February 28, 2021

Why Birthing Ourselves into Someone New can be Messy & Painful.


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The Process of Birthing New Life.

I have given birth, naturally, four times.

It gets easier. You know what to expect, of course, but more importantly, you know what you are capable of.

I realised by my third birth that when I got to the point where I was calling out internally to all my Goddesses to take me now, because I could no longer bear the pain, the baby would emerge, and the pain would be gone in a few seconds.

I have applied this same wisdom many times when going through the process of birthing new conditions.

The birthing process is hard work, messy, painful, and sometimes traumatic. Support is needed, but no one can do it for you. Yet, it illuminates just what you are capable of. And the end result is the greatest gift—that of new life.

Knowing this doesn’t mean you avoid the pain. But it does help you ride the pain to its completion. In a way, you surrender to it so completely that you relax and allow for it to happen. You die the death of the old. And sometimes, you must recognise that there will be grief. It’s natural and understandable, especially when the new conditions you are birthing are radically different.

It is easy to run from the pain. Distance is like anesthetic. The problem with this approach is, the pain will catch up with you, eventually. And it will come in a different, mutated format that either has you quaking in your boots at the intensity, or, hopefully, makes you look it in the face.

You can’t outrun the birthing process. But the birth itself can be put off, over and over again. This, of course, causes misery, exhaustion, and sometimes death.

So why not just get it over with? Why not realise that the worst pain, that unbearable state that convinces you it will kill, happens as the worst is over? Things can only get better from here. The new life you brought into being is there…right before you. You might not see it straight away—through the tears. But once you wipe your face, blow your nose, and breathe, it will become obvious.

Of course, I speak as if this is easy. It’s the voice of experience writing this post after all. I am well aware that we live within a society that puts Band-Aids over pain.

There are many such Band-Aids—pills, food, drink, recreational drugs. These are not the support we need. They are a crutch to help us hobble on.

Women in labour have a midwife, or two, in attendance. They usually have a partner too. The partner can be utterly baffled by it all, but it does help to have your man around, even if you become painfully (sorry for the pun) aware that men are not always great at this. (Some men are fantastic, though!)

Those skilled midwives are the real help. They know what to do in any eventuality. They don’t always do what you want, but they do get you through the process.

I had an inner team too. I called upon Hathor, Isis, Hekate, Diana. I literally surrendered the process to them. Giving birth, for me, was an internal process. I was in a completely other dimension, fully focused on the waves of pain and sensations.

These helpers are vital in any birthing process, both physical people and spiritual energies. You will really benefit from having people around you who can take the reins while you fall apart. Falling apart is okay by the way. Often, it’s the only way to do this.

It is also vital to focus fully on the internal process. Feel those emotions—the shifting energies. Lose yourself in them for awhile. Acknowledge the pain, the disorientation. Don’t be scared to admit to yourself that you have no idea who you are, or how to move forward. These are natural thoughts to have in this extreme inner realm of birth. If you can do this, you will emerge back into a recognisable world…changed…but complete.

The danger occurs when you fight the process. When you try to look away, run—say no. We are not equipped for these natural growth spurts in a modern society. Mainly because we can end up as a gibbering wreck for a while, and then we can’t carry on the robotic existence of sleep, eat, work, sleep. It’s not conducive to business. It doesn’t make money. So out come the Band-Aids—and the darkness stays close, waiting to ensnare you once more.

Ancient societies knew how to support people at these times of life. They even encouraged, at a young age, these rites of passage where unbearable pain was conquered. This, of course, enabled an individual to understand just how much they were capable of. It empowered them.

We have forgotten how to do this. We have forgotten the importance and significance of embracing the darkness of the womb. We have forgotten that the womb is a place to grow, safely, nurtured into a new life. But women know. Women understand.

Please women, share your deep and personal journeys. Let your wisdom surface. So many are in need of good midwives to help them through the process of birthing themselves into someone new.



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