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September 6, 2020

The Two Priceless Truths I Tell Myself when Things go Wrong.

For the better part of my life, I wanted things to be perfect.

I didn’t want to leave that job, end that relationship, lose that friend, or leave that house—I didn’t want to terminate many things.

Then I was introduced to Buddhism. Through the teachings of the Buddha, I understood that things can rarely, if ever, be perfect. In a nutshell, Buddhists tell us that sh*t going down is life’s first and ultimate truth.

If we don’t accept it and understand its meaning, we are opting for failure. When we reject that truth, we cause tremendous heartache and emotional turmoil for ourselves.

I certainly grasped that things are bound to go wrong, and I saw it around me clearly: we die, we get sick, we lose people to death, we separate from loved ones, we grow old, and nothing is permanent.

But have I really accepted that truth? Not entirely. It wasn’t until last year that the reality of sh*t going down actually started to sit within me.

Instead of overthinking and trying hard to change reality when things didn’t go my way, I listened to the inner voice that started talking to me. That voice came naturally to me, and it greatly complemented what the Buddhists have long believed in: we only bring ourselves misery if we don’t accept that things are prone to go wrong in our lives.

That voice within me seems to tell me two things every time the sh*t hits the fan. Ever since I’ve started listening to it, I’ve had a greater chance of coping with whatever is wrong in my life:

You got this.

I do, really. I can’t even count how many times things went wrong in my life (no one can, right?). The scenarios were different every time, but there was always one thing in common: I f*cking made it alive. None of what angered me, bothered me, depressed me, hurt me, or pulled me down had the ability to kill me.

What I basically concluded was that I got this! I’ve been through so many bad things—and the worse is probably yet to come —but I’ve survived. Moving on was definitely arduous, but my present is only filled with memories now—not the event itself.

Next time we feel hopeless, let’s remember that we always adapt. We may never forget, and we may never move on, but we will definitely survive.

Call it habit or survival mode, we have the full capability to adapt to change. No matter how long we resist it, it will find us and force us to walk along with it.

What’s meant to be will be.

This is a golden rule. I’m not sure what kind of immunity I built in my system against calamities, but when things go wrong, a voice tells me to relax because what’s meant to be will be.

Looking back at my past, everything led me to where I am today. Every trip, every breakup, every decision, every mistake, every delay, and every blessing. I’m thoroughly convinced there’s no point in worrying or regretting because everything has its rightful place in the kingdom of time.

Whenever we feel regretful or worried, let’s remember that this is how things are supposed to be right now—this thought alone should be able to calm us down. Trust that nothing is really wrong. Everything happens at the right time, but we need time to figure it out.

Life comes with many surprises—painful and joyful—but we should be prepared for them and for the reasons that stem from them.

Most importantly, trust that the reason is always good—even if it looks bad on the surface.

~

 

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