Where does confidence come from?
It comes from the belief that we are capable, that we are enough, that we are worthy of love and success.
Often, these belief structures are given to us as children, but when they aren’t, we need to take confidence matters into our own hands.
It’s important to view confidence as something that isn’t stagnant; in fact, it is quite the opposite. Confidence is something that we can grow. Just because we look in the mirror today and rip on ourselves and believe we’ll never live the life we want, doesn’t mean that tomorrow we’ll feel the same way.
We shouldn’t allow ourselves to get stuck in the trap that just because we lack confidence now means we won’t attain it in the future.
We need to embrace the changeability of confidence and open ourselves to the possibility that one day, we might look in the mirror and fully love the person looking back.
When Nourishing a Seed, Environment Matters
We don’t plant a seed in a bowl of soot and expect it to grow. So why do we allow people into our lives who don’t want us to flourish? If we allow the company we keep to hold us down, to make us believe that we’re not good enough, those whose focus is always the negative, then we’re expecting the seed of our confidence to grow from ashes.
We need to make a gentle commitment to ourselves that we’ll only allow people into our lives who inspire us, encourage us, and support us wholeheartedly. This will give the seed of our confidence healthy soil to grow from.
If we find ourselves in an environment where we’re forced to pretend, that’s not healthy either. We need to own our self-worth and know that we have every right to take up space on this planet exactly as we are.
“You’ve got to say no to the things that don’t honor you. No to the things that don’t bring you joy. And you don’t have to explain your no.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant
The Right Fertilizer: Intention and Belief
Belief and intention are the fertilizer for confidence to truly blossom. We need to transform our beliefs about ourselves, and to do that takes pushing beyond our comfort zone.
Because it’s uncomfortable to be kind to ourselves. We’ve gotten used to telling our beautiful being that we’re not good enough. This is a habit that we need to break if we ever want to feel confident. It takes work to forge a new path, especially when there’s a well-worn one right next to us.
It’s time to get comfortable watching our thoughts, and when those limiting beliefs come up, the thoughts that make us shrink in sadness and defeat, that’s when we need to gently remind ourselves that no, I am beautiful, I am worthy of love, I am intelligent…whatever it is.
This may be really challenging for us because we may not truly believe those things at all; so let’s encourage ourselves to speak into these statements, I am in the process of becoming beautiful, successful, loving, and so on.
We have the innate power and ability to rewrite our own belief structures. No matter what our upbringing was, no matter what abuse we’ve suffered or are currently suffering. We have the power to transform and everything that’s happened is for our own personal evolution.
Let’s set the intention to change our belief structure, and with time we will. It’s like anything, new habits take effort and they take time to become fully integrated. But with the power of intention, we can catapult our way toward these beliefs much faster.
We must set the intention to be kind to ourselves, to treat ourselves in the same way that we would treat a small child or our best friend. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen, darlings.
Let Our Inner Love Shine the Light of Growth
The sunshine of our love is the most important part of growing the seed of confidence within us. This beautiful, all-encompassing light is the whole reason we’re walking this path of personal growth. Even though it’s hard, we can love ourselves enough to say yes to growing that love.
With inner love comes a compassion for ourselves and for others. The mistakes we’ve made don’t make us bad people. Our past doesn’t need to haunt us for the rest of our lives. We can grant ourselves permission to stop the constant inner punishment and turmoil that plagues us so much. Just let it all go.
The more love we can cultivate for ourselves, the more we can naturally grow our confidence from the inside out. So often, people try to artificially gain confidence; they get plastic surgery, buy really expensive shoes, get a fast new car…and all of those things can be great! But they can also be distractions from addressing the root of the issue.
If we practice these things, we will gain confidence over time. The type of calm confidence that oozes mystery, that makes people wonder where we’ve got that magic.
It’s the stuff that comes from grit and determination—because it wasn’t given to us as children. And in the past, we may have seen that as a weakness, but when we grow in confidence, we can start to see it as a strength—because that’s what it truly is, my dear.
Are you ready to elevate your confidence and amplify the natural radiance that already exists within you?