“The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
Being single for a long time made some of us forget how being in a couple really felt like, and whether we want it or not.
We were used to our independence and our full life. I know I was—until the new normal took place, over a year ago. Our daily routines were interrupted, and we found ourselves confined to our homes, all alone.
For a moment, I regretted having waited for so long to find the right partner, and wished I had settled, just to have someone, anyone, “locked” in there with me. Then, I started seeing all those posts and memes about how couples cannot wait for this to be over—you know what they say about using humor to get a message across.
I also started thinking about all those people who feel lonely even when they are not alone. I realized that maybe, after all, I did not make a mistake, and somehow, I have always lived by this quote:
“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” ~ Steve Jobs
There is a Turkish proverb that says that no road is long with good company. Let us focus on the word “good” more than the word “company.” It would have been perfect if I had found that “good company” before the COVID-19 quarantine, but I’ve never been more grateful that I was not in just any company or even bad company during one of the hardest times in modern history.
I cannot give advice to couples who want their relationships or marriages to survive because I am in no place to do that. However, I can help single people like myself to appreciate being single, as it gives us a chance to ponder what we truly want in the potential partners that we would have liked to be quarantined with.
What are we really waiting for? It is certainly not Prince Charming. It is a person who we can live without but we do not want to because we not only have fun and laugh together, but we also enjoy and survive everything else in life, including misunderstandings and fights. We love, respect, support, and understand each other.
Personally, I’ve always argued the importance of having a ton of things in common. It has always been at the top of my priorities, next to that thing we call chemistry. In a nutshell, I want my partner to be my best friend. Many have disagreed and argued otherwise, yet as soon as they were stuck in lockdown, they started wishing their partner was watching the series with them that they are hooked on, reading a book that they can discuss later, playing video games, watching a game while teasing each other, or simply enjoying sitting there in silence because their partner brings them inner peace or at least lets them keep it.
Common values, soul harmony, and a common vision are vital for a smoother ride.
Last but not least, serving and supporting each other with a lot of love and care, not only out of duty, is one of the main keys to success in relationships.
Personally, I cannot imagine being with someone who does not care or does not show me every day in small acts of kindness and actions that they truly love me. Love is a verb, and it can never come alive if it is kept inside. When you are a passionate person, you will literally die if your partner does not meet you there.
Now that I am going back to life as I knew it, kind of, I promise to learn from past mistakes—whether I made them or other people did the deed for me.
I promise I will work on myself to be that partner and to wait for them. The partner who is the confidante, the best friend, the “soulmate” who is not an illusion; the partner who is real, supportive, present, easy-going, kind, loyal, honest, soft, communicative, patient, and fair, whom we shall share and enjoy our completeness with, in case God forbid another lockdown came our way.