It is a need to uncover the layers of our multidimensional spirits in colors and shapes.
But women, especially those who dare to expose their physical forms, those who are connected intimately with their sensual nature and sexual energies, those who have found liberation and new levels of awareness through their sexual nature and sexual energy, are oftentimes seen as a threat, have been shamed and criticized since the beginning of times. They are called witches, sinners, and were/are often killed by those with a patriarchal mindset.
A woman’s whole body is erotic. And if a woman does feel disconnected from her body, she suffers all kinds of pains and diseases. It’s when she connects with her spirit through her body that she finds her way back to herself.
Many women are finding their way back to themselves today—though there is still shame, stigma, fear, and condemnation toward women’s bodies and how they express themselves.
But my body is my own.
I like to make art with it.
I love its shapes as it moves and dances.
I used to have a complex relationship with my body.
I used to be scared of being beautiful.
I used to be scared of being fit.
I used to be scared of others seeing my sensuality and sexual expression, because that would make me feel like prey in their eyes.
I hated my small breasts when I was a teenager. I wanted them to be bigger.
I hated my thighs. I wanted them to be slimmer.
I did not connect with my pussy—and only did in those times when I craved sex.
I did not like my vagina. I wanted it to be a different shape.
I felt my body was dirty and not “perfect.”
I struggled with my body image for long years, until in my late 30s, when I slowly started to see my body with new eyes.
There are still moments I feel disconnected from my body even today.
But since I discovered pole dancing and movement, I feel my connection with my body has become more smooth. I feel my body more now. I feel the air passing through my lungs and the sensual energies running through my body from head to toe.
I listen to its desires better now.
I listen to its pain with open awareness.
I listen to its cravings with more attention.
I listen to the sensual energy that moves through my body with awe and curiosity.
Some days, I feel like hiding and closing.
Other days, I feel like opening up even more.
And the truth is that when a girl begins her journey toward womanhood, she will never be the same.
And there will be lots of periods of time when she will feel the need to close off and then open up and expose herself—in flesh, in mind, and in spirit.
She will refrain from casual sex. She will be discerning when it comes to choosing her partners.
With each new opening and revealing of her desires, her body, and her sexuality, a woman will become more selective of whom she trusts to touch her, to kiss her, to make love to her, or to f*ck her as deeply as she needs.
A sensual and sexual woman who feels at ease with all parts of her femininity and her spirit is also deeply wise, sharp, and intuitive.
She is as wild as she is wise.
Wild and wise go hand in hand in a woman.
So make no mistake.
A sensual woman who is on a journey to herself will destroy everything that is untrue.
She won’t settle for anything small.
A woman in tune with her body is an explosion many fear and only few will taste in order to get a glimpse of the divine in human form.
I am committed to this path.
I hope you start too.
Remember that you can be sensual and sexual and seductive, but you can be wise and sharp and have deep thoughts too, simultaneously.
A sexual woman is a wise woman.
If our sexual self is suffering, much in our lives is suffering.
Our self-confidence is suffering.
Our trust in ourselves is suffering.
Our trust in love and in our lovers is suffering.
Our financial situation is suffering.
Our creativity might be suffering as well.
Because the primal energy, which is the sensual/sexual energy is blocked or trapped.
And the best way to alter all areas of our lives is by getting closer to our bodies by exposing, revealing, exploring, and connecting with them deeply.