April 8, 2021

Why we need Intimacy in Healing.

In my work, both face-to-face, and online, in one-on-one sessions and in workshops, I get to share many intimate moments with you.

These are moments of awareness, moments of understanding, moments of release and letting go, moments of revelation, seeing ourselves and our lives.

These are moments of the body, of opening, of touch, of softening, of receiving, of giving, of release, of pleasure.

These are moments of the heart, of love, of allowing love, love for ourselves, love for another, for life, allowing ourselves to be loved, feel love.

Moments of intimacy.

And I see how important intimacy is in healing, in learning, in growing, in experiencing.

Intimacy is allowing ourselves to open to the experience, to the moment, to the feeling, to the awareness.

Intimacy is being present to listen to the stillness within, to what we’ll hear in that quiet, beyond the chatter of the mind.

Intimacy is allowing ourselves to feel in our bodies: sensation, emotion, energy.

Intimacy is knowing ourselves without the judgment of others, without the expectation of others, without patterns and conditioning, and knowing our true selves.

Intimacy is opening our eyes, our inner eyes to see beyond the story to the fabric beneath.

Intimacy in healing is about us.

This is one of the reasons I think it’s so important that, as practitioners, we do our work, our practice. That what we do, what we share, comes from ourselves, our bodies, our hearts, not just our heads. It’s not about the techniques, it’s not about the information. It’s about the intimacy we have with ourselves.

This past week was a going into myself, into a sadness, an aloneness that’s been in me for so long.

Into a silence with this—deeper than I’ve felt before.

In this space of quiet tears, we’ve sat, without words.

And an awareness arises, of how this feeling takes me into a place where my heart softens, and I become aware of infinite space within my heart.

Of how often this feeling takes me to a well of creativity.

Of how it often dances with joy as I flow deeper into it.

Intimacy with ourselves shows us the doorways, the keys, the doors, the portals, the way in.

Intimacy with ourselves guides us, reveals the paths to walk.

Intimacy with ourselves allows possibility to emerge, limitless possibility in the energy of life.

It takes time, patience, to build this intimacy, to come to know ourselves, to know the subtlety, to go deeper and deeper through the layers.

It takes a constancy, and a willingness to do the practices.

Much of my work is around practices of embodiment.

Here’s a practice of connecting with yourself, softening into yourself, creating an intimacy with yourself:

I’ve been writing, talking, teaching a lot about our mouths recently, and the intimacy of the mouth. This is a mouth practice, a lip practice.

You can do it anywhere, maybe better with eyes closed the first time, after that, once you’ve felt it, anywhere.

This is an important understanding; so many practices we can do as micro-practices often in the day. They become part of life, keep us connected to ourselves, help us stay present.

So, close your eyes.

Take a breath in, and breathe out.

And again, in, slowly, and out.

And another, deep breath in, slowly, slowly, breathe out.

Bring your awareness to your lips, and have the awareness as you breathe that, with each inhale, your lips are softening; with each exhale, your lips are relaxing.

Inhale, soften your lips.

Exhale, relax your lips.

Six minutes is a full practice.

And a hint for something deeper: if you spend longer in the practice, you’ll feel that softening, that relaxing, spread from your lips, through your mouth, through your body.

As a micro-practice, take a few breaths into your lips any time.

After you’ve done it for a week or so, I’d love you to share with me what you’ve experienced.


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