November 23, 2020

I Want a Lover who Falls in Love With my Magical, Mysterious & Badass Self.

I am an artist and a mysterious creator at heart.

I have always been as far as I remember.

Being an entertainer and a performer has also been a long-lost passion of mine since childhood, and I’m bringing it up to life again through deconditioning and recreating myself every day.

In the middle of this creative process, I encounter so many inner blocks and shadows that, at times, are confusing.

But now I breathe into them and let them be.

I love to dance. Life has mysteriously joined me with pole dancing and many other pole dancers. Have I ever dreamed about being a pole dancer? Not even in my wildest dreams.

Pole dancing came to me to crack many parts of me wide open—literally and metaphorically. I’ve come a long way to finally understand what I like and don’t like.

I love putting on sexy, seductive, strappy, outfit and dance with a nine-inch pole heels.

I love sensual and hard dynamic moves that contain mystery, strength, grace, and a breathtaking form of sensuality and sexuality expressed through my body movements.

I love to be among free-spirited thinkers and dancers because I find them the most genuine, raw, and real beings on this planet who not only emit high vibes of energy but a breathtaking mystery as well.

Pole dancing makes me feel magical, which I believe is part of my essence—the way that music makes me feel the chills, the way my body wants to move, the way I connect to my inner femininity and her many shadows and forms.

I find it absolutely breathtaking.

Then I go out to the real world where I encounter men who supposedly want to get to know me better, only to be exposed later by their simple questions and poor emotional maturity.

I want them as far away from me as possible, as they don’t resonate with my spirit. Often, they ask me, “Why do you like pole dancing so much?” I respond, “Because it connects me with my sexuality and femininity and that connection of body-spirit makes me happy and alive. It also gives me my power back.” 

Others ask, “What if you can never dance again?” “Are you single? How come? How long have you not been touched by a man? Do you miss being touched?” I just respond that I don’t miss anything that doesn’t set my heart on fire.

Confused, they pause and ask again, “Is your family okay with what you do?”

As if what I’m doing is wrong, I reply to them, “My mom loves my sexy images and videos, and my dad thinks the same too. Does that answer your question?”

But they proceed, “Do you like more feminine or masculine men? Do you like dominant men? Do you need a guy to protect you? Do you have to put that ‘game on’ face when you dance? What do you mean with ‘magical life?’ Does the stigma around pole dancing bother you? Do you get out of control?”

I wonder, how is it possible that so many people ask these assuming questions. As far as I know, those questions don’t tell me they really want to get to know me. 

These questions come from a place of insecurity and fear. It appears as if they might want to hold me back from reclaiming myself and my power. 

These are not the people I want to surround myself with, let alone consider taking them as my lover or partner.

I was born to be a magical being, mysterious, and a badass entertainer, performer, and artist, and pole dancing has shown me the way to live my life to its fullest.

I’m constantly being challenged, and, at the same time, challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone. Then I find myself in the dating scene with men who ask me when was the last time I had sex without even getting to know me first.

Those men never asked me on a real day or night dates.

They never made the effort to really get to know me, but just made assumptions and thought they had the answers.

They play powerful, but their faces tell me the opposite.

They play secure, but they run away when I ask deep questions.

I’m not going to exchange or terminate my life’s path for anyone or any relationship. The man who chooses to be with me will honor and fall in love with all the parts of me that made other men run away.

I’m not trading my life and passion for love.

If our lover or partner doesn’t support our dreams and life’s journey, how far can it go? Do we really want them in your lives?

I certainly don’t. I’m not desperate. My everyday life is full of activities and hobbies that I enjoy.

Say no to toxic masculinity and start exploring men who dare to see and embrace their soft feminine side as well as their masculine side.

Don’t accept men in your life who don’t understand you. Men who feel weak or insecure around you and ask you if you like more feminine men as a result or if you like women instead.

Don’t allow toxic masculine men in your circle no matter who they are.



Read 2 Comments and Reply

Read 2 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Ilda Dashi  |  Contribution: 50,065

author: Ilda Dashi

Image: author's own

Editor: Elyane Youssef

See relevant Elephant Video